PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » sarcasm

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

Kerry — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 00:35:17 +0000

Welcome to the set of Mean Girls: Orlando!

The initial note:

And the response…

Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

Kerry — Sun, 02 Oct 2011 19:36:23 +0000

Well played, Jerry Brown.

extra credit: “Look at that antelope driving a car!” [via thinkprogress.com]

There’s no “I” in Sarcasm

Kerry — Thu, 26 May 2011 01:44:32 +0000

“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”

(click the image below to enlarge)

“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”

To whom that wanted my cat bot

Kerry — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 23:19:34 +0000

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

related: Cat fight!

Warning: Beware of banana peels, falling anvils, and wet paint

Kerry — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 00:27:50 +0000

“I’m sure they didn’t actually paint the toilet seats,” says Brett in Syracuse. And yet, he says, when he saw this sign posted by a former co-worker, “I couldn’t stop laughing about the idea that that’s what got her.”

Perhaps a few signs like this (as spotted by Madeline at her university’s art studio) would have made for a proper rebuttal?

And your mosaic sucks

Kerry — Thu, 20 May 2010 02:45:58 +0000

Anybody else in the mood for a no-holds-barred, batshit-crazy tirade? ’Cause I sure am! Pretty much the only thing remotely “passive” about this message — which Jared in Seattle found taped to the front entrance of his share house — is the fact that it was delivered by note, rather than say, by fist.

The note writer takes a little while here to build up steam, but manages to get in at least one solidly below-the-belt jab before spiraling into a CAPS LOCK-induced rage blackout.

related: Worst secret admirer ever?

¡Bienvenido! Mi casa no es su casa.

Kerry — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 05:01:49 +0000

“I pass this billboard every day on my way home from work,” says our submitter from Tennessee. “Apparently, some tax breaks were given for Volkswagen to build a plant here in Chattanooga, which will eventually bring thousands of jobs to this area. This group is upset that not EVERYONE who is involved in constructing the plant was born in the United States.”

A side note from Ana in Guatemala (fifth flag from the left): “Guatemala is a very beautiful — albeit dangerous — country. Crime rates are through the roof, but in this small American-run inn, hope prevails…mostly.”

related: America the not-so-beautiful

An e-mail from my arteries

Kerry — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 04:23:21 +0000

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?

“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

related: sympathy for the devil

extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen

A “sincere” apology

Kerry — Thu, 07 May 2009 16:15:58 +0000

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.) I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

related: How Berkeley

Wet laundry’s a bitch

Kerry — Wed, 28 May 2008 15:45:42 +0000

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

News you can use

Kerry — Sun, 25 May 2008 18:07:27 +0000

The word “newsflash,” like the phrase “no offense,” is an early indicator that what follows is probably going to be something pretty bitchy. Unless, of course, you’re watching TV news, in which case the word “newsflash” more likely heralds the announcement of a hard-hitting segment about the household product in your kitchen that could be killing your children. Either way: proceed with caution.

Exhibit a) from roommate to roommate, Chicago

Exhibit b) from mother to daughter, Irving, Texas

Exhibit c) the pointed use of song lyrics in a Facebook status update

Exhibit d) stating the obvious

The fruitcake’s in the mail

Kerry — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 04:01:11 +0000

“Not long before I left my previous job writing reviews of video games, I got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game I didn’t exactly care for,” Alex says. “Game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one does.”

I used to be your biggest fan

kerry — Mon, 03 Dec 2007 19:13:25 +0000

Derek and his bandmates in the Grand rapids, Michigan rock/metal band Charles the Osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.

Unlike the unwilling participants in Improv Rverywhere’s “best gig ever,” Charles the Osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. Writes Derek: “The funniest part is that she says nothing about the songwriting, which is obviously what she really hated, but rather talks about our lack of talent!”

(Sorry, would-be prank callers: it’s a non-working number.)

Gossip boy

kerry — Sun, 02 Dec 2007 17:16:05 +0000

Our anonymous submitter in San Diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “It’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. He’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. It’s bound to get around, ya know?”

Adds our submitter: “There’s no safe way to respond to a passive-aggressive text, so I haven’t.”

related: Recipe for roommate discord