“My office just got a new style of paper which has caused quite the stir,” says our submitter in Seattle. “It’s made from forested trees, or something like that, so obviously we can’t wait to use it.”
Entries Tagged as 'Seattle'
November 2nd, 2010 · 78 Comments
A clue that your whole “half-caf, extra hot, non-fat dressing-on-the-side” thing might be a bit much
September 23rd, 2010 · 94 Comments
“Perhaps I was a bit too particular about what I wanted when I ordered my salad at lunch,” admits Daniel in Seattle. “I found this when I pulled it out of my bag back at the office.”
And from the Athens, Ohio Dept. of Disgruntled Baristas…
related: Have it your way, jerk
August 30th, 2010 · 72 Comments
In one of my clearest memories of first grade, I distinctly remember my teacher telling us, on the first day of school, that the bathroom in the back of the classroom was only for emergencies. For non-emergencies, we’d have to wait until lunchtime. In my six-year-old mind, however, “emergency” meant only one thing: “throwing up.” And so, when I had to go, I held it. And held it. Until…well, I wasn’t holding it anymore.
That’s right: It actually took wetting my pants for me to learn that the word “emergency” means very different things to different people — a concept some people apparently still haven’t figured out.
It’s unclear, for example, what might constitute a “citrus emergency” at this Pleasanton, California optometrist’s office. (Perhaps a masochistic mandarin peeling itself?)
You might think people would be a little more precise in their language on a military base. At Arizona’s Fort Huachuca, you’d only be about half right.
At Gustavo’s new office building in Seattle, it only took about a week — and about a bazillion false alarms— before someone decided a little clarification was necessary. (Sorta sounds like something you’d expect from a classroom of first-graders, no?)
Meanwhile, Andrew in Cirencester, England only noticed this sign after pushing open one of his office’s alarmed fire doors (triggering a sudden and unforeseen occurrence — i.e., ear-shattering noise).
related: Gee, thanks for the clarification
June 28th, 2010 · 70 Comments
Jane in Boston says this note appeared on Tomio’s bedroom door, at cat’s-eye level. “Given that I’m pretty sure cats can’t read, it’s the ultimate passive-aggressive sentiment,” Jane says, “but a cat shitting on your bed is pretty passive aggressive, too. What a tangled web we weave.”
Meanwhile, a submitter in Cornwall, England spotted this note (again, at pet’s-eye level) on the front door of a house. “It was unclear what the dog had done, how the notewriter expected the dog to read this, or how ‘Diane’ was filming the dog,” our submitter says. “There was no sign of a camera.”
And yet, it’s this commandment —posted by a neighbor of Marissa in San Francisco — that tickles me the most.
UPDATE: A bonus note (via Anthonio in Seattle), from…Dirt.
June 3rd, 2010 · 80 Comments
“If you want respect,” barked the Daddy tree, “you gotta earn it. Show ‘some freakin’ acorns!”
“But Daaaaaaad,” whined the trembling young sapling. “I just…I just want to be beautiful!”
“What is this, a goddamn Shel Silverstein book? Quit your birching already.”
But as Michael in Seattle observed, at least one of those sad little trees wasn’t about to let his bully of a father have the last word.
related: The right to bear fruit
May 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments
Anybody else in the mood for a no-holds-barred, batshit-crazy tirade? ’Cause I sure am! Pretty much the only thing remotely “passive” about this message — which Jared in Seattle found taped to the front entrance of his share house — is the fact that it was delivered by note, rather than say, by fist.
The note writer takes a little while here to build up steam, but manages to get in at least one solidly below-the-belt jab before spiraling into a CAPS LOCK-induced rage blackout.
related: Worst secret admirer ever?
November 30th, 2009 · 206 Comments
Exhibit A, as seen by an anonymous submitter in Seattle?
…or exhibit B, as spotted by Mitch in Goldendale, Washington?
related: And God knows what
July 16th, 2009 · 140 Comments
Let me stop you right there. Before you say anything else, have you consulted this sign, as spotted on the door of a souvenir shop by Angie in Seattle?
Or this one, as seen by Meghann outside a bar in San Francisco?
Well, then your questions will certainly be answered by my personal favorite, spotted by Jessie at a sandwich shop in Charlottesville, Virginia:
June 17th, 2009 · 106 Comments
Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”
This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.
related: Hello kancer!
June 5th, 2009 · 241 Comments
Writes Mike in Seattle: “I work in a large in-house call center for a giant of the aerospace industry. My office has 50 to 75 technical support folks, many of whom can be somewhat…less than hygienic. Following a rash of uncharacteristically hot days, this note showed up in the mens’ room, accompanied by a bottle of Axe.”