Entries Tagged as 'sex sex sex'
Writes our submitter in Texas: “We live on a military installation, where the housing is notoriously small and right on top of each other. We’ve gotten to know our neighbors very well, and the author of this note is most likely someone we consider a good friend.”
Our submitter humble-brags that yes, his wife is incredibly attractive, but insists that her clothing isn’t overtly “sexy” — tank tops and shorts, yes, but not crop tops and hot pants. However, he says, “Since we discovered this on Friday, my wife has taken to wearing baggy t-shirts and sweatpants when she’s out in the yard. I don’t blame her one bit.”
Amping up the creepiness factor, our submitter adds that his wife DOES own a pair of pink shoes – but she’s never worn them outside the house.
related: (Don’t fear) the creeper
Tags: a matter of taste · kinda creepy · military · neighbors · p.s. · sex sex sex · Texas
Melissa in Ontario received this note — attached to a raw chicken breast and wrapped in plastic wrap — pushed through her mail slot several years ago. To this day, she says, “I’ve never been able to figure out what I did that was so horrible/distracting that it ruined the best orgasm of someone’s life and also what raw chicken has to do with it.”
related: Down and dirty down under
Tags: Ontario · sex sex sex · thanks (but not really) · WTF?
Writes James in Newcastle, England: “This weekend my girlfriend, who lives 180 miles away, came to visit me. As you would expect, we got up to the horizontal shuffle. In the morning this note was passed under my door. I am thinking of having it framed.”
related: Your sexy schoolgirl girlfriend is frightening the kittens
Tags: roommates · sex sex sex · U.K.
Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”
(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)
related: WE CAN SEE YOU
Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · painfully polite · Portland · sex sex sex · smiley
Nicola in Edinburgh woke up and opened the shades one morning to discover this message from the flat directly across the street. “After all my flatmates were questioned about what they have been up to last night, we decided it must be the flat next to ours,” she says.
related: The Devil’s Orchestra
Tags: most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · Scotland · sex sex sex
Tags: Calgary · heart · neighbors · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day · xoxo
James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”
“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.
related: “Sweetie, I saw that Walgreens is having a sale on jumbo-sized rubbers, so of course I thought of you!”
Tags: "helpful" advice · Mother-son notes · Oops? · p.s. · sex sex sex · signed with love · U.K. · xoxo
J.T. got a kick out of this permission slip, which his co-worker had to sign before her 17-year-old son was allowed to go the first high school dance of the year. (Apparently “leave room for Jesus” just doesn’t cover it these days.)
I’m loving the concept of “dance detention,” but the name of the high school is really the cherry on top.
related: You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship!
extra credit: The world’s largest dance detention performance [youtube]
Tags: oh the irony · schools & teachers · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police
Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.
I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.
So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)
related: If it’s on Jersey Shore, it’s not coming through the door
Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · crazypants · Jacksonville · most popular notes of 2011 · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · WTF? · your/you're
“First off,” writes submitter, who we’ll call Lorelai, “my parents and I have never, ever, ever had any kind of discussion regarding ANYTHING having to do with sex. Mostly because, well, they are my 60-something-year-old parents. And my father is my preacher.”
Today, Lorelai is a 33-year-old “volleyball-coaching, home-owning, full-time working, Girl-Scout-Troop-leading” mother of a “well-behaved, smart, friendly, athletic, violin-playing” daughter, who happens to be the product of unplanned pregnancy 11 years ago.
“Although it took my parents some time to accept the decision I made to raise her (successfully, so far!) on my own, I thought we had moved on,” our submitter says. “Apparently not. My long-distance, very serious, boyfriend will be visiting in a few days, and I guess they wanted to make their stance clear on the matter, eleven years later.”
Lorelai says the follow-up letter from her Mom clarifying to meaning of the card was even more awkward. Sample excerpt:
I guess our gesture was our way of saying ‘We love you and want you to have a healthy sex life, but be careful, because we don’t want you to be hurt like you were before.’
Adds Lorelai: “Maybe some people have this kind of relationship with their parents, but, well, I definitely don’t.”
related: Happy Valentine’s Day to my son…and the harlot with whom he’s living in sin.
Tags: holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · Ohio · sex sex sex · signed with love · Valentine's Day