Entries Tagged as 'signed with love'
Although at first glance this card might seem pretty harmless, our submitter in Sacramento says she’s had enough experience with her new husband’s ultra-religious cousins to be able to read between the lines. (Just add “…before you’re both condemned to eternal damnation” to the end of the last sentence and you’ll get the idea.)
Adds our bristling bride: “I felt like telling her she could keep her $50 and her guilt trip, too, but decided I would have my revenge by having a long, happy, secular marriage instead.”
related: Waiting for the Rapture (and/or a thank you note)
extra credit: the front of the card
Tags: family · Jesus · love & marriage · Sacramento · signed with love
Our submitter and her brother — both adults — recently received this e-mail from their mother, who’s currently traveling (thus making telephone calls difficult). What ever did empty nesters do before e-mail?
(Actually, it’s pretty easy to imagine this in telegram form — just take out the word “email” and sub in <STOP> for all those question marks.)
related: Thanks, Mom, for reminding me why I moved out in the first place.
Tags: confusion??? · e-mail · guilt trip · martyr complex · Moms & Dads · signed with love
September 30th, 2010 · 70 Comments
Well…lots of stuff.
And yet, somehow, the employees at this office in Edmonton still can’t quite make TP happen. (Maybe wrestling grizzlies is more their forte?)
Perhaps a visual aid (like this one from a Los Angeles apartment share) would be helpful?
Or maybe just a bit more encouragement would push someone over the edge?
(Probably not, though.)
related: Five approaches to TP maintenance
Tags: bathroom · Edmonton · Los Angeles · most popular notes of 2010 · New York · signed with love · toilet paper · visual aids
September 22nd, 2010 · 55 Comments
So, the other day, Olivia’s mother and aunt were having a conversation, and her Mom was fretting about how she’d been overeating this week and how she was going back on her diet the very next day and blahblahblahwhydon’tgrown-upsevertalkaboutanythinginteresting.
Olivia says this inspired her eavesdropping 7-year-old sister to post this helpful reminder where their Mom gets ready in the morning, just to make sure she wouldn’t forget!
related: Please don’t take this the wrong way, pregnant lady, but have you considered Weight Watchers?
Tags: "helpful" advice · heart · hey fatty · Houston · Mother-daughter notes · signed with love
September 19th, 2010 · 61 Comments
Tim lives in Northwest D.C., “at the front of the gentrification wave” flowing east from Dupont Circle. “We have (only) one rundown/uninhabited house on the block,” Tim says, “and this morning one of the other neighbors decided to mow the front lawn to tidy it’s appearance a bit.” While taking out the trash later that evening, Tim noticed that his neighbor’s good deed had been rewarded by this neighborly thank-you note.
(As far as the smell goes…perhaps some people were under the same mistaken impression as those near this West Hollywood residence?)
related: Gentrification is insanit(ar)y
Tags: D.C. · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · Los Angeles · odor · shit · signed with love · thanks (but not really) · that's disgusting · there goes the neighborhood
September 15th, 2010 · 58 Comments
Joe is an elementary school teacher in Long Beach, California. On the last day of summer school, he got this goodbye letter from one of his students. “It was really cute and sweet,” Joe says. “However, she does mention in the card that I am ‘not that smart.’ I asked her why she thought that, and apparently it’s because she saw me ask another teacher a question about grammar. Hilarious.”
Brandy in Citrus Heights, California received a note with a similar mixed message from her then-six-year-old daughter, who’s now 14. Really, I’m just glad just this letter wasn’t signed “love, your girlfriend.” Because that would not be cute.
related: Mommy, I love you sometimes!!!!
extra credit: So Nice, So Smart [iLike]
Tags: California · kids · Mother-daughter notes · schools & teachers · signed with love
September 12th, 2010 · 82 Comments
“New York Times reader” didn’t become a right-wing synonym for “elitist” out of nowhere. As the newspaper itself proclaims, “Times readers are a well-educated group. They expect sophisticated coverage and literate prose.”
But how does that literate sophistication hold up when the Gray Lady goes a-missin’? Well, if “self-aggrandizing smugness” counts as sophistication and “almost free of basic spelling and grammar errors” counts as “literate” — remarkably well, actually! (That whole “i before e” thing is pretty tricky, after all.)
Exhibit a) From Alan in Washington, DC:
Exhibit b) From an anonymous submitter in Lawrence, Kansas:
Exhibit c) From Elizabeth in Queens:
Unimpressed? Well, for the sake of comparison, let’s take a look at some notes by readers of less “sophisticated” newspapers. Like, say, the Washington Post:
Adds Robin in DC: “This person has also posted several other notes making various threats, including a promise to fill their paper with feces and glitter.”
As much as I appreciate that imagery, it’s actually New York’s other status-symbol-paper that inspires my favorite note of this genre — primarily because it so perfectly captures the essence of the Patrick Bateman/Gordon Gekko-worshipping tool I imagine the writer to be.
Our submitter, meanwhile, found the note more puzzling than anything else. Writes Danielle: “What kind of boring person steals the Wall Street Journal?”
And that, dear readers, is a question for another day.
related: Free markets, free people, free papers
extra credit: Dear Neighbors, Read This Note! [nytimes.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · i before e · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · newspaper · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · stealing
Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”
“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”
Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”
related: I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.
Tags: Columbus · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · irregular capitalization · motorcycles · neighbors · parking · spelling and grammar police
Chad and Cassie might want to be careful what they wish for…lest someone be tempted to “return” something they didn’t actually borrow first.
(Thanks to Travis in Austin and anonymous in Boise for submitting.)
related: Does your roommate have note-writing diarrhea?
Tags: Austin · heart · Idaho · p.s. · shit · touching
Hey, look — it’s almost the entire 12-step program in one note! I especially like the abridged version: “To the idiot who stole: the world is your oyster.”
related: Is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?
Tags: "helpful" advice · heart · Orange County · stealing · TL;DR · toilet paper