Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking [...]

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Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

related: how berkeley

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The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be [...]

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“not long before i left my previous job writing reviews of video games, i got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game i didn’t exactly care for,” alex says. “game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one [...]

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derek and his bandmates in the grand rapids, mich. rock/metal band charles the osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.
unlike the unwilling participants in improv everywhere’s “best gig ever,” charles the osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. [...]

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our anonymous submitter in san diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “it’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. he’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. it’s bound to get around, ya know?”

adds our submitter: “there’s no safe way to respond to [...]

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This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

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our anonymous contributor works part-time (through a non-profit) at a large, “troubled” high school in milwaukee. today, while making some copies, she found this anonymous wonder.

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Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.

What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite

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“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”

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All I can say is…wow.

(click to enlarge!)

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(thanks to frank in san francisco. )

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“apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in ontario.

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Tim is the night auditor at a hotel in Fort Smith, Arkansas and hardly ever sees his bosses. Instead, they communicate with him through charming memos like this one.

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(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)
related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

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