So, you still haven’t tried “new taste of Domino’s Pizza,” despite the barrage of marketing dollars being spent encouraging you to do so?  Not to worry! I’ll save you the heartburn incurred by a certain food-filching WashU student and his victims.

Here’s the scoop: If you order a pizza from Domino’s, there’s a 60% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls, and a 40% chance it will taste like a college student’s balls. (Oh, and to the Domino’s brand managers reading this: feel free to quote us on that!)

Explains Bridget in St. Louis: “There has been a quite nefarious food thief stealing from the dorm’s community refrigerator lately, and I should know, since my stuff has been taken too. There have been a couple of complaints posted to the fridge, but this is the best one I’ve seen. It was written on a napkin duct-taped to a pizza box that had been (rather hastily) stuffed in the refrigerator.”

related: My mum bought me that pizza!

extra credit: “New York Times Discovers New Trend: Bros Icing Bros” [gawker.com]

I was really hoping this would die before I’d get around to posting about it, but more than four months later, it appears the  “Imma Let You Finish” meme is still chuggin’ along. I’m gonna chalk it up to end-of-the-year insta-nostalgia and, well, let it finish.

P.S. Speaking of Tillamook cheddar, Doug Fir in Portland makes the best mac & cheese OF ALL TIME!

related: Somebody’s on Team Taylor Swift

Kendall was waiting for her peach perfection at the Jamba Juice in Elmhurst, Illinois when she spotted this note on the napkin-holder. Writes Kendall: “I guess it’s their passive-aggressive way of saying, ‘take fewer napkins, a**hole!’”

A tip for would-be internet meme-mongers: as of this writing, algoreknowshowmanynapkinsyoutake.com is still available. (What are you waiting for? apparently, these days they’re handing out book deals to any idiot with a blog!)

UPDATE 10/12/09: A copycat is on the loose in Milwaukee, Wisconsin! (As spotted by Paul in Nebraska)

UPDATE 9/24/10: Another real-world homage!  This time, from an office in Los Angeles. (It took two years for this to spread to the West Coast? Really?)

related: The audacity of theft
extra credit: isyournewbicycle.com

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

related: Your to lazy

extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out the stop-motion shorts at eatpes.com.

From the Bay-area offices of Yahoo! HotJobs…

Those programmers…so literal-minded, sometimes.

(thiz onez fer u, slackferno.)

Vici lives in London with five flatmates — all guys.

(If you don’t have a house full of cereal-stealing warcraft players like vici and don’t get the “orly?” thing…wikipedia to the rescue!)

related: cereal killer