Entries Tagged as 'smartass'

Do these stilettos match my broomstick?

December 9th, 2009 · 262 Comments

Sarah in London found this note — and the cheeky response — posted in the lobby of her former apartment building.

“Entry to the flats is by way of a concrete outside walkway,” she explains. “Unfortunately, if someone has noisy heels, the sound tends to reverberate throughout the building.”

When you come home in the early hours of the morning (2:45 am) can you please NOT make so much noise going down the main balcony with your stilettos and then slamming your street door. The problem with living in a block of flats is that you have neighbours that should be considered.  [response] Dear Complainer, We sincerely apologise for not being able to hover across the balcony in our very noisy stilettos. We will in future attempt to be home at 2:44 and if late fly across the main landing or teleport into our flat. Lovingly, Bramber residents

Of course, the above complainer isn’t the only person who has a problem with stilettos…a.k.a. “fucking shoes”?

STOP PLEASE NO Fucking Shoes or Heels In My House! Or Leave! I don't care who you are!! Have some respect for My House Damnit! What!!! Say Some thing!! Thank you!!! :)

related: The two-word compromise you’re looking for: zip wire

Tags: door-slamming · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · London · neighbors · noise · rainbow-colored · shoes · signed with love · smartass · that's disrespectful

Daddy’s little smartass

August 16th, 2009 · 47 Comments

Nick in Florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” He quickly pulled out his iPhone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

I'm sorry Dad, Chelsea :)

Meanwhile, Lisa in Maryland spotted this in front of a small computer store near her office.

My Dad said change the sign so...I did :P

Sigh. Children are such a blessing!

related: and pull up your sign

Tags: car · Florida · kids · Maryland · Moms & Dads · smartass · smiley

Soyf*ckers Anonymous

June 22nd, 2009 · 358 Comments

Spotted by our anonymous (and uninvolved) submitter on the office bulletin board at a “super mega corp” in Columbus, Ohio…where apparently a vegan “safe space” is, um, kind of in order (sob).

Vegan? Vegan, vegetarian or vegan-curious?  Casual, non-judgemental support & opportunities to connect!  Monthly meetups within the community.  JOIN NOW! The Columbus Vegan Meetup Group  Carnivore? Chances are you don't need some wimpy support group. Keep being AWESOME!

related: P.S. bacon is life

extra credit: Passive-aggressive vegan grocery cashier, a day in the life [McSweeneys]

P.S. Like this post? See more like this by following @panotes on Twitter, on Facebook, or via RSS!

Tags: clip art catastrophe · Columbus · food · most popular notes of 2009 · office · smartass

Venting machine

February 10th, 2009 · 92 Comments

If you’ve ever bought Twizzlers from a vending machine, you probably know that there’s a good one-in-three chance that one tiny corner of the plastic packaging is gonna get stuck — and bang on the glass all you want — only yielding after an extra 75 cents is inserted. Some folks, however, aren’t willing to condone that kind of stubbornness in their packaged sweets.

DO NOT BUY THE LICORICE IT DOES NOT WORK. The licorice doesn't work? No, it doesn't. It just lays around on it's mothers couch all day watching Judge Judy and collecting unemployment. (smart ass!)

related: Who’s the smartass?

Tags: Canada · CAPS LOCK · office · rebuttals · smartass · stealing · Toronto · vending machine drama

They were shivering, not dancing

October 24th, 2007 · 142 Comments

Chris has held on to this note from his college days at SUNY Binghamton since 1990, which I believe makes this the oldest note to grace this site thus far.

The years seem to have given him some perspective on the situation, and Chris fully admits to being the apartment’s “thermostat tyrant,” always nagging everyone to turn down the heat at night (to 55 degrees) and especially over holidays and long weekends. But this note from his roommate was apparently enough to show him the error of his ways.

Chris - Yes, the heat was on 60 degrees all weekend. I was afraid about my hamster's health. Please write date + time for my death below. Kill hamster too? (Check yes or no)

After this, Chris says, “I did relax with the thermostat nagging, I think.” (The hamster was unavailable for comment.)

related: We ALL live here

Tags: Binghamton · college life · New York · roommates · smartass · temperature

And pull up your sign

September 25th, 2007 · 95 Comments

Writes Mel in Beaufort, South Carolina: “Our city has decided to go with those shorter, more pleasing-to-the-eye signs for businesses. All new businesses have had to have them for a few years now, but existing businesses are just starting to have to replace their signs. I guess the local liquor store wasn’t too pleased.”

OUR RIDICULOUS CITY COUNCIL ORDERED THIS SIGN MUST BE DESTROYED BY SEPT 26

related: And pull up your pants

 

Tags: raging against the machine · smartass · South Carolina

studying up on bedside manner might not be a bad idea

June 5th, 2007 · 38 Comments

CC found this note in one of the study carrels at her large midwestern med school:

cubicle.jpg

this was her response:

cub2.jpg

(she continues on a second page.)

Tags: college life · excessive underlining · Michigan · moving/not moving · smartass

Thanks for eating my lunch

June 5th, 2007 · 12 Comments

(Charlie in Los Angeles did not eat your lunch.)

PLEASE RETURN CREAMER TO FRIDGE WHEN YOU ARE DONE. [thanks for eating my lunch...AND MINE!] [No problem Guys. Bring some more tomorrow. :) JP

Tags: excessive underlining · group bitchfest · Los Angeles · office · office fridge · smartass · smiley · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Who’s the smartass?

May 31st, 2007 · 23 Comments

From Lindsay in Burbank:

Who's the asshole?

Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”

And from Jason in New Haven:

PLEASE DO NOT PUT MILK CARTONS ON REFRIGERATOR DOOR

(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)

If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.

Tags: Burbank · California · Connecticut · food · milk · New Haven · office · office fridge · rebuttals · smartass · stealing

No smelly foods

May 21st, 2007 · 16 Comments

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

related: NO FISH in the microwave!

Tags: excessive underlining · food · group bitchfest · microwave · odor · office · smartass