Entries Tagged as 'heart'

Sure, she’s dumb as a box of hair, but…

December 4th, 2011 · 49 Comments

Apparently Meaghan’s roommates weren’t happy with how she disposed of her bang trimmings in the recycling bin. But c’mon, at least she didn’t leave em in the sink or the shower drain, right? Or…maybe she was confused about how the whole “locks of love” thing works? Or…aww, screw it. Can’t you bitches all just get along?

Hey bitch (Meaghan)!  Hair is not recyclable! (I hope your new haircut looks really stupid!) -N & B

related: Dear mother of hair baby…

Tags: hair · heart · Massachusetts · mean girls · recycling · roommates

Am I crazy? (Check yes or no)

November 30th, 2011 · 97 Comments

Despite what her neighbor would have you believe, Mim in Adelaide, Australia says she doesn’t actually just toss her trash into the street. In this case, she simply put out hard rubbish our for collection a few days earlier than suited the residents of 59 Windsor.

Mim says this note is just the latest installment in an ongoing litany of complaints, which “always come with the multi-coloured swirly script and hearts. They crack me up every time!”

The people next door are selling their house. Please don't spoil it by leaving your fucking rubbish in the avenue. Thank you

related: Stay classy, Little Rock

Tags: Australia · excessive capitalization · garbage · heart · neighbors · there goes the neighborhood

Don’t be an ash-hole! Love, Mom

October 3rd, 2011 · 155 Comments

“My friends’ mom has four cigarette-smoking daughters under one roof,” says our submitter in Cleveland. “She had to reach her breaking point eventually.”

Hi All! If you

related: Love, the Landlord

Tags: Cleveland · heart · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love · smoking · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Playing the terrorism card to justify your late-night karaoke dance party? Really?

September 25th, 2011 · 58 Comments

If it wasn’t obvious, Lorah in NYC says the response note here was most definitely a total lie. (The residents of 4B are musical theater actors, and sing-and-dance-a-thons are not uncommon events in their apartment.)

Please respect your neighbors. Any singing/dancing/noise after 11pm, management & police will be notified. -The Tenants

So sorry for all the commotion last night. We meant no disrespect by singing/dancing. A dear friend returned from overseas, fighting the war on terror. We had a celebration for his return. It would be a shame if you do not support our soldiers overseas. Please come see our apartment. It's red, white, and blue. NOW WHO'S THE TERRORIST?! <3 the residents of 4B xoxoxo

related: If you don’t read this, the terrorists win! Do you hate America?

Tags: heart · neighbors · New York · noise · non-apology apology · oh no you didn't · smartass · that's disrespectful · xoxo

The old “wipe & walk” trick

September 21st, 2011 · 117 Comments

Option a) “Hey, Iva, could you buy some TP? We’re out.”

Option b) Several weeks of seething funneled into eight six colored markers’ worth of heart exclamation point smiley THREAT heart heart.

And the winner is…

Dear Iva, I hope you had a nice day!! :) When I moved in, I bought 6 rolls of TP & a giant tissue box. Heather bought 6 more TP rolls & the paper towel box. Unless for some reason you do not shit, pee, or wash your hands, you have used all of those things.  THEY ARE GONE. Please replenish these items by Thursday latest. If you don't, Heath & I will continue buying those things, but we will keep them in our rooms for when WE would like to pee. That sounds really funny and everything but I'M ACTUALLY NOT KIDDING. We appreciate it!! heart heart Bell

Gee, Bell, that IS funny, cuz you really threw me off with that “I hope you had a nice day!! <3 :)” shit. (I’M ACTUALLY KIDDING. I WILL CUT YOU.)

related: One sure sign your roommate situation isn’t working out?

Tags: heart · mean girls · not-so-veiled threats · rainbow-colored · roommates · signed with love · smiley · toilet paper

Dear couchsurfer: here’s a clue you might have overstayed your welcome

August 3rd, 2011 · 22 Comments

From Austin, Texas: a last-ditch attempt to get rid of a houseguest who took “Mi casa es su casa” a bit too literally…

Be out by Friday or I will remove you & change the locks (Hug Me)

related: Couchsurfing Greg gets pissed

Tags: Austin · frenemies · heart · moving/not moving · nice stationery · not-so-veiled threats

Well, so much for “have a nice summer, see you next year”

July 4th, 2011 · 80 Comments

Writes Roxanne in New Jersey: “When my niece, Diana, returned from a yearbook-signing party, she showed me this inscription from a girl who Diana says she hardly even knows. We’re both dying to know what those terrible warnings about her could have been (but of course, grateful that Leah apparently gave her a chance in spite of them.)”

Hey Diana! It was great getting to know you this year.  A lot of people warned me about you, but you're not so bad! heart, Leah.

related: 2good 2be 4gotten

Tags: heart · mean girls · New Jersey · schools & teachers

The Pooper Stooper

April 5th, 2011 · 108 Comments

Need to borrow a cup of sugar? How about five pounds of dog poop? Well heck, that’s what neighbors are for!

Hey Sillies! I noticed you guys keep forgetting to pick up your dogs' poopies so I took it upon myself to bring by some baggies. I assumed you're all out because why else wouldn't you clean up after your dogs? Oh! I also helped out by dropping all the said poop conveniently in front of your dog, for easier clean up. You're welcome!

related: Do you want a doggy bag for those leftovers, sir?

extra credit: The perfect leash for dog haters/sociopaths

Tags: "helpful" advice · dogs · heart · most popular notes of 2011 · neighbors · shit

You’re just not getting it, Sugar

December 19th, 2010 · 77 Comments

From Stacey in Jacksonville, Florida: the blitzkrieg approach to ongoing breakroom disorder.

The trashcan isn't that far away! Quit leaving this mess EVERY DAY! Throw it away! Love, The 2nd floor

Seriously! Stop leaving this here! Throw this away!

Really!?!? Come on!!!

And from Englewood, Colorado…the passive-aggressive approach:

EAT THESE IF YOU WOULD LIKE CANCER

related: Nutra-not-so-sweet

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · cleaning · coffee · Colorado · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · heart · It's science! · Jacksonville · office · spoons

Jukebox Justice

December 6th, 2010 · 82 Comments

Our submitter, a bartender in D.C., might not be the world’s biggest Mariah Carey fan, but when a group of customers put “All I Want for Christmas is You,” on the jukebox last Saturday night, he didn’t complain. But when the same group queued the song up again — three times in a row — he invoked his bartender’s privilege and skipped it. After all, he says, “It was DECEMBER 4th. I gave them their money back, but they still kept calling me ‘Grinch.’”

I have to step in here and note that, yes, that song is like crack — once you’re hooked, one hit is never enough. But that’s when you go home and spend the 99 cents to download it so you can indulge your addiction on endless repeat without coughing up a quarter every time. However, money management not being the forte of most addicts, at the end of the night the holiday-happy patrons left behind this oh-so-classy note in lieu of a tip.

Sorry for partying. Sorry we enjoy Christmas.

That very same weekend, meanwhile, Amy noticed that the bartender at one of her local haunts in Murrysville, Pennsylvania has taken a proactive approach to this particular problem. “Normally a super friendly place, I was sooo tempted to play ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ just to see what they would do.” (Instead, she held on to that feeling — privately — and took a picture.)

If you play

related: “You Can Call Me Arse”: A review of last night’s performance

extra credit: Jukebox Etiquette 101

Tags: a matter of taste · bar · Christmas · D.C. · heart · holiday spirit · music · non-apology apology · Pennsylvania · tipping · xoxo