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Entries Tagged as 'sex sex sex'

Risky Business

October 11th, 2010 · 73 Comments

Tremaine spotted this note posted in the lobby his Calgary apartment building. I like to imagine it the “lust” stop on Slothful Scotty‘s Seven Deadly Sins Tour.

Apartment 406: Stop calling escorts then not answering your door.

related: Yes, Scotty, this is why you’re fat.

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Calgary · neighbors · sex sex sex

(Don’t Fear) The Creeper

January 3rd, 2010 · 170 Comments

I live in an apartment complex where most people know each other and are generally on good terms,” says Jin in California…or so he thought. As it turns out, there’s a pool of bold-underlined-all-caps-highlighted frustration simmering (oh-so-hilariously) just below the surface.

Hey you! Yes YOU! (The Peeping Tom): If I EVER catch you looking through my window again I swear on everything I hold dear that my cooter will be the last thing your pervy eyes will ever see again.

To the person who saw me peeping at you

related: Be more private with yourself

Tags: bold underlined italics · California · CAPS LOCK · double-entendre alert · high on highlighter · holiday spirit · mistaken identity · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · non-apology apology · not-so-veiled threats · Oops? · rebuttals · sad face · sex sex sex

WiFi for passive-aggressives

December 30th, 2009 · 168 Comments

When even leaving a note is too direct…you folks with wireless networks still named “linksys” or “trendnet” are clearly missing out on a priceless opportunity to piss off your neighbors.

YourDogShitsInMyYard

3rdFloorAssholeSTFUOnYourBalcony

Icanhereyouhavingsex [sic]

Caitlin stop using our Internet!

please no more grindcore at 3am

Stop being so fucking loud.

plzstopfuckingsoloudly

We can hear you having sex.

(Thanks to submitters Paul in St. Paul, Stirling in Salt Lake City, Arcadiy in Seattle, Denise in Rochester, Sara in Berkeley, Liz in Austin, Breanne in Oklahoma City, and Payal in Pleasanton, California…all of whom, no doubt, have secured wi-fi networks. Right, guys?)

related: Why-fi

P.S. Like this post? See more like this by following @panotes on Twitter, on Facebook, or via RSS!

Tags: dogs · most popular notes of 2009 · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex

The Trans-Hadean Orchestra

December 22nd, 2009 · 201 Comments

At college, more often than not, your sex life is everybody’s business. But don’t worry…it’s for your own good! For example, the writer of this first note (as spotted by Ashley at Missouri State) displays a heartwarming concern for her dorm-mate’s physical safety.

You and your boyfriend need to tone down the devil's orchestra that EVERYONE could hear in the middle of the day! Save yourself the embarassment. Sincerely, Someone who is hoping you use protection

And as Vic and his friends at Arizona State’s Barrett Honors College discovered, a group calling themselves “the Gods of ASU” has even deeper concerns….the fate of your everlasting soul!!!

It's getting pretty nippy outside, but don't keep warm with PRE-MARITAL SEX or you'll have plenty of heat IN HELL! Be righteous, Barrett.

related: “I know that it’s really none of my business, but…I’m going to tell you what I think anyway.”

Tags: Arizona · college life · Jesus · Missouri · MYOB · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback

Euphemisms of disturb

December 2nd, 2009 · 335 Comments

Our submitter in Dublin, California was leaving her apartment for work one morning when she found this syntactically-challenged note stuck to the door. “I assume my anonymous complaining neighbor has the wrong apartment number because A) My husband and I do not have children and B) For all but one of the dates listed no one was home to make any noise.”

She adds: ” We do, however, have other neighbors next door who are quite loud, and I’ve often been woken up to the sounds of moans, grunts and something heavy slamming into an adjoining wall.” (You know, just like that part in Big where they play pinball and jump on the trampoline!)

“When my husband saw this he laughed pretty hard and wondered aloud weather ‘kids jumping on the bed‘ was a euphemism for loud sex.”

euphemisms of disturb

related: Down and dirty down under (dear)

Tags: California · neighbors · noise · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

Your girlfriend is frightening the kittens

November 23rd, 2009 · 113 Comments

P.J. in Huntington, New York says his girlfriend found this note on the stairs “the morning after she came over dressed like a school girl.”

Meanwhile, P.J. leaves several questions unanswered in his explanation, among them…So, why did your your girlfriend come over to Mom’s house dressed like Britney circa 1998? How old is this girlfriend, relative to the age of a) an actual school girl and b) yourself? Is your mother, in fact, a cat?

I'm not happy about Lauren walking into my house dressed like something out of a bad porn movie. It was embarrassing to me. Love, Mom

Moral of the story: When dressing to impress, show your respect for Mom’s taste by dressing like something out a good porn movie. (I mean, Lauren, really, sexy school girl? So trite!)

related: (you know the book)

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Moms & Dads · Mother-son notes · nice stationery · sex sex sex · signed with love

“Piece out our imperfections with your thoughts”

November 1st, 2009 · 329 Comments

Writes Mike in Provo, Utah: “This is a letter my friend Liz found on the windshield of her car during the time she was dating her now-husband. They framed the note, and now have it proudly displayed in their living room.”

passiveaggressivenotes.com: nosy neighbors in provo, utah

related: A substance user and a player!

Tags: "helpful" advice · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2009 · MYOB · neighbors · Provo · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback · Utah

A new twist on the walk of shame

August 13th, 2009 · 126 Comments

Ah, college. While living in an all-female dorm might reduce some types of conflicts…

ah, college

ah, college

You also get…this. Explains Hannah in Pullman, Washington: “I live in an all-girls dorm, and guys aren’t allowed to use the bathrooms in the hall. The rule is they are supposed to be escorted out into the lobby…which is a apparently too long of a walk for some people.”

Urine in bottles thrown out windows is disgusting. Please escort male guests to the lobby to use the restroom. Don't make someone else clean up your guest's urine.

related: (it wasn’t me)

Tags: CAPS LOCK · college life · piss · roommates · sex sex sex · that's disgusting · that's unsanitary

One can only hope you won’t be giving the wedding toast

June 28th, 2009 · 85 Comments

At a recent wedding that Allison in Ealeigh, N.C. attended, the bride asked that, instead of signing a guestbook, wedding guests write their wishes for the couple on fabric squares that would later be made into a memory quilt. When Allison saw this one sitting on top, she couldn’t resist snapping a photo.

One can only hope you saved yourself for your wedding night

related: Taboo, the game of unsolicited douchebaggery

Tags: love & marriage · North Carolina · sex sex sex · unsolicited feedback

Some advice on roommate living

April 28th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter was mildly amused when he noticed this little hypothetical how-to pop up in his Facebook feed. But the real kicker, he realized, is that the one person tagged in the note happens to be (ouch) the notewriter’s current roommate.

some advice on roommate living

Adds our submitter: “To my surprise, the girl never commented on it, but I’m sure she got the message — she was called out!”

related: Some dating advice

Tags: Facebook · frenemies · roommates · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police