PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » signed with love

Daddy dearest

Kerry — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:56:53 +0000

Writes Virginia in Sumner, Washington: “Going through a box of old photographs in the attic, I found this birthday card I gave my father when I was five or six. I was a terrible child.”

related: Some daughterly wisdom for Dad

I just want to know the truth!

Kerry — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 20:07:03 +0000

Below: the first of many heartbreaking childhood disappointments to come for Kaeton’s six-year-old cousin, Laylah.

extra credit: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

Kerry — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 02:10:06 +0000

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Am I crazy? (Check yes or no)

Kerry — Thu, 01 Dec 2011 02:16:50 +0000

Despite what her neighbor would have you believe, Mim in Adelaide, Australia says she doesn’t actually just toss her trash into the street. In this case, she simply put out hard rubbish our for collection a few days earlier than suited the residents of 59 Windsor.

Mim says this note is just the latest installment in an ongoing litany of complaints, which “always come with the multi-coloured swirly script and hearts. They crack me up every time!”

related: Stay classy, Little Rock

The Toilet Paper Manifesto

Kerry — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 06:58:10 +0000

When four people share one bathroom, true equity in toilet-paper purchasing is nearly impossible to come by without conflict.

Just take a look at the opening salvo issued at Laura’s apartment in Georgia:

…and the first response:

Your move, “Scott.”

XXX, Mum

Kerry — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 23:44:31 +0000

James in the U.K. recently came home from football practice to discover that, in his absence, his mother had gotten a peek at his Internet browser history (“full of…well, I’m 15, I’m sure you can guess.”) As cool as his mum was about the whole thing, says James, “I still don’t know if I’ll be able to look her in the face for a while.”

“Happy viewing”? Nicely played, Mum.

If a tree falls in my kitchen but I don’t know where the broom is located…

Kerry — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 19:02:35 +0000

Savanna in Michigan says her landlord left this note on the kitchen floor “next to a tiny pile of tiny scraps of trash on the floor from dinner I had made.” Her excuse? “I don’t think we even have a broom, and if we do I have no idea where he keeps it.”

Um, Savanna, honey? No. Just…no.

Stay classy, Fairbanks

Kerry — Tue, 11 Oct 2011 01:22:34 +0000

I’ll admit it: When reading the backstory to this note, I definitely raised an eyebrow at Mary’s assertion that this restaurant in Fairbanks, Alaska — Bobby’s Downtown — is best known for its “lavishly posh restrooms.” Then I took a look at the online reviews.

Now, as fascinated as I am by this whole “princess of the bathrooms” concept, I should probably get back to Mary — who, on her most recent visit to Bobby’s famous facilities, spotted a delightful new addition to the decor:

Boy, that is one issue of the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner I cannot wait to see.

When refrigerators speak

Kerry — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 23:46:44 +0000

THE LINE BREAKS

ON THIS NOTE

MAKE ME WANT…….TO

PUNCH SOMEONE

Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

Kerry — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 23:20:28 +0000

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

related: Love, the Landlord

Playing the terrorism card to justify your late-night karaoke dance party? Really?

Kerry — Mon, 26 Sep 2011 01:09:09 +0000

If it wasn’t obvious, Lorah in NYC says the response note here was most definitely a total lie. (The residents of 4B are musical theater actors, and sing-and-dance-a-thons are not uncommon events in their apartment.)

Hello Kitty says: “Unconditional love can be complicated!”

Kerry — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 16:11:34 +0000

Melody in Schenectady, New York says her 7-year-old daughter, Emma, is constantly writing little stories and whatnot, which inevitably end up all over the house. As Melody was picking up some of Emma’s latest scraps, she found this note addressed to her 4-year-old sister.

related: S is for sibling rivalry

The old “wipe & walk” trick

Kerry — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:04:26 +0000

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 ” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

Kerry — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 21:54:20 +0000

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed