Entries Tagged as 'sarcasm'

The fruitcake’s in the mail

April 15th, 2008 · 99 Comments

“Not long before I left my previous job writing reviews of video games, I got this little gem from someone involved in the production of a game I didn’t exactly care for,” Alex says. “Game-makers bitching about reviews is nothing new, but rarely do they do it with as much sarcastic flair as this one does.”

the fruitcake's in the mail

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

Tags: apostrophe abuse · e-mail · holiday spirit · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

I used to be your biggest fan

December 3rd, 2007 · 69 Comments

Derek and his bandmates in the Grand rapids, Michigan rock/metal band Charles the Osprey were in the middle of a post-set smoke when the club’s bartender came outside, grinning ear-to-ear, and handed them this note.

Unlike the unwilling participants in Improv Rverywhere’s “best gig ever,” Charles the Osprey seem to be taking the attention in stride. Writes Derek: “The funniest part is that she says nothing about the songwriting, which is obviously what she really hated, but rather talks about our lack of talent!”

Band #1 — Thanks for playing tonight. I really enjoyed your obvious lack of musical talent. It also really helps to play your bad music really, really, low! Give me a call sometime. Meghan 6168418159

(Sorry, would-be prank callers: it’s a non-working number.)

related: You know he only became a dj to get girls

Tags: Grand Rapids · Michigan · music · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

Gossip boy

December 2nd, 2007 · 46 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in San Diego got this text message from a friend, explaining: “It’s in reference to him hooking up with one of my friends on my couch. He’s hooked up with three of my friends to date. It’s bound to get around, ya know?”

So I am so glad my drunk outings with you turn into great stories you share with EVERYONE

Adds our submitter: “There’s no safe way to respond to a passive-aggressive text, so I haven’t.”

related: Recipe for roommate discord

Tags: drizzunk · frenemies · San Diego · sarcasm · sex sex sex · text message

Who are you calling OCD?

November 8th, 2007 · 147 Comments

This just in: starving unborn children aren’t the only casualties of office fridge lunch thievery. As one anonymous New Yorker reports, now the sick and the infirm are being picked off, too!

To the person who took it upon themselves to clean out the 12th floor fridge: Thank you so much for your initiative!

(Thank you kindly? Best wishes? Hungry on the 12th floor, you kill me.)

Tags: cleaning · exclamation-point happy!!!! · food · guilt trip · ital overkill · New York · office fridge · questionable logic · rhetorical question · sarcasm · thanks (but not really)

No sarcasm left behind

September 27th, 2007 · 195 Comments

Our anonymous contributor works part-time at a large, “troubled” high school in Milwaukee. Today, while making some copies, she found this anonymous wonder.

To: Staff Re: Hallways during lunch hours Do not expect the hallways to improve during lunch hours under the current administration. It's been going on for 3 years and is not about to change anytime soon. Do you wonder why you never see the Principal in the halls? I guess it's better to be blind to the situation that to have to come up with a policy to improve the conditions. Now let's get those test scores up and forget about school climate. Forget about low morale and a good working environment — get those test scores up! P.S. And don't forget to give you advocacy kids a BIG HUG today and everyday [sic]!

Tags: Milwaukee · office · raging against the machine · sarcasm · schools & teachers

Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments

Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.

If you are going to drink my muscle milk, why dont you go ahead and drink all, there is no point to drink part of it and leave behind about 1/3 of the bottle...  IN OTHER WORDS...DON'T DRINK IT!, BUT I WILL FIND OUT WHO DRINK IT WHEN I SEE YOU ACTING STRANGE...read the content before u become steril.....thanks.

What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”

related: Try a bite

Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing

No, that’s not the British spelling

September 24th, 2007 · 128 Comments

“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”

Dear pizza theif [sic], I hope you enjoyed those two slices of Dominoes pizza. I did. It was so nice in fact I kept it in the fridge to enjoy. So it was to my surprise to find those slices missing the next day. My mum bought me that pizza — but I guess you must have been in dire hunger to eat my food. In that case, that's alright. At least you cleaned the side plate afterwards. But I will still kill you. Craig.

Tags: fridge · guilt trip · not-so-veiled threats · pizza · roommates · sarcasm · Scotland · spelling and grammar police · stealing

The farewell email to end all farewell emails

August 27th, 2007 · 163 Comments

All I can say is…wow.

the farewell email to end all farewell emails

(click to enlarge!)

Tags: art · most popular notes of 2007 · New York · office · oh snap · raging against the machine · sarcasm · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Did you ever consider the possibility that…oh, never mind.

August 9th, 2007 · 71 Comments

did you consider the possibility that...oh, never mind.

Tags: California · e-mail · food · mold · office · questionable logic · San Francisco · sarcasm

Rules for thieves

August 1st, 2007 · 23 Comments

“Apparently our growing satellite office has some food thieves,” says an anonymous submitter in Ontario.

Rules for thieves

Tags: Canada · e-mail · food · office · office fridge · Ontario · reverse psychology · sarcasm · stealing