Writes our submitter in California: “Our custodial staff is very careful about not throwing stuff away just because it looks like trash. This co-worker wanted to make sure the right things got thrown away, but might have gotten a little overly specific.”

The result? “An onion of confusion and garbage.”

related: Hey, that garbage was important!

Stephanie in Las Vegas says this exchange started out as a sugary-sweet back-and-forth love-fest between initiated by her husband, Brian. Then, one day, Stephanie says, “Brian woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and his alter ego took over.” What a charmer, that Brian!

Not to worry, though— it was all in jest, and no women or toasters were harmed in the making of this note. In fact, Stephanie says, “It totally made my day.” And as far the unplugging the toaster thing goes, she says, “We kinda have an OCD thing about the chance of burning the house down…don’t ask.”

related: I’m calling to report a case of toaster abuse?

extra credit: Knock Knock Fill-in-the-Blank Passive-Aggressive Note Pad

“In college,” Sandy writes, “I shared a house with a motley group of roomies. When it was time for me to graduate, my super-kooky roommate suggested I send her parents a graduation announcement because they had liked me a lot (having met me once, for a few hours) and would feel insulted if I didn’t send them an announcement. I had a few left over, so I did.”  A while later came this response – not passive-aggressive per se, but a little, well…

Adds Sandy: “The assumption of my attempt to grub money coupled with the cheerfully airy tone really speaks volumes about the environment in which my old roomie grew up. (Incidentally, she DID spell my name right.)”

P.S. Yes, that’s $25, not $125.

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

On a recent road trip around southern Maine, Noelle and her friends Hilary and Misha spotted this puzzling little note posted in the back of a gas station convenience store.

When they left, Noelle says, “The manager ran after us, screaming, ‘What were you girls doing, taking pictures of my store like that?!’” Noelle and her friends fessed up, explaining that they thought the note to Pat was funny, is all. The manager’s reply: “Oh, Pat! Soon as we put up that sign, he quit! That was five years ago. Haven’t seen him since! We just haven’t gotten around to taking the sign down yet.

related: all your baristas are belong to us
extra credit: “laundrymat”

“My dear, sweet grandmother lived a long, full life and passed away recently at the age of 88,” writes Mark in Denton, Texas, but he still has the valentine his “Memaw” sent him back in 2005, during his freshman year of college.

Before the cockles of your heart get too warmed, however, take note: says Mark, “What appears at first glance to be an innocent, heartfelt valentine turned out to contain a message that pretty much sums up how she felt about me going to college a whole hour-and-a-half away, rather than the crappy local college…because apparently, that was my way of saying that my home and family just weren’t important to me.”

On behalf of Jewish grandmas everywhere…Happy Rosh Hashanah, everyone!

related: Why is it on this night we’re like, allowed to eat carbs?

Tom from Cambridge, England spotted this notice posted in “the tiniest little toilet in my college hall” — so tiny, he says, there’s “barely enough room to fit a dog in there if you tried.” (But a few raw steaks? Perhaps!)

(Massive Canine Infestation: sharing the stage with The Light Brown Apple Moth Debacle at a Warped Tour show near you!)

related: So many questions

Spotted by Weston in the back room of a Dallas Starbucks…the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!

(Add one pump “disgruntled English Lit Ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)

related: An extra bold request

extra credit: Starbucks gossip

This note represents pretty much everything about office culture that makes me cringe. Appropriately enough, I can’t even bring myself to call out the specifics — it’s just too overwhelming. (But the sign will always be there…every day, taunting me.)

Julie spotted this amazing note on New York’s Lower East Side…

(Dude, how ominous are those ellipses?)

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)