Entries Tagged as 'smartass'
“About five months ago,” writes Catherine in Massachusetts, a new tenant moved in and began a new exercise regime: running back and forth in the building hallways. “His/her gait is rather lumbering and resonates throughout our apartment,” Catherine says. “We were startled at first, but have come to giggle over this frequent disruption. Apparently, one of our neighbors isn’t laughing.”
From there, things began to escalate. “Fortunately,” Catherine says, the ensuing flame war “just goes to show that most of our neighbors have a great sense of humor.”
related: The very delicate elevator
Tags: dogs · kids · Massachusetts · neighbors · noise · note wars · smartass
Our submitter, who works at a language school in France, isn’t 100% sure which one of the managers posted this on the staff board. However, there is one person he can think of who “has a fondness for long patronizing notes when a simple ‘please close the door’ would do.”
(just click the photo to enlarge)
related: Ceci n’est pas une porte
Tags: obnoxious definition · opening/closing · smartass · TL;DR
September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments
Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!
Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”
related: My Secretary, Sybil
Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching
September 17th, 2012 · 41 Comments
This heapsort arrived via an anonymous sender in Wellington, New Zealand. (Notice the menacing-looking knife at right…)
related: An ABP on the V8
Tags: confusion??? · New Zealand · office · smartass
“People steal other people’s food and drink so often in my office that security put up a notice,” says our submitter in Florida. “Apparently, the sign isn’t working.”
Instead, the notes left by the victims have turned into an ongoing office-wide joke.
And the latest contribution…
related: Those heirloom tomatoes had sentimental value!
Tags: beverages · note wars · office fridge · smartass · stealing
“My best friend works at a hospital as a RN,” Jesse writes, “and one day, after a ridiculously long shift, she reached into the breakroom candy dish expecting, well, candy, and got a handful of pushpins instead. She wrote this note because a) she’s a smartass and b) to warn others.”
Jesse continues: “Minutes later, a doctor came in, reached into the candy dish, and popped one into his mouth. Then he spit it out, exclaiming, ‘This isn’t candy!’ My friend looked at him, and with a straight face said, ‘That’s why the note is there, Doctor.’ He looked down, read the note, and promptly left the room.”
Adds Jesse: “But seriously, what kind of troll puts push pins in a candy dish?”
related: THIS IS A CANDY-OPTIONAL OFFICE
Tags: candy · hospitals & doctors · most popular notes of 2012 · smartass
Pat in London works for a large office, where, unfortunately for the many java addicts on staff, the coffeemaker has a habit of breaking down. Also, Pat says, “It’s an advertising agency, so there are lots of grammar pedants.” The result?
related: Just be glad you don’t know what’s in the coffee
Tags: coffee · London · note wars · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police
There’s a vending machine troll on the loose in Chicago!
related: The Candyman Can’t
Tags: candy · Chicago · smartass · vending machine drama
There’s the typical New York City note…
And then there’s the Willamette Valley way…
related: Completely valid rebuttals
Tags: Comic Sans Alert · most popular notes of 2012 · New York · Oregon · smartass
Spotted by Kathy at her office lunchroom in Seattle:
The real sad reality?
related: You sure nag like my mother…
Tags: cleaning · office · rebuttals · Seattle · smartass · Your mother doesn't...