Entries Tagged as 'smiley'

Can’t you go back to parking down by the river?

March 5th, 2014 · 13 Comments

Writes Jack in Seattle: “A friend of ours is a professional tile setter and general handyman. Sometimes he stays over and parks his work van on our block. We found this note on his windshield one morning after Sunday brunch. It’s so typically ‘Seattle’ it’s hard to be offended.”

No offense but this van looks hella creepy at night.  can you park it in front of someone else's house from now on.  I'd really appreciate it.  Thanks :) -easily creeped out neighbor

Meanwhile, Charon noticed that this van-owner in Couer d’Alene, Idaho did get offended, “apparently because he owns a creepy van and people pointed out that it was creepy.”

hey lady I own a home next to the school, I like this van, and now I've been profiled for driving home. I work at the Hayden Library, my wife nurses the dying, you owe us an apology.

P.S. Van owner: Maybe “I own a home next to the school” wasn’t the best way to get your point across here?

related: I don’t know you, and this is crazy…but your boyfriend’s hot, and your parking’s lazy.

extra credit: the 10 creepiest vans [jalopnik.com]

Tags: Idaho · kinda creepy · parking · Seattle · smiley

Neat freaks on speed

December 17th, 2013 · 128 Comments

Our submitter in Boston says she found this note on the kitchen counter “after my evil roommate abused some Adderall and stayed up cleaning, organizing, and generally banging around till an obscene hour.”

I am so sorry that I cleaned the entire house again. I am also sorry for doing everybody's dishes + cleaning up after their dishes. Have fun trashing the entire apartment. Especially since you have never been loud :)

Adds our submitter: “I can’t wait until the day when I live alone.”

related: The patron(izing) saint of roommates

Tags: Boston · cleaning · mean girls · roommates · smiley · thanks (but not really)

Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

March 18th, 2013 · 92 Comments

Jessica in Portland, Oregon was on her way home when she saw this note taped to her neighbors’ door. “I’m best friends with the guys this was addressed to,” she says, “and they actually are very loud when they get down to business. It doesn’t usually bother me because I work night shifts, but obviously it is wearing down the woman downstairs.”

Dear guys from 3D! :) I am the always dreaded downstairs neighbor. As much as I'm happy that you boys have a flourishing relationship...wait...that sounds stalkerish. I meant, I can only assume you have a flourishing relationship due to the fact that you shag. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Now I'm not saying to because you're a gay couple. I wouldn't care if you were flying, purple unicorn dinosaurs. In fact, I'm a huge gay rights supporter. But seriously, EVERY NIGHT?! It's awesome you have a healthy sex life but I don't want to hear it. I'm tired at the end of the night/day (I work irregular hours, you see) & being woken up by or coming home to what seems to be a torture session by the screaming and begging, is not my idea of refreshing. Don't stop by any means, but please quiet down, please? Besides that, you are delightful upstairs neighbors and seem awesome if your music is anything to go by! :) Sincerely - Tired (and now sexually frustrated)

(The “happy ending”: Jessica says her friends sent a note back saying they would try to be more considerate.)

related: WE CAN SEE YOU

Tags: most popular notes of 2013 · neighbors · painfully polite · Portland · sex sex sex · smiley

Happy Moving!

March 4th, 2013 · 167 Comments

Writes Chelsa in Canada: “My first night moving in, I couldn’t find the bolts to put my bed frame back together, so I had to unpack some boxes and it was about 10 p.m. before I found them and could set up my bed. Moving sucks, right? Apparently at 10 p.m. on Saturday night, screwing in 8 bolts is THE WORST thing a person can do. This note was on my door in the morning.”

Good Morning! We noticed that you moved in last night. Welcome to the building! We also noticed that you are very handy with power tools; you like to build furniture and drag it and other things across hardwood floors. All we ask is that you could please refrain from doing these things after dark. Unfortunately for everyone this building is not in the least soundproof. We are also hoping that it's not too much to ask for you to not wear shoes across the hardwood floors; it's much louder for us than it is for you. We know we may be loud from time to time, but we will always try to be respectful of our neighbours. All we ask if for the same in return. Happy Moving :)

 

related: The Neighborhood Warning Wagon

Tags: Canada · neighbors · noise · smiley

Are you Facebook friends with your landlord?

December 3rd, 2012 · 59 Comments

Ryan’s friend M is “…very direct, let’s say.” So when her property management company sent Facebook friend requests to her and her housemates — after ignoring countless communications about various maintenance issues — Ryan knew the results would be “interesting, let’s say.”

no problem! i did it because you're useless and ignore my texts and emails so i thought i would try this. fix our shower! its been broken since we moved in!

related: Well, that’s one way to get your landlord’s attention

Tags: Facebook · landlords and property managers · public shaming · smiley · Wales

Pumpkin Spice & Minnesota Nice

November 14th, 2012 · 19 Comments

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

enjoy. Tastes better than it smells then why don't you drink it :) Now now children I AM NOT A CHILD!! sounds like somebody has mommy issues

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · note wars · office · smartass · smiley · tea

If you get Vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU!

November 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

Hi, a warning!! If you get vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU! If you scrape old margarine back into the tub, I KILL YOU!  In fact, if you touch this margarine you'll have to work very hard just to stay alive. :)

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Tags: Australia · butter · die bitch die · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · smiley · warning

FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching

Before you came into my life I used to sleep in — I used to sleep, sleep in

September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey you just moved here! And it's early! But here's my window! So Shut Up Maybe!

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley

This cereal is now yours to control.

August 30th, 2012 · 92 Comments

Samantha‘s note about her Kindle seems to have hit a nerve with many of you. As commenter ae wrote, “The ‘it’s MY Kindle you know’ line would have gotten me the “Oh, did you pay for it with your own money?’ line from my parents.”

Well, Lea in Los Angeles seems to come from that same school of parenting. When she and her husband found this demand stuck to the cereal box this morning, they decided to teach their daughter, Chela, a little lesson.

This cereal is now yours to control.

related: My evil Mom

Tags: cereal · kids · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · rebuttals · smiley