Entries Tagged as 'odor'

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

June 19th, 2011 · 63 Comments

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

Attention Neighbours!!!!!!! There is a discussing [sic] PIG among us. Someone is leaving bags and bags of garbage in our hallway and stairwell. This has been recurring in the last few weeks and must be stopped! These bags were large garbage bags that were fully, smelly, and already had flies coming from them. Whoever you are, I am watching out for you! And now, so too will your neighbours! You should be ashamed of yourself! If you are this dirty, I am sure your apartment is also a reflection of that. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN THIS BUILDING, THAT WE DON'T WANT FLIES, COCROCHES [sic] OR ANY BUGS ASSOCIATED WITH IMPROPER HYGENE [sic]! Or people like you! GROW UP! Signed, A responsible member of society!!!!!!

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · grow up · hygiene · neighbors · odor · public shaming · spelling and grammar police

I can feel your teeth clenching from here :)

March 22nd, 2011 · 74 Comments

Be afraid, roomies. Be very afraid.

maybe someone should do the dishes? because it kind of smells like shit in here :D (i won't be doing them because I've done them the last 4-5 times) LOVE YOU GUYS :)

related: I don’t complain.

Tags: "helpful" advice · dishes · martyr complex · odor · roommates · signed with love · smiley

Civil diso-brattiness

November 28th, 2010 · 124 Comments

“My boyfriend, Alex, lives in a high-rise apartment building occupied by college/university students — people you’d think would have some intelligence,” says Meghan in Hamilton, Ontario.

Of course, a little learning is a dangerous thing. In Alex’s building, this seemingly civil request from one of the building’s residents garnered the following indignant response.

Please smoke on the balcony.  Everyone's apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.

No I won't!  What next? Don't cook Currie or fish Don't use smelly cleaners Don't perk coffee Don't bring food into building. I can smell it Don't drink, you stink up elevators Don't take shoes off, smelly feet Don't fart or burp, I can hear it and smell it.  Move to a smoke free hotel room.

But Meghan says her favorite thing about this exchange is the placement — right next that big ol’ city-mandated “no smoking” sign.

NO SMOKING: City of Hamilton By-law 80-258 Maximum Fine $5000

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: Canada · neighbors · odor · Ontario · questionable logic · rebuttals · smoking

Memo to all employees (including specifically you)

November 18th, 2010 · 105 Comments

Taylor in Tulsa, Oklahoma works — well, worked — at the front desk of a hotel. “When I started this job,” he says, “we were told we could eat in the back office so that if it got too busy we could stop our lunch and help out, but apparently my offensive burrito was over the top.” Taylor swears the dirty dishes weren’t his, but he was laid off anyway — after which, he adds, “the note was promptly removed.”

(“Outback,” by the way, refers to the employee dining area, not the steakhouse known for its “delicious” bread.)

The AYS staff is leaving dirty dishes behind the front desk. Eating is not allowed in the offices unless it is something minor like a bagel or a company sponsored meal like pizza. AYS associates are to take their breaks and eat in the Outback. Surfing the web while having a STINKY BURRITO and then leaving the dishes for someone else to clean up is not how we do it here. If you cannot abide by this we will address it using progressive discipline as outlined in the Associate Handbook.

Meanwhile, at a small office in Canada, our submitter says one of the company’s directors has a similar habit of sending out a pedantic “just FYI”-type memo to the entire staff each time she has run-in with another co-worker. (And yes, our submitter says, they’re always in Comic Sans.)

Hi all, It is with regret that I have to circulate the following email. Please understand that I would not send this message if it was not a big problem for me. As a person that is severely sensitive to smells I have to ask for your help. I am very sensitive to body odour and hope that folks in the office can be aware of this and try to minimize odour for the comfort of all office staff, including specifically me. Our space is small and when in a small room together the odours can be quite strong. Stale body odour on clothes can be avoided by regularly washing and changing clothes. Keep one's breath fresh, regular brushing, using mouthwash or breath mints/gum. Also, to avoid spreading germs to other office staff, given the onset of flu season, please wash hands frequently. Sneeze into a Kleenex and discard right away or sneeze into your sleeve not your hands. If you are under the weather the HR policy allows for sick time, so please stay home until you are better.

related: Complimentary body spray for all employees!

Tags: "helpful" advice · a little patronizing · all-staff e-mail · Comic Sans Alert · dishes · fired · food · hygiene · memo · message to all intended for one · odor · office cop · Ontario · Tulsa

Papa’s John

October 31st, 2010 · 82 Comments

If you needed another reason to be happy you don’t live in Utah, Justin brings us this explosion of bad ideas from a Provo office park.

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

(I’m going with “Team None-of-the-Above” for this one.)

Why did you put this in the bathroom trash? It makes me really uncomfortable to go to the bathroom when I smell food...Sometimes I can't go, & this is really unhealthy for my body!

I put this in the bathroom (to act as an air freshener) b/c when you crap and leave the door open the smell comes down the hall into my office. I can't work when I smell your BM. If I can't work, I can't make money to buy food for my kids. That can't be very healthy for my kids not to eat. Please shut the door after you crap so I don't have to smell it!!! Thanks!

related: The bathroom walls are NOT soundproof.

extra credit: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pizza Air Freshener

Tags: bathroom · guilt trip · odor · pizza · Provo · questionable logic · rebuttals · shit · that's disgusting · that's unhealthy · toilet · Utah · WTF?

Courtesy & Cojones

September 21st, 2010 · 35 Comments

Both Lauren and Maureen took note of this sign outside a fish warehouse in an industrial area of Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

“I found the combination of ‘Balls’ (capitalized!) and ‘Courtesy’ a hilarious mix of politeness and vulgarity,” Maureen says. “I also thought it was funny that they are offended not only by the neighbors’ complaints but by the fact that people don’t complain to them about the smell.”

If You Have any Problems with Fish Odor, Please Have the Balls and Courtesy to Complain to Us Directly

related: Eau dear

Tags: Brooklyn · excessive capitalization · fish · odor

How NOT to raise your neighborhood’s property values

September 19th, 2010 · 61 Comments

Tim lives in Northwest D.C., “at the front of the gentrification wave” flowing east from Dupont Circle. “We have (only) one rundown/uninhabited house on the block,” Tim says, “and this morning one of the other neighbors decided to mow the front lawn to tidy it’s appearance a bit.” While taking out the trash later that evening, Tim noticed that his neighbor’s good deed had been rewarded by this neighborly thank-you note.

Dear whoever mowed this lawm [sic], FUCK YOU VERY MUCH. If you're actually responsible for this property, clean up the fuck hobo shit laying around. The entrance to the cellar smells like 100% human feces. THANKS FOR THAT, ASSHOLES.

(As far as the smell goes…perhaps some people were under the same mistaken impression as those near this West Hollywood residence?)

This is a lawn, not a fucking diaper, thank you. Love, The people who live here

related: Gentrification is insanit(ar)y

Tags: D.C. · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · Los Angeles · odor · shit · signed with love · thanks (but not really) · that's disgusting · there goes the neighborhood

I’m sorry if this is rude, but…your mere presence offends my delicate sensibilities.

August 10th, 2010 · 85 Comments

Our submitter in Orange County, California came across this note on a table at the local public library while studying for the Bar Exam. “I figured the added noises would simulate the noises during the actual test,” our submitter says. “Apparently the noise isn’t the only thing that bugs some of the other patrons.” (What’s really bugging me about this note: WHAT IS UNDER THAT WHITE-OUT STRIP ON THE FIRST LINE?)

I'm sorry if this is rude. But...You smell. And you've been scratching your body constantly. Please go take a shower when you get home. I'm studying for an important exam and your lack of hygiene is affecting my concentration.

Meanwhile, Daryl in Vancouver, B.C. spotted this pinned to the bulletin board at his gym. I don’t know if this means I’m going soft, but the thought of creepy bicycle-shorts guy walking up to the bulletin board and reading this while all of the other little kick-boxing vixens look on actually makes me feel sorry for the guy.  The note’s amusing, I guess, but it also seems a little…below-the-belt, no?

Bicycle shorts are an incredible invention. For the avid cyclist, the form-fitting design allows for freedom of movement temperature control and comfort. But when worn to a boxing class, especially in conjunction with a baby blue tank top, they can pose several dangers both to the wearer and those around him. Beyond the obvious aesthetic perils bicycle shorts can create by highlighting abnormally small genitalia, these types of shorts, when worn with a sky blue wife beater, create unease and discomfort among female classmates. This is mostly due to the fact that in 1928 the official uniform of sexual predators was declared to be black bicycle shorts paired with a powder blue tank top. Thankfully, in 1929, boxing shorts were invented, thereby eliminating any chance of someone showing up to a boxing class dressed as a convicted rapist.

related: You seem like really nice people, but…

Tags: a little insensitive · attire · gym · library · mean girls · noise · odor