Entries Tagged as 'signed with love'

I am beautiful, no matter what they say (or passive-aggressively insinuate)

April 28th, 2010 · 143 Comments

Katie in Oklahoma City was cleaning out a box of wedding memorabilia when she rediscovered this note from her mother, written just after she paid for Katie’s wedding dress.

Although I know a lot of brides who would have immediately ripped this card (and the enclosed check) to bits, Katie accepted the gift with impressively good humor. “I found it funny,” she says, “because it’s just the way my Mom is. She signed my Dad’s name too, but it’s from her…just her.”

Dear Katie, You are beautiful now. We are sure you will be a beautiful bride. To help insure our wedding dress investment, please buy some scales of your choosing with this money and weigh yourself once a week. We love you and want you to enjoy your wedding day. This present might help with some of the stress. With love, Mom & Dad

“Oh, and just FYI,” Katie adds, “I think I weighed 115 pounds at the time this note was written.”

related: Loose lips shrink hips?

extra credit: We hope there’s a Borg scale for every bride! [LIFE magazine, 1961]

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little insensitive · hey fatty · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2010 · Mother-daughter notes · oh no you didn't · Oklahoma · signed with love · weddings and bridezillas

St. Patrick…the patron saint of Irish-Catholic guilt?

March 17th, 2010 · 72 Comments

“My mother-in-law is a devout Catholic,” our submitter says, “but my husband and sister-in-law do not hold the same beliefs” — much to the chagrin of their ever-guilt-tripping Mom. “We received this St. Patrick’s Day card addressed to my sister-in-law c/o my husband…even though she has her daughter’s address.”

Happy St Patty's Day! For my daughter who doesn't believe in anything anymore! Blessings of St. Patrick to you! Love and Peace and Joy, Your Mother! XOXO

related: theo(logical) fallacy

Tags: God · guilt trip · holiday spirit · Moms & Dads · signed with love · xoxo

The joys of motherhood

March 2nd, 2010 · 141 Comments

Writes Sarah: “This note was written to me after I told my seven-year-old daughter to go to her room until she felt like being nice. I’m still trying to figure out what she really feels. Was it love mingled with regret…or slathering me with goodness in hopes of ending the misery in her room? Somehow I still think she meant what she originally said. Motherhood rocks!!!!”

I <3 U Mommy Dear Mom, You are my favorit [sic] mommy ever. I'm sorry for calling you a piece of poo. And I hate you and not going to my room. I love you Mommy  Love, your dauttre [sic] Karah

Meanwhile, Laura in California writes: ”My six-year-old daughter misbehaved at school, so she couldn’t go to the harvest festival. This didn’t go over well, so she wrote me this threatening note. When I laughed, she took it back to add ‘I (am) serious.’”

No luving Maggie in less you let me go I serious am

And it’s not just the girls. Liev in Gainesville, Georgia received this from her six-year-old son when — while trying to get dinner on the table for five kids clamoring for her attention — she had to tell him she did not have time to look at his latest Lego creation right this second. “This is his drawing of me yelling at him. The thing above him is his broken heart.”

The joys of motherhood

related: Mad, but not made enough to forego a French braid

Tags: art · heart · kids · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2010 · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · spelling and grammar police

Actually, I am offended…above all, by your atrocious spelling.

March 1st, 2010 · 110 Comments

“This was posted after the author cleaned the house which consisted entirely of her own mess,” says our anonymous submitter in the U.K.

Of course, when you live with multiple roommates, it’s always somebody else’s mess. (Or should I say…I’ts?)

Hi Guys Look, you might find this note kinda Impertenant [sic] cos I don't engage in house-cleaning very often, but that is because I clean up after myself as I go! Plus I have a full time job so I'm too damn tierd [sic] of an evening to worry about other peoples mess, but lately I'ts [sic] become such a state that I've spent a couple of evenings: neatening the kitchen, taking out copious amounts of garbage, wiping down the work surfaces, and clearing the party debris out of the living room! the point of this note is to say that I WILL NOT be washing the mountin [sic] of dishes!

related: May the sanctity of the sink prevail!

Tags: cleaning · dishes · martyr complex · signed with love · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · You call that punctuation?

Sonic Boo

February 14th, 2010 · 102 Comments

As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).

Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”

Dear Deseray [redacted],  I love you, First of all and I pretty much always Loved you really u was tha Best girlFriend I ever had you Know, you meant the world to me even though you was cheating on Her with Me everytime you was angry at Her For dancing with alot of girls at district or when your Love and affection fubbed OFF on Me and you really didn't even care, But anyway's I Miss you and talking to you and PLEASE TELL CORY dat I am sorry I Really AM, I just couldn't Help it I knew her LONGER than you and well after a While She Found Me SUPER ATTRACTIVE, and I did the Same For Her and Pretty Much everyBody kept saying dat we was great couples and SHIT you know YOU was the ONE For ME deseray I SWEAR TA MUdAFUCKING GOD you was My only Love For Me deseray.  I AIN'T Never Felt No Love Like you and us...your my Guardian Angel and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER MORE, anyway I wish you can UNBLOCK me OFF Myspace so I can Talk to you instead of having to come all the way here on the Bus and write This shit in person you know, Anyway Hit Me up my # is [redacted] OKay and again I Love you and Miss you and will always Love you  Sincerly  [illegible]  [redacted]      A.K.A Sonic ur Boo Forever  P.s; Sorry For what Happen to your DaD Too I had the Same Feeling...Love You xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!

related: perfect for each other

Tags: ex drama · Minneapolis/St. Paul · p.s. · runaway run-on sentences · spelling and grammar police · spurned lover · TL;DR · WTF? · xoxo · You call that punctuation?

Look, Tooth Fairy, here’s the deal.

February 9th, 2010 · 131 Comments

“My wife and I have been busy lately,” writes Sean in Vancouver, “and we forgot to get the newly-lost baby tooth from under my daughter’s pillow. We finally remembered a few days later. When my wife went in to slip some money under the pillow, I could hear her trying hard not to crack up.” When she came out (red-faced and laughing), to show me the note, I understood why.”

Dear, Toothfairy  It has been 4 days of putting my tooth under my pillow and on my desk. I am getting sick and tried of it. I would really like it if you just did what you are supposed to do.   P.S. I am not being rude. You could write if you want. Love, Haylee

related: Passive-Aggressive Easter Bunny

Tags: kids · most popular notes of 2010 · p.s. · signed with love · Vancouver

Sometimes, Mom is (actually, maybe, a little bit) right.

December 21st, 2009 · 136 Comments

Writes our submitter in Lexington, Kentucky: “One day, I updated my Facebook status to something about how no one in my city knows how to properly use a turning lane. The next day, I got this e-mail from my mom. She often makes similar judgments about what personality traits I should have because I’m ‘such a pretty girl.’”

Annoying? Sure. But aside from the irritating Momsian/Victorian conflation of physical/moral beauty, I think I’m actually on Team Mom for this one. (Of course, had I received a similar e-mail from my own mom, I’d hardly be so clear-eyed. Such is the nature of the mother/daughter dynamic!)

Honey, I wish you wouldn't post such negative comments on Facebook. They come off kind of nasty and you're such a pretty girl.  Life's a bitch and we all have to deal with it so try to be more positive. Love, Mom

related: Living with an adolescent, abridged

Tags: e-mail · Facebook · Moms & Dads · not so much passive-aggressive · signed with love · unsolicited feedback

I hope you get money from everybody!

December 18th, 2009 · 138 Comments

“In college,” Sandy writes, “I shared a house with a motley group of roomies. When it was time for me to graduate, my super-kooky roommate suggested I send her parents a graduation announcement because they had liked me a lot (having met me once, for a few hours) and would feel insulted if I didn’t send them an announcement. I had a few left over, so I did.”  A while later came this response – not passive-aggressive per se, but a little, well…

Dear Sandy, I hope I spelled your name right. [redacted] + me + [redacted] talked about what to do, and $25 came up. So here you go. I hope you get money from everybody! Congratulations on your graduation!

Adds Sandy: “The assumption of my attempt to grub money coupled with the cheerfully airy tone really speaks volumes about the environment in which my old roomie grew up. (Incidentally, she DID spell my name right.)”

P.S. Yes, that’s $25, not $125.

related: Really, Mom, you shouldn’t have

Tags: college life · Moms & Dads · money · not so much passive-aggressive · Say wha? · signed with love

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Your girlfriend is frightening the kittens

November 23rd, 2009 · 113 Comments

P.J. in Huntington, New York says his girlfriend found this note on the stairs “the morning after she came over dressed like a school girl.”

Meanwhile, P.J. leaves several questions unanswered in his explanation, among them…So, why did your your girlfriend come over to Mom’s house dressed like Britney circa 1998? How old is this girlfriend, relative to the age of a) an actual school girl and b) yourself? Is your mother, in fact, a cat?

I'm not happy about Lauren walking into my house dressed like something out of a bad porn movie. It was embarrassing to me. Love, Mom

Moral of the story: When dressing to impress, show your respect for Mom’s taste by dressing like something out a good porn movie. (I mean, Lauren, really, sexy school girl? So trite!)

related: (you know the book)

Tags: actually totally reasonable · Moms & Dads · Mother-son notes · nice stationery · sex sex sex · signed with love