Once upon a time, our anonymous submitter informs us, a plucky young fellow who goes by the name “Fluffy Fox” found his way onto the walls of this underutilized Florida dorm shower. An avid personal hygiene enthusiast, Fluffy has always been all too willing to provide grime-infested student bodies with his full rundown of bathroom reminders.

If passive-aggressive notes are good enough for prime time, surely there’s room for Fluffy’s bathroom antics in today’s lackluster Saturday morning cartoon lineup, no?

related: There are only 10 types of people in the world…

I recently returned from a few days in San Antonio, Texas, where my friend Matt and I amused ourselves on the Riverwalk with a competition to find the tackiest souvenir possible in each store within three minutes or less. (My first win: a “pooping armadillo” keychain.) When we entered this fine establishment, however, I had to call a time-out.

I didn’t even get a chance to take photos of all the signs at this one store — including some amazing ones taped to the register — before I started getting the stink-eye from the manager. (I generally try to stay out of trouble in states that allow their teachers to come to class armed.) I’m telling you, Alamo, Schmalamo: this store was the highlight of my trip.

related: Tourist traps have the best signs

“My friend Katelyn’s roommate left her this note before she went away for Memorial Day weekend last year,” says Monica in Boston. “I love how it starts off so BFF-like…then takes a sharp left into passive-aggressive territory.”

Adds Monica: “While Katelyn normally likes to avoid confrontation, I think this note pushed her over the edge. She didn’t empty the trash or rinse a dish the entire weekend, and they spent the next three months before their lease ended in a passive-aggressive standoff (purposely being loud when they knew the other had to study…’accidentally’ breaking the other’s belongings, etc.) Good times!”

related: (They match the plastic slipcover on the futon)

Zakir in Montreal came home one night to find his roommate, Tristan ferociously scribbling this note for his other roommate, Vincent.  Apparently, Tristan was baking cookies on Saturday night (aww) and when he turned on the stove, the entire apartment filled with smoke from the charred cardboard from Vince’s frozen pizza.

Says Zakir: “Vincent’s reply to the note was gold. He yelled: ‘Well, maybe next time you should CHECK the oven before you turn it on….WHAT IF THERE WAS A BABY IN THERE?!’ and then slammed his door behind him.”

Adds Zakir: “I’m not sure if those are hearts or flames all over the note, but I do know Tristan‘s face was scrunched with anger as he wrote it.”

Meanwhile, in Clemson, S.C…there is a baby in that oven.

related: must have been a pretty big bite

Rachel in Virginia says her two roommates, “despite seeing and talking to me multiple times a day, decide to air their grievances through notes.” These grievances include being responsible for a $200 water bill “because i wash my face and hands at night and in the morning.” rachel has decided that enough is enough.

To paraphrase the Dude paraphrasing Bush Senior: This passive-aggression will not stand, man.

Meanwhile, Ben in Helena, Montana says he loves passive-aggressive notes.

In fact, he loves them so much that he had these special sticky notes printed up — both as an homage to our humble projet and “to encourage and facilitate the leaving of such notes.”

Adds Ben, “They’ve proved so popular I already need to order some more.” (Unclear whether this is a good thing.)

related: “That shit is disrespectful”

Thanks to Sarah for capturing this delicious little slice of life from her Christian college in Illinois. (Delicious like a quart of Starbucks Coffee Almond Fudge, not one measly little low-fat Frappucino bar.)

related: but He took the wheel

One loverly lady in Illinois found this note on the door of her dorm room after a long day of classes. (The identity of the note-leaver is still a mystery, as is the meaning of the phrase “dollar sign flower slams easily.”)

Adds our submitter: “When we had our next floor meeting, I did the not-so-passive thing of calling out ‘whoever wrote the note,’ saying that we were trying our hardest to keep her ‘lovely.’”

related: We hear you, man

Brandy in York Haven, Pennsylvania forgot to put water back in the fridge, she says, “and my boyfriend likes his cold water.” Yikes.

Also note the list of tasks for Brandy and her boyfriend at upper right. Um, so much for challenging gender stereotypes at home, huh?