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Entries Tagged as 'old folks'

Waiting for the rapture (and/or a thank you note)

November 5th, 2009 · 159 Comments

Writes Ben in Snohomish, Washington: “We visit my aunt the same amount we visit the rest of our extended family, but for some reason she takes it personally that we don’t do so daily. She took the occasion of my son’s 11th birthday to take a shot at us.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: birthday card - waiting for the second coming (and/or a thank you note)

related: my condolences on your birthday

Tags: birthday · family · guilt trip · Jesus · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks · Washington state

Granny doesn’t mess around

November 3rd, 2009 · 81 Comments

While some old folks (and grandmothers in particular) are seasoned masters of the heart-tugging passive-aggressive guilt trip, there’s another breed of blue-hairs who’ve seemingly given up on all the social niceties and instead just give their unfiltered opinion on any subject at hand. their all-purpose excuse, as demonstrated by this example from Tacoma, Washington: “I’m old!”

Oh well, another day

Yet while this group certainly helps make reading the “letters to the editor” page entertaining, Charity in Westfield, Wisconsin says the “grumpy old crank” routine isn’t quite as amusing when you have to live with one of them.

“I’ve been staying with my grandmother for two months,” Charity says, and “she tells me daily that I stink.” She woke up one morning to find this slightly more polite message….which was not-so-politely attached to toilet seat with packing tape.

Granny doesn't mess around

related: A day in the life of a crank

Tags: Grandma · old folks

My condolences on your birthday

September 16th, 2009 · 116 Comments

Daniel is Montreal says his dear grandmother sent him this card in the mail for his birthday. The front of the card (which didn’t scan very well) says: It is not what is visible on the surface but what is deep inside that sustains us.

Well, says Daniel, “that and guilt.”

Hope I get to see the both of you before the year is over. Love, Grandma

related: Dear Grandma — thanks, I guess; How I “did” my grandma

Tags: birthday · Grandma · guilt trip · Montreal · old folks · signed with love

Get your “nozzle” off my “hose”

July 20th, 2009 · 128 Comments

“We’ve had trouble with our downstairs neighbors since we moved in,” says Sara in Madison. “Well, really just one of them, a woman in her fifties.” This neighbor’s most recent dose of crazy appeared in the mailbox Sara shares with her roommate (“Little Buddy,” in crazy lady-speak).

We'd be glad to stop if we knew what the hell you were talking about.

I kinda prefer this note without any explanation whatsoever, but if you’re still craving more, Sara explains…sort of. “I had, in fact, bought and put a nozzle on the outside hose so I could spray down an animal cage. We do not, needless to say, have parties in the laundry room.  In fact, we’ve never had a party, ever, because we’re too afraid of her.”

related: sheena is a paintballer

Tags: CAPS LOCK · crazypants · neighbors · noise · old folks · Wisconsin

Dear Grandma: Thanks, I guess.

July 8th, 2009 · 253 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”

(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

Thanks, I guess.

Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.

Ever-gracious Grandma

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Tags: birthday · Canada · Grandma · martyr complex · Ohio · old folks · p.s. · thanks (but not really) · xoxo

J-school today: from a dying medium to a dead horse

June 4th, 2009 · 119 Comments

This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern‘s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice:  if we were smart, we’d get the hell out of journalism before it was too late. (“Ha ha,” we’d laugh, awkwardly.) It’s somehow reassuring to know that kids today (“kids today!”) are still blithely ignoring their elders to pursue a degree that just might be the most unnecessary in higher education.

But seriously now. At this point, you’re like, “What is this biotch rambling on about? Doesn’t she know I don’t read text longer than 140 characters at a time? Show me the picture, dammit!” And that, young j-schoolers, is the topic of next week’s lecture.

from medill journalism school: put your twitter articles here so you can stop spamming our inboxes

related: the silverware segregationist

extra credit: the twitter explosion [american journalism review]

Tags: Chicago · college life · kids today · thanks (but not really) · xoxo

Perfect for each other

May 14th, 2009 · 204 Comments

I’m having a hard time deciding who in this group of geniuses most deserves a smack in the head first. To make it easier, I’m going to tell myself that Krystal is using some new kind of ironic dialect of homophone-swapping slang. And Jennalyn…well, her name is Jennalyn, and therefore I think it’s safe to assume she’s gotten the short end of the stick so far in life, so she gets a pass. But the other three?

you guys are great together

P.S. Notice the date! (tear)

related: Reason #784 why you should never list your relationship status in your facebook profile

Tags: breakup · ex drama · Facebook · kids today · oh no you didn't

I’ll have u know

May 6th, 2009 · 290 Comments

A busy working mom in Austin, Texas got this little love note on her BlackBerry from her sixteen-year-old son. (Michael is his friend, by the way,  not the craft store.)

I c ur mad

In the end, our submitter adds, he didn’t take the bus after all. Total bluff!

related: friends don’t lie 2 friends

Tags: Austin · e-mail · kids today · Moms & Dads · schools & teachers · signed with love · spelling and grammar police

A day in the life of a crank

April 15th, 2009 · 174 Comments

What to do after you’ve already written your daily letters to the editor, congressman and the local weatherman and you’ve still got hours to go before the early bird buffet? Well, you turn to the classifieds!

Dear gar. sale persons: if you just put out signs, you would have no "early birds." Why advert. in Chronicle then say no early? Don't advert. there. Just put out signs. They'll come - but later. Wear earplugs.

related: Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

Tags: awk abbrev · comma diarrhea · excessive underlining · garage sale · Houston · old folks · unsolicited feedback · You call that punctuation?

Why you should not be Facebook friends with your parents…or grandparents

April 8th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Writes Halley in Idaho: “Yeahhh, that’s my mom and my grandpa right there. (This is what happens when old people join Facebook.)”

Happy Birthday Dad! I'll call you on my way home from school.

Thank you, but you know I don't accept calls from people who are driving because I am afraid it will end in a CRASH.

related: Busted by Facebook
extra credit: Facebook embroidery

Tags: birthday · Facebook · Idaho · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks