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Some relationship advice from your roommate

Kerry — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 03:25:16 +0000

Vanessa in Baton Rouge can vouch that that the state of her friend Charles’s bathroom and boudoir is “perpetually dirty.” Oddly, though, “of all the times I’ve been over to Charles’ apartment with his girlfriend, I’ve never, ever seen his roommate.”

(Which makes me wonder…could this note from Charles’s “roomie” actually have been written by said girlfriend? I’m not sure which scenario would be more passive-aggressive.)

And you’re not invited to my birthday party, either.

Kerry — Thu, 03 Mar 2011 00:23:01 +0000

So, Dana was hanging out at a friend’s place with a bunch of people, and — as many people do these days — was texting back and forth with her significant other in the midst of the conversation. Our submitter didn’t give any indication that this was a formal dinner party or anything like that, but apparently the host was so enraged by Dana’s breach of etiquette that he or she left the room to type, print, and sign this note, and then — due to the lack of an available notary public — handed it directly to Dana.

related: We’re ALL busy, man.

Haterade on the Rocks, with a twist

Kerry — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 02:16:20 +0000

After a night of heavy drinking, Dani in Baltimore woke up with a killer hangover that turned positively murderous when she noticed that her bottle of Gatorade — which she’d been saving in anticipation of her post-hangover re-hydration needs — was missing from the fridge.

Assuming her husband must have taken it, Dani quickly dashed off this exclamation-point-heavy tirade (which, of course, is “passive” only in the sense that she chose to sit down at the keyboard instead of going straight for the butcher knife).

A few hours later, however, says Dani, “I remembered that I had actually drunkenly finished the bottle of Gatorade the night before, in an attempt to avoid said hangover. Oops!”

I’m hoping this little “oops” was a come-to-Jesus moment for Dani that showed her the error of note-writing ways, but if not…well, Dani’s husband: consider yourself warned. Because seriously, this is America, not another planet!

related: You are on Uncle Paul’s list!

“Really, Honey. Take your time!”

Kerry — Fri, 09 Apr 2010 05:01:38 +0000

Gail in Pennsylvania says the Ann Taylor Loft store at her local mall has a small table stocked with paper and crayons — “an offering to the busy mother who has been forced to bring her pesky little children along for a shopping trip.”

When she took a closer look at the table’s scribblings, however, she had to chuckle at the sitcom-like image of a grown man stuffed into one those kiddie-sized chairs. Adds Gail: “I wonder if Greg’s wife ever saw her wonderful husband’s little PA note to the world? Well, here’s her chance!”

It’s all about communication. And toilet paper.

Kerry — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 21:50:15 +0000

Writes Brittney in California: “Apparently, my mom’s boyfriend was stuck with an insufficient amount of toilet paper, and being passive aggressive (because he really is) he decides to write a note about it and stick it on the mirror, rather than confront her.”

Mom’s response?

And, in the end….everybody loses!

Yours truly? Yours goddamn truly?

Kerry — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 03:59:47 +0000

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work in a flower shop, and this guy came in today to have us deliver flowers to his girlfriend. After he wrote the card, he asked us to check to make sure the spelling of ‘anniversary’ was right…even though it was right there on the card!”

Now, as for the message…”but it’s a joke!” you say? Well, to quote Scott Wetzler, a clinical psychologist and author of Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man: “A joke can be the most skillful passive-aggressive act there is.”

related: Really though — carnations?

Thanks a lot

Kerry — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:09:32 +0000

Erin in Minneapolis found this note attached to a door in an apartment building of her then-boyfriend. (Whether or not this act of fate would later precipitate her own breakup remains unclear.)

Oh, and Mary? Paper is traditionally given as a gift for the first anniversary. Perhaps a note written on an empty soda can would have been more appropriate for your tenth?

related: desperately seeking closure

He’s just not that into unicorns

Kerry — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:04:58 +0000

Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

Holy matrimony

kerry — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 01:21:34 +0000

Karolina in Dallas says she typically tries to wait her husband out in situations like this one, but she almost always ends up caving — “particularly when mold is involved.”

related: 10 people, 1 kitchen

Wake me up? Wham!

Kerry — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 12:45:39 +0000

Bradley in New York woke up yesterday to find this little love note from his girlfriend. (His explanation? “She’s a light sleeper.”) I feel her pain. If there’s a sound more irritating than a Nokia ring tone, the pathetic “I’m dying” whine of an out-of-juice cell phone just might be it.

Meanwhile, Chris’s friend Michelle doesn’t appreciate having her beauty rest disturbed, either…

This aggression will not stand, man

Kerry — Sat, 22 Sep 2007 16:56:14 +0000

As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

Is this what a post-post-feminist looks like?

Kerry — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 01:56:25 +0000

Brandy in York Haven, Pennsylvania forgot to put water back in the fridge, she says, “and my boyfriend likes his cold water.” Yikes.

Also note the list of tasks for Brandy and her boyfriend at upper right. Um, so much for challenging gender stereotypes at home, huh?