Entries Tagged as 'old folks'
September 25th, 2010 · 35 Comments
Monica in Iowa City, do-gooder that she is, volunteers with a friendly visiting program at the local senior living center. And while Monica’s no stranger to old folks and their antics, even she was struck by the sight of this heartbreakingly despondent note on one resident’s door.
I couldn’t help but think of poor Snowman, the ill-fated pony from the German petting zoo (and as I see it, kindred spirit to this old lady in Iowa). I picture them kvetching together in heaven someday, asking “Why? Why? Why?” for all eternity.
related: The zen koan of a Jewish grandmother
Tags: animal welfare · Iowa · old folks
So, Jen in Ontario, Canada just moved into a new shared living arrangement…with a 50-something lady. “I thought having an older person as a roommate would more peaceful,” she explains. “Turns out I was wrong.” Communication skills, it seems, aren’t one of those things that necessarily improve with age.
Within a week of moving in, Jen says, there were “helpful instructions” taped up all around the house. After that, the notes just kept coming, accusing Jen of everything from filling the dishwasher with soy sauce to sabotaging the tea kettle — always book-ended by a “Pls” and “Thank you,” of course. Because that’s how mature adults act.
related: The Post-it Wars
Tags: "helpful" advice · blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · dishes · dishwasher · kitchen · laundry · old folks · Ontario · p.s. · roommates
So, Brandon in San Diego had a party, and apparently people stayed out pretty late playing beer pong in the yard — a yard which happens to be just outside the bedroom window of the neighbors, an older couple in their 70s. The morning after, our submitter Mallory says, Brandon woke up to find this taped to his front door.
Final score: Brandon, o. Sweet little old lady, EPIC WIN!
related: My condolences on your birthday
Tags: actually totally reasonable · neighbors · noise · old folks · San Diego
Erin in Arlington, Virginia says this sign appeared in every elevator in her building during the D.C. area’s Snowmaggedon of 2010. “Apparently cabin fever requires drinks…and only people in their 20s and early 30s.”
related: no girls allowed
Tags: neighbors · Northern Virginia · old folks
Joel in Glendale, California was raised in a religious Christian family, and apparently someone let it slip to his grandmother (bless her heart!) that he’s — gasp!— an atheist. Aaaaand…let the backhanded compliments begin!
Dear Joel, I have heard that you say you’re an athesis [sic]. I don’t believe that because you have so many Christian qualities. You are honest, loyal, kind and giving- not to mention handsome and extremely talented. (Now —Those are gifts from God!) Please use this check to have a great New Years day Breakfast.
Adds Joel: “I’d like to point out that she mailed me this check for $20 after I asked her not to send me money and she promised she wouldn’t. Lying isn’t very Christian, Grandma!”
related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)
Tags: a little patronizing · family · Grandma · Jesus · old folks
“I live in a condominium building that is popular with the elderly,” writes our submitter from the Chicagoland area. Recently, he says, the building’s board of managers put copies of this note in everyone’s mailboxes and posted it in the lobby (so guests wouldn’t be spared the details, either.)
Adds our submitter: “I don’t know what’s more inappropriate: losing control of your bowels in the hallway or distributing this memo to all the residents.”
Meanwhile in depressing economic news, Sara in Kansas City, Missouri says her company’s last Christmas party was held in — wait for it — the rec center of a local retirement home. Revelers who stopped by the restroom were greeted with this cheerful reminder of OMG SHOOT ME NOW.
related: Dr. Freud’s Salon Scatologica
Tags: CAPS LOCK · Chicago · disturbingly detailed · old folks · shit · that's disgusting
Writes Ben in Snohomish, Washington: “We visit my aunt the same amount we visit the rest of our extended family, but for some reason she takes it personally that we don’t do so daily. She took the occasion of my son’s 11th birthday to take a shot at us.”
related: my condolences on your birthday
Tags: birthday · family · guilt trip · Jesus · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks · Washington state
While some old folks (and grandmothers in particular) are seasoned masters of the heart-tugging passive-aggressive guilt trip, there’s another breed of blue-hairs who’ve seemingly given up on all the social niceties and instead just give their unfiltered opinion on any subject at hand. their all-purpose excuse, as demonstrated by this example from Tacoma, Washington: “I’m old!”
Yet while this group certainly helps make reading the “letters to the editor” page entertaining, Charity in Westfield, Wisconsin says the “grumpy old crank” routine isn’t quite as amusing when you have to live with one of them.
“I’ve been staying with my grandmother for two months,” Charity says, and “she tells me daily that I stink.” She woke up one morning to find this slightly more polite message….which was not-so-politely attached to toilet seat with packing tape.
related: A day in the life of a crank
Tags: Grandma · old folks
Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.
Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”
related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I guess; How I “did” my grandma
Tags: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Montreal · old folks · signed with love
“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).
I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room. In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”
related: sheena is a paintballer
Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin