Entries Tagged as 'old folks'

DON’T STOP (being old and cranky)

December 7th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Kids today!!!

[STOP] That means YOU young man in the blue Subaru and turn the music down

(Thanks to Robyn from Durango, Colorado for the submission.)

related: Roommate wanted…NO OLDS!!!

Tags: Colorado · driving · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · old folks

Grandpas can guilt-trip, too!

May 19th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Dara’s birthday is coming up, and her grandpa sent her this card. (Explains Dara: “He calls birthdays ‘anniversaries’ because ‘you only have one birth day.’) Nice, huh? And we haven’t even gotten to the guilt-trippy part yet.

“He lives in Florida and I live in upstate New York.” Dara says. “I went to visit my parents in NYC a few weeks ago and he chose to visit them the day after I left. Somehow that’s my fault.”

Hi Dara. Happy Anniversary. We don't see enough of each other but I guess that can't be helped. All my love GrandPa

related: Don’t worry, I’m alive. Not that you’d care. I’m only your mother!

Tags: Binghamton · birthday · family · guilt trip · New York · old folks · signed with love

Oh Grandpa, you tell the funniest bedtime stories!

April 12th, 2011 · 65 Comments

Hannah spotted this gem above the sink of dirty dishes in her San Francisco office.

Someday when you're wondering why you're alone and society has all but crumbled around you, you'll think back to the dishes you left in the sink and you'll say

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!!

Tags: dishes · guilt trip · kids today · most popular notes of 2011 · San Francisco · TL;DR

Roommate wanted: NO OLDS!

March 27th, 2011 · 49 Comments

To the genius in Illinois who posted this want ad: if your experience interviewing random would-be roommates hasn’t convinced you already, our archives provides ample proof than “bitchy” is far from synonymous with “old.”

Roommate Needed ASAP No Old people please I don't need a bitchy old roommate. lv. message 450 per mo.

related: Snowed in? Come meet your neighbors! (Unless you’re like, old.)

Tags: Illinois · old folks · roommates

Dear Grandma: Thanks for saving me the trouble of sending you a thank-you note by writing one yourself.

March 3rd, 2011 · 178 Comments

Explains Megan: “My grandmother is extremely particular about her grandchildren when it comes to writing letters, especially handwritten thank-you notes. (My cousins and I often spend family events comparing the consequences we’ve endured for taking too long to mail the proper correspondence.)”

Megan recently moved, so she didn’t get around to sending Grandma a heartfelt thank you for her Valentine’s gift as quickly as usual. Instead, she got beaten to the punch. Within a week and a half of Valentine’s Day, this postcard (from guess who?) showed up in Megan’s mailbox.

Written on a postcard addressed TO Megan:

related: P.S. Do you they teach you thank notes at school?

Tags: etiquette · Grandma · old folks · thanks (but not really)

An old dog, up to the same old tricks

January 12th, 2011 · 116 Comments

One day, says Nancy in Arizona, her dad was getting in his car during his lunch break from Lowe’s (the home-improvement big-box store), when he found this note tucked into his door frame.

“He was surprised,” Nancy says, but instead of taking the contrarian approach, dear old Dad decided to humor the person and move his car one spot over. At the end of the day, he actually got a glimpse of the notewriter — a “rather old lady” who works as the store’s phone operator.

“We spent a lot of time discussing her possible reasons for wanting that specific parking spot back,” Nancy says — especially given that it doesn’t seem to have any particular advantage over the other 500 or so spots in the lot — but in the end, they just had to laugh.

I've parked in this space since 2002 I'd like my space back if you don't mind. Thank you

related: I’m gonna say this in the nicest way possible: don’t park in my spot.

Tags: Arizona · old folks · painfully polite · parking

The Mad Hatter’s Tea Party Rules

December 5th, 2010 · 44 Comments

Our submitter spotted this amazing stream-of-consciousness manifesto inside a small tea shop in Hertfordshire, U.K. “I especially like the lack of punctuation, constantly shifting tone, and preachy generalizations,” she says. “Apparently it’s not enough to simply request that customers wipe their feet or use a trash can — it’s necessary to subject them to a generational guilt trip as well.”

No Muddy Boots - Switch off mobile phones - Keep young Children Seated  What ever next!!!  It is worth reminding ourselves why it is we feel compelled to introduce restrictions and notices of any sort on our customers.  We can assure you that we would rather not!!!  The problem seems to be that we as a society we appear to have less respect for each other than in previous generations.  For example should it really be necessary to have a rule banning people from walking through the tearoom in muddy boots or to request mobile phone be switched off or to have a notice for the Ladies Loo -  Apparently so............  Ladies, PLEASE Use the Sanitary Disposal Bags for relevant items And place in the green bin that has been provided for this sole purpose  DO NOT Flush the disposable bag or any other item that has not gone through your system down our Old and very sensitive system!!!  (Its just not nice - the exception being the loo paper)  Perhaps we should simply have a customer code of conduct that reminds every one to consider others at all times

related: That must be some damn good coffee…

Tags: "customer service" · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids today · now that's management · restaurant · U.K.

This Christmas, give the gift of honesty

November 30th, 2010 · 93 Comments

While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”

12-22-88  Here is a present for you.. I'm not certain just which brand you smoke but I think that after 35 years of sneaking, lying, cheating, stealing you can try to be honest about this.  Don't sneak it any more -- I really don't give a damn if you smoke a carton a day and as a matter of fact if you will return the empty I will buy you another -- and if you have a preference let me know as these were $1.50 each. If it will hurry along the process I am all for it but don't expect me to do for your whaty you did for your mother -- get Connie to do it...

related:  I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · love & marriage · old folks · smoking

The neighborhood warning wagon

September 28th, 2010 · 157 Comments

Upon moving into their new college house this fall, Danny and his roommates at Boston College received this delightfully punctuated welcome letter from their next door neighbor — delivered via U.S. Postal Service, no less.

I, for one, can’t wait ’til the Ben Affleck adaptation comes out. We’ll have a “late night beer party” to celebrate!

Welcome to our neighborhood, I just wanted to let you know, that your house has been over the years had really bad police reports on late nigh beer parties! (10 PM to almost all night) Please keep in mind that this neighborhood will not tolerate "late night parties" Which includes: yelling, talking loud on back porches and your back yard and loud friends that visit! Especially this Labor Day Weekend! I understand that you college kids like to drink and have fun, but! After 10 PM if noise is too loud, police will be called, there are alot of elderly, kids and families in this area that will not tolerate this bullshit! I know Bill Mills very well (BC College) and if you guys "act up"! Calls will be made! Please show some respect in our neighborhood and keep the noise level low! If not! Police will be called! Have a good school year and be good neighbors, ok?

(P.S.) THIS INCLUDES

related: Passive voice abuse

Tags: alot · beer · Boston · CAPS LOCK · college life · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · I'm telling on you! · kids today · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · noise · p.s. · passive voice · smiley · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · warning · You call that punctuation?

The most pitiful folk song never written

September 25th, 2010 · 35 Comments

Monica in Iowa City, do-gooder that she is, volunteers with a friendly visiting program at the local senior living center. And while Monica’s no stranger to old folks and their antics, even she was struck by the sight of this heartbreakingly despondent note on one resident’s door.

Why did you Take my Humming Bird? Why did you crumple up my map of Mother Earth?

I couldn’t help but think of poor Snowman, the ill-fated pony from the German petting zoo (and as I see it, kindred spirit to this old lady in Iowa). I picture them kvetching together in heaven someday, asking “Why? Why? Why?” for all eternity.

Why did you feed me to death?

related: The zen koan of a Jewish grandmother

Tags: animal welfare · Iowa · old folks