Entries Tagged as 'Seattle'

Ain’t that the gospel truth?

March 11th, 2009 · 102 Comments

Chris says this note was slipped under his apartment door  by one of his “typically passive-aggressive Seattle neighbors.” And no, he adds, he hadn’t noticed. Perhaps because the door was lacking in aggressively punctuated parenthetical statements!! (Homeowners dues??)

Hey Neighbors! Notice the front door isn't closing on its own? (It's been a few weeks!!) Anyone can walk in off the street! (Rape, Burgle, Murder!) Maybe somebody should have it looked at!! (homeowner's dues...) Can we please try to make sure the door stays closed??

Personally, I am just luuurving the nice little call-and-response rhythm this note has got goin’ on. I eagerly await the OutKast “Rape Burgle Murder” remix!(!!)

related: Everyone: shut it

Tags: confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · neighbors · opening/closing · Seattle · You call that punctuation?

A trivial mistake

February 11th, 2009 · 46 Comments

Cate and her brother play trivia at a bar in Seattle once or twice a month, and Cate’s brother usually invites Shelby, a friend from college. Last week, he “forgot” to invite her, but — AWKWARD! — she was at the bar that night anyway.

“Shelby wrote this little gem on a napkin and had someone deliver it to our table,” Cate says. “I’m leaving it up to my brother to decide if this earns her an invite to our next game.”

Sam - I know you are here & didn't invite me. Jerk. -Shelby

related: desperately seeking closure

Tags: "forgot" · frenemies · Oops? · Seattle

Art depreciation

February 2nd, 2009 · 256 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “They know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.

About the art-work we're finding around here — It's hard for us to believe that it's not cutting into work production time. Though it is nice artwork, let's focus on having a nice store :)

related: Just a friendly reminder [you hussy you!] ;)

Tags: a little patronizing · art · now that's management · retail hell · Seattle · smiley

Panty raid!

January 14th, 2009 · 104 Comments

Caitlin at Ontario College didn’t write this note, but she feels for the person who did — she and four friends on her floor also had panties go missing from the dorm laundry room. “The thief seemed to particularly prefer black thongs,” she says. (Unlike the notewriter, however, they don’t necessarily want them back.)

Whoever Keeps Steeling [sic] Panties form the Dryers PLEASE STOP!! AND BRING THEM BACK!!!

Since then, however, it seems the thief may have (ahem) moved south of the border. The female residents of Alexis’s apartment building in Seattle are now facing a similar problem.

ATTENTION ALL RESIDENTS...I'VE RECEIVED CALLS ABOUT MISSING GIRLS UNDER GARMENTS AND IF CAUGHT WILL BE EVICTED!!!! HAVE SPIES WATCHING!!!!

And then…well, then there’s Japan. Jason spotted this note in Tokyo when he was staying there a few years back. Unfortunately, he never got the whole story, but that might be for the best.

To whoever stole 4 pairs of my underwear off the roof: You are one sick fucking individual. How fucking pathetic that you can't afford your own so you go and steal mine. Enjoy the crabs & bad karma you piece of shit.

related: Are you there, Margaret?

extra credit: Panty thief busted, then busted up [the smoking gun]
Panty thief jailed for laundry larceny [msnbc]

Tags: Canada · college life · kinda creepy · laundry · Ontario · Seattle · sex sex sex · stealing · Tokyo · WTF?

And all the pieces matter

October 28th, 2008 · 88 Comments

“If it wasn’t for the handwriting,” says Lauren in California, “I would have guessed my mom wrote it.”

Meanwhile, Carson in Valencia found this note (crudely laminated with packing tape) attached to a tree while walking his dog in the park. “Maybe next time Maggie will think twice about leaving her ceramic cats unattended,” he says.

And in Seattle…

Hey! Those pots were not FREE! give them back!

“In the pot-snatcher’s defense, people leave furniture and the like on the street all over this area of town as acts of charity, so it definitely would have been an easy mistake for anyone to make,” Josef says, adding: “When I took this picture, the homeowner was glaring at me from the garage the whole time. Bad vibes, man.”

related: Neighborhood Crazy-Watch

Tags: apostrophe abuse · California · CAPS LOCK · comma diarrhea · emdash overboard · garbage · neighbors · rhetorical question · Seattle · You call that punctuation? · you know who you are

Fight or flight

July 28th, 2008 · 196 Comments

In terms of the appropriate sympathetic nervous system response, an e-mail subject line like “big favor” is kinda the modern cubicle-dweller’s equivalent of “Saber-tooth tiger outside cave!”

To the South side of the office, If you are wearing a perfume or cologne or whatever it is - I had to run to the bathroom to vomit - I will tremendously Appreciate if you minimize wearing it. Thank you so much.  I was going to ask you since last week but I cannot stand it anymore. Thank you.

(Note: this e-mail, our Seattle-area submitter says, is from the very same person who brought us this.)

related: Perhaps it’s time for a little group therapy?

Tags: all-staff e-mail · irregular capitalization · odor · office · oh no you didn't · Seattle · thanks (but not really) · vomit

The parking class

May 22nd, 2008 · 70 Comments

This lovely little exchange from Seattle comes to us via the ever-brilliant Dan Savage at The Stranger. It reads a bit like a “SAHM vs. WOHM” face-off on Urbanbaby, with blessedly fewer acronyms.

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(More backstory and larger versions of the photos over at the slog.)

related: There’s Hertz…and there’s “not exactly”

Tags: neighbors · oh snap · parking · Seattle

The more you know

May 15th, 2008 · 172 Comments

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

Point of interest: The barista who cleans this restroom also makes your coffee. Their mood determines the quality of your coffee. Thanks! P.S. Please don't do drugs in here.

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there’d be no books”

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · cranky barista · drugs · high on highlighter · p.s. · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

it’s not, like, rocket science

October 25th, 2007 · 124 Comments

aarwenn from seattle found this note in her office’s cafeteria, which she says is a hot spot for bad writers with passive-aggressive issues. “of course,” she says, “here at Large Aerospace Company, a lot of us have ‘issues.’”

Tags: fun with euphemism · garbage · just wondering · office · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Just in case you didn’t catch the sarcasm…

September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments

Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.

If you are going to drink my muscle milk, why dont you go ahead and drink all, there is no point to drink part of it and leave behind about 1/3 of the bottle...  IN OTHER WORDS...DON'T DRINK IT!, BUT I WILL FIND OUT WHO DRINK IT WHEN I SEE YOU ACTING STRANGE...read the content before u become steril.....thanks.

What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”

related: Try a bite

Tags: all-staff e-mail · CAPS LOCK · Comic Sans Alert · ellipses-crazed · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · stealing