Entries Tagged as 'sarcasm'

An e-mail from my arteries

January 19th, 2010 · 65 Comments

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?
“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

related: sympathy for the devil
extra credit: Shaking [...]

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

a “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

related: how berkeley

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Tags: parking · san francisco · sarcasm

News you can use

May 25th, 2008 · 62 Comments

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be [...]

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Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · facebook · garbage · ice · moms & dads · office · roommates · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · whiteboard

the fruitcake’s in the mail

April 15th, 2008 · 103 Comments

“not long before i left my previous job writing reviews of video games, i got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game i didn’t exactly care for,” alex says. “game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one [...]

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Tags: apostrophe abuse · e-mail · holiday spirit · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

i used to be your biggest fan

December 3rd, 2007 · 73 Comments

derek and his bandmates in the grand rapids, mich. rock/metal band charles the osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.
unlike the unwilling participants in improv everywhere’s “best gig ever,” charles the osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. [...]

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Tags: grand rapids · michigan · music · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

gossip boy

December 2nd, 2007 · 46 Comments

our anonymous submitter in san diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “it’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. he’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. it’s bound to get around, ya know?”

adds our submitter: “there’s no safe way to respond to [...]

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Tags: drizzunk · frenemies · san diego · sarcasm · sex sex sex · text message

Who are you calling OCD?

November 8th, 2007 · 149 Comments

This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

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Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · new york · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

no sarcasm left behind

September 27th, 2007 · 198 Comments

our anonymous contributor works part-time (through a non-profit) at a large, “troubled” high school in milwaukee. today, while making some copies, she found this anonymous wonder.

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Tags: milwaukee · office · raging against the machine · sarcasm

Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

September 26th, 2007 · 97 Comments

Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.

What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · all-staff e-mail · comic sans alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing

No, that’s not the British spelling

September 24th, 2007 · 128 Comments

“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”

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Tags: fridge · guilt trip · not-so-veiled threats · pizza · roommates · sarcasm · scotland · spelling and grammar police · stealing

the farewell email to end all farewell emails

August 27th, 2007 · 164 Comments

All I can say is…wow.

(click to enlarge!)

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Tags: art · new york · office · oh snap · raging against the machine · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

did you ever consider the possibility that…oh, never mind.

August 9th, 2007 · 71 Comments

 
(thanks to frank in san francisco. )

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Tags: california · e-mail · food · mold · office · questionable logic · san francisco · sarcasm

rules for thieves

August 1st, 2007 · 23 Comments

“apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in ontario.

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Tags: canada · e-mail · food · office · office fridge · ontario · sarcasm

P-E-T-T-Y

July 3rd, 2007 · 42 Comments

Tim is the night auditor at a hotel in Fort Smith, Arkansas and hardly ever sees his bosses. Instead, they communicate with him through charming memos like this one.

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Tags: a little patronizing · arkansas · exclamation-point happy! · highlighter · now that's management · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police

May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

June 14th, 2007 · 98 Comments

(From Midgy in Madison, Wisconsin.)
related: With 17 roommates, it could have been worse

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · TLDR · dishes · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · rhetorical question · roommates · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · wisconsin