today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (hey there, commenters!)
this first note, as spotted by dana in san francisco, needs no further introduction.

next up: michelle in orlando says this note posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “our uniforms include a vest made [...]

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k, so, we’ve all seen a million notes like this…

(check out that sad little orphan S!)
 
 
 
…but it actually takes a real mother to poke a hole in that logic.

related: your mother doesn’t work here. or here. or here.

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this note, from michelle in denver, displays the remarkable lengths that some people will go to avoid confrontation.
and, adds michelle: “this bright-green gem wasn’t the only priceless thing visible. on the cubicle wall closest to the refrigerators was a camera…and it was actually connected to the computer and recording a live feed. this is why [...]

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nick in florida was in his car one day, when he “pulled up at a light, looked to my left, and immediately started laughing.” he quickly pulled out his iphone, snapped a photo, then get stepped on the gas before daddy dearest could get out and beat the crap out of him.

meanwhile, lisa in maryland [...]

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as always, facebook users are keepin’ it classy.

and a couple of doozies from stfu, marrieds:

related: tant pis, mon amie

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sydney spotted this bizarrely self-satisfied bit of scripture in a friend’s downtown berkeley apartment building.
says sydney: “i personally think the bible verse adds a nice touch of guilt, but it’s the emoticon smileys that really put the whole thing over the top for me.”

(also…what exactly has the note-writer been doing while holding those keys ransom [...]

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writes devra in san luis obispo, california:  “i’m visiting my parents in napa, where they both work at wineries. they recently found out that i smoke cigarettes, and though i’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. my mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, [...]

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just remember: smashing packets of condiments might be a festive way to celebrate, but it’ll cost you.

(thanks to coral from minnesota for the photo)
related: deviled egg, anyone?

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you decide: which masterpiece is most worthy of the lisa frank award for the most artistic expression of repressed rage?
is it exhibit a, from a hip-hop retail store in california?

exhibit b, from an american college dorm?

or exhibit c, from a shared apartment in guelph, ontario?

oh, and ladies? as you busy yourself with your construction paper [...]

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travis’s bud josh — a cable guy in delaware — snapped this photo while out on a repair call.

meanwhile, elaine in california is wondering if phil makes housecalls, too.  “i always get up and open the blinds in the morning to let the light in,” she says. “as soon as my roommate gets up, she [...]

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first of all, the disclaimer: our anonymous submitter in houston lives in an apartment complex with very limited parking for residents. “when i come home from work late at night,” she explains, “the handicapped parking spot is typically the only one available.” that excuse, however, doesn’t seem to cut it for one of her neighbors.
as [...]

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our anonymous submitter in seattle, an artist, used to pass the downtime at his day job by doodling on boxes. “they know it was me,” our submitter says, but instead of, you know, confronting him, management decided — in true passive-aggressive style — to hang this critique up for all to see.

related: just a friendly [...]

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writes liz in dublin: “i’m submitting a message i received via facebook to show that while facebook is a great place to reconnect with old friends, it is an even better place to reopen decade-old wounds of teenage angst.”
explains liz: “the e-mailer and i never spoke in high school, and i thought it was odd [...]

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technically, mike in boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2’s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.
explains mike: “we only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” once [...]

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it’s the question of the day: have you voted yet?
if NO, please consider the following (from campaign field offices in “fake virginia” and philadelphia) before heading to the polls.

if YES —  why not celebrate your participation in the democratic process in the most american way possible: buyin’ stuff!
related: herbie goes to washington

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ah, young love.

related: facebook: a place for frenemies
extra credit: thumbspeak [thenewyorker.com]

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need another sign we’re officially in a recession? how ’bout three?
    
 

related: “no” questions asked

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in this edition of facebook friday…an assortment of cat fights in the making, plucked from the newsfeeds of the innocent facebookers caught in the crossfire!
exhibit a)

exhibit b)

exhibit c)

the smiley face there is a nice touch, but my favorite this time around has to be this doozy of an about-face (read from the bottom up):

related: no [...]

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(my roommate disagreed.)

now it’s my turn: happy birthday, kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)
related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

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spotted by an anonymous bullshit cop in knoxville, tennessee…

related: facebook schoolyard smackdown

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