Amber received this amazing note in an envelope on her doorstep in Sacramento. “I have no idea which neighbor sent this to me, but I can only assume it was the paranoid-looking woman who lives above me,” she says. “But I don’t do drugs. I don’t even smoke cigarettes!”

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You might think a hermit-like Warcraft addict would make the ideal roommate (no noisy sex, no hogging the remote…) but as this little piece of passive-aggressive gold demonstrates, there are some other issues to contend with. Like, say, the stench.

(From an anonymous submitter in Portland, Oregon.)

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By popular demand, Ellen in Acton, Mass. has sent in a photo of the note that appeared next to the one about spitting in the water fountain on her gym’s suggestion board…

The original “no spitting” note has since been taken down, Ellen says. “In its place was one saying that people should stop focusing on the negative since the gym and the staff were really quite good.”

Since then, she adds, “O have not noticed any lugies in the drinking fountain. Progress?”

Semarr prefaces this submission by saying: “I realize it’s not particularly *passive* aggressive, but in context it became so.” She explains:

There were eight people living in the house. One of them collected shelter cats and kept them in the basement. I found this note when I had come home from work very late at night. By morning, the board was blank and Jon L-W denied it ever existed, and all roommates at the next ‘house meeting’ refused to admit there were any aggressive undertones in house. Jon said he loved the cats. Other earlier voiced-behind-backs complaints were whole-heartedly denied.

Adds Semarr: “I moved out a month later.”

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This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

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Along with the Mad Bomber series, I’d say this note is one for the hall of fame. There are so many amazing elements here I can’t even pick a favorite.

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I agree with Katrina in Ann Arbor, Michigan — the last  ”…etc.” bullet point is what makes the sign totally genius. And, apparently, effective.

Katrina adds, “Our microwave is a pristine fucking sanctum suitable for storing, say, the Dead Sea Scrolls, so maybe people are leaving the shrink wrap on their Lean Cuisines.”

It started with “no smelly foods,” says Kathleen, and escalated from there.

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