K, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

(Check out that sad little orphan S!)
 

…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.

related: Your mother doesn’t work here. Or here. Or here.

Shortly after the birth of her new nephew (a.k.a “Gee-Gee-Boo”), Liz in Waltham, Mass. received this note (channeling grandmothers everywhere) from the precocious 7-year-old daughter of her other sister. Writes Liz: “I love that she is simultaneously trying to guilt trip me into having a kid while not-so-subtly hinting that Baby G should move up to the Boston area.”

Meanwhile, an eight-year-old in San Marcos, California is also finding a good use for those “friendly letter” skills he learned in school.

related: P.P.S. do you really have a belly like a bowl full of jelly?

One lazy Sunday, when our anonymous submitter in Minneapolis spotted this bit of graphity on a wooden bridge at a park, “At first I thought it was sweet in a sad kind of way,” he says. But then he kept finding more — “on benches, picnic tables, even trees, and they got progressively more insane.”

And yet, as many questions as these notes raise, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever Keith’s wife did, IT HAD TO BE DONE.

Here, Keith’s wife really shows off her flair for language (which we got a brief glimpse of in her earlier “hot dog” opus.)

Then, evidently quite pleased with herself, Keith’s wife gives herself an encore on another bench.

related: to have and to hold

While returning a long-lost battery charger, Kaitlin’s Dad echoes the sentiments of parents with adult children everywhere.

Meanwhile, Sarah in Greenville, S.C. shows the downside of giving in to parents’ nagging for unfettered access.

related: why you should not be facebook friends with your parents

Writes our anonymous submitter: “This was sent to my six-year-old step daughter by her grandma. The birthday present in question was a pack of writing paper and $5 American. We live in Canada.”

(The “did you get…” pretense combined with the oh-so-subtle post script is so classic “passive-aggressive grandma” that I cannot even handle it. Bonus points for the repurposed note paper!)

Meanwhile, Toni spotted this grandma’s thank-you note on a closed booth at a flea market in Lakewood, Ohio.

related: But…but…I didn’t forget!

Writes Dan in Seattle: “I work at a federal hospital and often ride my motorcycle to work. There is another hospital employee that also does so, and we usually park in the same area. Space is at a premium —especially around this woman and her self-proclaimed 10-foot-wide protected parking bubble. Another time she left me a note asking me not to block her in (when I hadn’t blocked her in!) but this latest note from her is the best encounter by far. I parked behind her about a foot back, leaving plenty —and I mean plenty — of room for her to pull out, but apparently that wasn’t enough for her.”

This time, Dan says, “for the safety of my motorcycle (and obviously, out of spite), I told the police.” Lucky for us, he scanned a copy of the note first. It’s the totally “biker chick” stationery that makes it, of course.

related: hello kancer!

This note — spotted by Erik in a break room at Northwestern‘s Medill School of Journalism — takes me back to my days as a bright-eyed young reporter cheerfully slaving away at my college daily, where the grizzled old alumni “mentors” working at the Times or the Globe always seemed to have the same advice:  if we were smart, we’d get the hell out of journalism before it was too late. (“Ha ha,” we’d laugh, awkwardly.) It’s somehow reassuring to know that kids today (“kids today!”) are still blithely ignoring their elders to pursue a degree that just might be the most unnecessary in higher education.

But seriously now. At this point, you’re like, “What is this biotch rambling on about? Doesn’t she know I don’t read text longer than 140 characters at a time? Show me the picture, dammit!” And that, young j-schoolers, is the topic of next week’s lecture.

related: the silverware segregationist

extra credit: the twitter explosion [american journalism review]

This note appeared on the whiteboard in Whitney’s dorm room the day after she got in a fight with her roommate, Ashley, and accused her of using her friends. The note was written by Ashley’s cousin, Angela, and while addressed to “Ash,” seems more directed at the room’s other resident.

related: Facebook, a place for frenemies