Entries Tagged as 'shoes'

Cinderella be drizzunk

July 31st, 2011 · 22 Comments

“I saw this when passing by a neighbour’s house, and thought that this was one of their better efforts,” writes Kelly in the U.K. “I personally would have just chucked them myself.”

(Adds Kelly: “I’m guessing they belonged to the same person who decorated half the street with vomit.”)

Are these your shoes? Too drunk to remember where you left them? Sorry I am not your Prince Charming and didn't search the neighbourhood to find out whose foot fits the slippers LOL

Meanwhile, the Internet’s all “been there/done that/seen the animated GIF.”

bitch be drunk as hell, losing shoes and shit

related: If you were the one who was so drunk or so stupid that you left your camera in the park last night…

Tags: drizzunk · neighbors · shoes · U.K.

How now, Mad Cow?

June 29th, 2011 · 77 Comments

Our submitter in Tucson had just started a new position in the office of a hospital, and at the time — her budget already stretched thin — she only just one pair of dress shoes to wear with her meager set of work-appropriate clothing. Although she was happy to finally be able to pay her rent, you can imagine how much better she felt about her new job after finding this note dropped on her desk by an unknown coworker. (Because, really, who doesn’t appreciate being called a “thundering cow”?)

You may not be aware of how noisy you are when walking down the hallways with the stomping of your heels. Can you please walk quieter or get quieter shoes? It would make a better image if you walked gracefully and like not a thundering cow. Thanks for not being so distracting to patients and co-workers.   [Response] To Whomever wrote this note: Notes that use this manner of language are insulting and hurtful. Better decorum should be observed in a professional setting. You should ideally learn this, as well as learn how to approach people directly instead of leaving nasty notes on their cluttered desk. Thank you!

Adds our submitter: “Since I had no other way to address the author’s rudeness, I handwrote my response and tacked it up on the outer wall of my cube.”

related: Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

Tags: a little insensitive · noise · office · shoes

What happens when you push “Minnesota Nice” one muddy step too far?

November 14th, 2010 · 81 Comments

Shortly after moving in to her new place in Minneapolis, Emily was greeted by this example of that famous “Minnesota Nice“ on a neighbor’s door.

Remove shoes before enter my place or else you will have some promblems with me. That goes for whoever whatever. Or else you won't be comming in here. And if I see any footprint mudd on my rug. I will snapout. believe that am tired of being nice to people

Remove your shoes. Or else you won't be cumming in my house. thats goes for whoever. if you don't remove your shoe's before enter my house or you ill have a promblem with me. and you will be getting my carpet clean. and the next bad as kid or whoever rip my sign off my door i will whoop there ass. I don't care who you is.

related: Your are welcome to our home

Tags: apostrophe catastrophe · irregular capitalization · Minneapolis/St. Paul · Minnesota · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · shoes · spelling and grammar police

Spoken like someone who has never tried to take a one-year-old shopping

February 15th, 2010 · 307 Comments

Alex and his wife, Kathy, have an 18-month-old son who, among other his hobbies, enjoys pulling off his socks and shoes at any opportunity. (Perhaps he’s a future marathon-running superathlete. Or, you know, a normal 18-month-old.)

Recently, Kathy took her son with her on a trip to the store in their hometown of Las Vegas (temperature: a bone-chilling 64 degrees). When she came back to the car, she found this helpful bit of parenting advice waiting on her windshield.

How can you bring your kids out without shoes or socks!! It's not summer!! I see you have on shoes socks + long sleeves! Stop being a lazy ass mom!!

related: Oh, the Rancher and the McMansioner should be friends

Tags: "helpful" advice · exclamation-point happy!!!! · kids · Moms & Dads · shoes · unsolicited feedback

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

A “discussion” on shoes

October 2nd, 2008 · 108 Comments

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

(flip over for a discussion on shoes)

Shoes...let's get some shoes.

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · grow up · high on highlighter · martyr complex · roommates · shoes · spelling and grammar police