“My two roommates have been locked in a butter war all week,” our submitter in Oregon reports. “One will pull out the butter to let it soften, and as soon as she walks away, the other will put it back in the fridge.”

Although our submitter says she’s made a point of staying out the debate, she spotted this note on her way out the door this morning…

By the time she returned home from class, a second note had appeared as well.

Adds our submitter: “I’m pretty sure the butter won’t actually kill me as the pink note says, but I also wonder how long the other roommate spent picking out a font for the printed note. Also: one roommate is a comm major and the other studies history. See if you can guess which is which.”

related: Live and not-so-active roommate culture

Writes our submitter in Madison, Wisconsin: “A coworker was cutting his fingernails into a community desk at work, so another coworker put on rubber gloves, collected the cuttings, and then put them into a sandwich bag with this note stapled on back in the drawer.”

The real kicker, though? As it turns out, there’s actually more than one nail-clipping culprit in the office, our submitter says, ”because several people took the note personally.”

Wha-wha-WHAT? I mean, one office weirdo — that’s practically a given. But an entire gang of clandestine communal-desk-drawer-nail-clipping coworkers?  That’s just messed up.

related: Sorry, I thought those were the *shared* office toenail clippers

I don’t ever condone passive-aggressive note-writing, but you should be warned: hard-core Diet Coke drinkers do not fool around. (Trust me — I’m a recovering addict myself.)

related: Enough with the diet sodas!

When I read this landlord’s note…

…this is roughly the image that came to mind:

Anyone else?

related: And you thought college students were foul…

Paul has lived in his apartment in Berlin for 15 months, but this note is the first time he’s heard a single complaint about his door. Especially annoying, Paul says, is the fact that it’s anonymous, “even though it could possibly have been written by only one of two people,” and that it’s written in English, “which most expats would consider an insult.”

Just another example of how — no matter smiley faces you sprinkle throughout — your oh-so-courteous anonymous note is probably just going to leave everyone more “pi**ed off.”

related: Wie bitte(r)?

extra credit: “Greetz” [urbandictionary.com]

Writes Brittney in California: “Apparently, my mom’s boyfriend was stuck with an insufficient amount of toilet paper, and being passive aggressive (because he really is) he decides to write a note about it and stick it on the mirror, rather than confront her.”

Mom’s response?

And, in the end….everybody loses!

related: I’m not here to wipe your dirty butt