Entries Tagged as 'sarcasm'

Governor of California to State Senate: “Get Stuffed.”

October 2nd, 2011 · 43 Comments

Well played, Jerry Brown.

To the Members of the California State Senate: I am signing SB 769 which allows for a dead mountain lion to be stuffed and displayed.  This presumably important bill earned overwhelming support by both Republicans and Democrats. If only that same energetic bipartisan spirit could be applied to creating clean energy jobs and ending tax laws that send jobs out of state. Sincerely, Edmund G. Brown Jr.

related: We hope you enjoy these jobs…because we paid for them!

extra credit: “Look at that antelope driving a car!” [via thinkprogress.com]

Tags: California · most popular notes of 2011 · politics · sarcasm

There’s no “I” in Sarcasm

May 25th, 2011 · 28 Comments

“Every week there seems to be a new note in the office kitchen repeating the exact same thing,” says chenry in Canada. “Lately they’ve been threatening to throw away the dishes if you leave them in the sink, but they never do that either.”

(click the image below to enlarge)

Moving forward...any dishes left in the dish rack or sink overnight will be thrown out.

“Now someone’s added his own sign taking the piss out of the rest.”

Moving forward we will need more signs regarding the proper care and placement of dishes. Repeating details of how and when to use the dish rack will be crucial to our ongoing success as a floor. We can do this with everyone pitching in! Thank you, The Pulp & Paper Industry

related: You want clip art? Oh, we’ll give you clip art.

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Canada · dishes · in the name of teamwork · kitchen · sarcasm

To whom that wanted my cat bot

February 6th, 2011 · 254 Comments

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound, Thank you...Now I can't afford to post bail to get my cat out of kitty jail. Sorry she didn't have her collar on but I have bot [sic] her six of them already. And she hates them and she likes to some how get them off outside. I tried to keep her from the front but she liked all the attention. It's ok tho, My cat was the only thing I trusted and loved. Way to be an outstanding citizen.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

Says Elisa in Seattle:

related: Cat fight!

Tags: cats · money · MYOB · neighbors · Oregon · rebuttals · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Warning: Beware of banana peels, falling anvils, and wet paint

November 16th, 2010 · 54 Comments

“I’m sure they didn’t actually paint the toilet seats,” says Brett in Syracuse. And yet, he says, when he saw this sign posted by a former co-worker, “I couldn’t stop laughing about the idea that that’s what got her.”

Thank you for the sign stating there would be wet paint in the bathroom! (Yes! This IS passive aggressive!)

Perhaps a few signs like this (as spotted by Madeline at her university’s art studio) would have made for a proper rebuttal?

I'm not sure if this is wet

Maybe you should touch it.  That's what you do with wet paint, right?

related: Ceci n’est pas une note passif-agressif

Tags: bathroom · college life · meta · office · sarcasm · smartass · thanks (but not really)

And your mosaic sucks

May 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments

Anybody else in the mood for a no-holds-barred, batshit-crazy tirade? ’Cause I sure am! Pretty much the only thing remotely “passive” about this message — which Jared in Seattle found taped to the front entrance of his share house  — is the fact that it was delivered by note, rather than say, by fist.

The note writer takes a little while here to build up steam, but manages to get in at least one solidly below-the-belt jab before spiraling into a CAPS LOCK-induced rage blackout.

related: Worst secret admirer ever?

Tags: fuck fuckity fuck fuck · money · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really) · WTF?

¡Bienvenido! Mi casa no es su casa.

April 21st, 2010 · 183 Comments

“I pass this billboard every day on my way home from work,” says our submitter from Tennessee. “Apparently, some tax breaks were given for Volkswagen to build a plant here in Chattanooga, which will eventually bring thousands of jobs to this area. This group is upset that not EVERYONE who is involved in constructing the plant was born in the United States.”

Tennessee welcomes all the workers from OTHER COUNTRIES who are building the Volkswagen plant.   We hope you enjoy those jobs...BECAUSE WE PAID FOR THEM!

A side note from Ana in Guatemala (fifth flag from the left): “Guatemala is a very beautiful — albeit dangerous — country. Crime rates are through the roof, but in this small American-run inn, hope prevails…mostly.”

BIENVENIDO WELCOME Please leave your your bags here.. They are 99.9% safe BUT... We do not accept responsibility

related: America the not-so-beautiful

Tags: "customer service" · casual xenophobia · Espanol · Guatemala · politics · sarcasm · Tennessee

An e-mail from my arteries

January 19th, 2010 · 66 Comments

Filching someone’s McDonald’s coupons…the “aggressive” flipside of the passive-aggressive offering of coupons for fitness DVDs?

“The person who sent this e-mail is actually a great and very well-liked individual at my place of work,” our submitter says. (Assuming, I guess, that one doesn’t come between him and his Egg McMuffins.)

I really have you have a great day...

related: sympathy for the devil

extra credit: Shaking things up at Dairy Queen

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Canada · ellipses-crazed · guilt trip · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)

A “sincere” apology

May 7th, 2009 · 371 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter in San Francisco: “I spotted this on the sidewalk on my way to work. (It wasn’t obviously attached to anything, just laying there.)  I realize parking in SF is a real nightmare, with driveways every .03 inches, but come on!

Sincerely, your hardworking neighbor

related: How Berkeley

Tags: car · parking · San Francisco · sarcasm

There will come soft pains

July 7th, 2008 · 239 Comments

This bit of poetry is brought to us by Alex in Vancouver, an innocent observer on the scene.

Words cannot express how thankful I am for waking me up this morning. I forgot to set my alarm and would have slept in until at least ten otherwise. How did you know that I really wanted to get up at five-thirty? Do either of you have ESP? If so, you should definitely make use of your talent. Also, how did you know that I had grown tired of the peaceful sound of the rain? I haven't told anyone. Listening to you argue about how drunk Jim was, making food loudly, running around the house, and crinkling a plastic wrapper for what may have been an hour completely pushed the sound of rain from my ears! Huzzah! If only you were around now, the damned rain is back and the fridge isn't loud enough. So again, many thanks to you both for a most wonderful pre-dawn.

Tags: drizzunk · noise · roommates · sarcasm · sleeping · thanks (but not really) · Vancouver

Wet laundry’s a bitch

May 28th, 2008 · 212 Comments

Spotted by Anna on the wall of an apartment complex in Phoenix…

Enjoy your yeast infection! :)

Meanwhile, in Ottawa…it’s comforting to know that even when Mom isn’t there to do your laundry, she can still help you guilt-trip your neighbors.

To the person who rudely took my laundry out of this dryer and tossed it in a damp pile on the dirty shelf, I'm terrible sorry that your laundry had to wait the 5 mins it was taking me to come downstairs to remove my own laundry from the dryer. I'll tell my mom next time she shouldn't call me during laundry time as someone, such as yourself, may have to wait a few mins longer for the machine. I'm aware of the fact that there are only 2 machines for the entire building but give me a break - how rude can you possiblt be? Perhaps maybe in the future we can work out a time schedule so that my meger [sic] clothing doesn't interfere with your clearly superior laundry. Thanks for that.  P.S. I was planning on allowing my stuff to COMPLETELY dry and put more $ in the machine but your needs come first, I understand.

related: I wiped between my legs with those towels!

Tags: guilt trip · karma's a bitch · laundry · Moms & Dads · Ottawa · p.s. · Phoenix · sarcasm · thanks (but not really) · TL;DR