Entries Tagged as 'scooters & mopeds'

NEWS ALERT: Dark alley not the safest place to store your personal belongings

August 3rd, 2010 · 92 Comments

Okay, dude, I really don’t want to kick you while you’re down — getting your scooter stolen definitely sucks. (Also, based on the rage level in your note, I think you’d probably kick back pretty hard.) And yet…I’m not really buying your framing of this as some kind of public service announcement.

For one thing, I’m guessing that if you took a poll of your neighbors (including Alex, our submitter) and asked, “Hey, did you know that if you leave your personal property in this alley, it could get stolen?!” I’m pretty sure most would respond with someone along the lines of, “Uh, no shit.” Just sayin’.

This Alley is a Magnet for Thieves! People steal shit out of this alley all the time! If you leave your shit in the alley IT WILL BE STOLEN! THIS IS A FUCKED UP NEIGHBORHOOD! Some asshole stripped down all the parts off of my two scooters! They stole over $1000 worth of parts! Why would you steal my scooter parts?  YOU'RE A FUCKING FILTHY THIEF! Congratulations on your fucked up life! Your mother raised a great child! Your parents are some special people!

related: Paintball punk is playing at my house (my house)

Tags: Denver · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · not so much passive-aggressive · scooters & mopeds · stealing

Next on thieves with low self-esteem…

June 9th, 2008 · 140 Comments

Terri in D.C. found this sign-bedecked scooter outside her apartment hilarious for three reasons. First off, “the fact that one of those little squirrely-looking scooter guys got out his most aggressive art supply and wrote ‘fuck off and die’ to a stranger.”

Second, she says: “I live between two churches, a library, an elementary school, and a high school. Classy place to curse at passersby!” And the best part, says Terri? “The neighborhood I live in in D.C. is named Mount Pleasant.”

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE THIEF...YOU HAVE FAILED YOURSELF LOSER!!!

Who knew scooter owners had such filthy mouths? 2

Who knew scooter owners had such filthy mouths? 4

Either steal it or leave it the fuck alone DON'T BE A BITCH -Owner

related: Nice try

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · D.C. · die bitch die · irregular capitalization · questionable logic · scooters & mopeds · stealing

Nice try

October 29th, 2007 · 203 Comments

Lanqui spotted this note on a moped that was locked to a street sign in Greenwich Village. That bit of orange there? Yup, that would be a ticket.

To parking cop:  This is a moped, not a motorcycle. This engine is smaller than that of a scooter's even (think vespa). Therefore it should be fine to lock up on the sidewalk.

Tags: excessive underlining · New York · parking · raging against the machine · scooters & mopeds · that's illegal · the po-po · woulda shoulda coulda