Entries Tagged as 'smiley'

Pumpkin Spice & Minnesota Nice

November 14th, 2012 · 19 Comments

In Manhattan, a shortage of pumpkin spice lattes triggered mayhem overshadowed only by an actual disaster.

In Minnesota, however, it seems that some folks still haven’t heard the news that “Pumpkin is the New Bacon.”At our submitter’s office in Minneapolis, a proffered can of pumpkin spice tea sparked a Midwestern snark-off, complete with smilies.

enjoy. Tastes better than it smells then why don't you drink it :) Now now children I AM NOT A CHILD!! sounds like somebody has mommy issues

related: Grow an orange tree and grow up

extra credit: The Inescapable Pumpkin Spice Trend [thekitchn.com]

Tags: Minneapolis/St. Paul · note wars · office · smartass · smiley · tea

If you get Vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU!

November 12th, 2012 · 55 Comments

Writes Catherine in Melbourne: “I was preparing breakfast in the office kitchen when I opened the fridge and reached for the margarine tub to butter my toast. Ten seconds later, I was fearing for my life.”

Hi, a warning!! If you get vegemite in the margarine, I KILL YOU! If you scrape old margarine back into the tub, I KILL YOU!  In fact, if you touch this margarine you'll have to work very hard just to stay alive. :)

related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter

extra credit: Australians Losing Their Taste for Vegemite [time.com]

Tags: Australia · butter · die bitch die · Melbourne · most popular notes of 2012 · not-so-veiled threats · smiley · warning

FU Load Letter

September 26th, 2012 · 37 Comments

Writes our submitter in Houston: “The secretary on our floor is never at her desk — so much, in fact, that she’s been reported numerous times. We recently got a new office copier and somehow she decided that she has ownership of it. Based on the note below, it looks like someone needed help and was a little frustrated that, once again, she couldn’t be located.” Aaaand troll mode activated!

PLEASE SEE ME IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IN REGARD TO THIS MACHINE OR HOW TO OPERATE OR CLEAR A JAM. DO NOT START PUSHING BUTTONS OR OPENING THINGS IF YOU ARE UNSURE OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING. SEE ME FOR ASSISTANCE. THANK YOU.   Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

Adds our submitter: “The secretary EXPLODED when she saw that someone had the nerve to touch her machine.”

Went to your desk. You weren't there. Pushed LOTS of buttons. :)

related: My Secretary, Sybil

Tags: Houston · office · oh no you didn't · overzealous secretary · smartass · smiley · touching

Before you came into my life I used to sleep in — I used to sleep, sleep in

September 18th, 2012 · 60 Comments

Welcome to the neighbourhood! xo, Carly Rae Jepsen

Hey you just moved here! And it's early! But here's my window! So Shut Up Maybe!

related post:

Or I’ll call the cops, maybe?

Tags: Canada · have a nice day · most popular notes of 2012 · neighbors · noise · smiley

This cereal is now yours to control.

August 30th, 2012 · 92 Comments

Samantha‘s note about her Kindle seems to have hit a nerve with many of you. As commenter ae wrote, “The ‘it’s MY Kindle you know’ line would have gotten me the “Oh, did you pay for it with your own money?’ line from my parents.”

Well, Lea in Los Angeles seems to come from that same school of parenting. When she and her husband found this demand stuck to the cereal box this morning, they decided to teach their daughter, Chela, a little lesson.

This cereal is now yours to control.

related: My evil Mom

Tags: cereal · kids · Moms & Dads · money · most popular notes of 2012 · oh snap · rebuttals · smiley

Admit it, you hate us.

May 17th, 2012 · 72 Comments

A few months ago, Christie in North Carolina joined a group on Meetup.com, but never found the time to attend any of the actual meetups. This, it seems, is a serious breach of Meetup netiquette. Recently, the group’s owner did Christie the favor of explaining why she was being kicked out of the group — for her own benefit, of course.

Soooo....*twittles [sic] thumbs* its been more than 3mths and you haven't joined us ONCE??? Admit it, you hate us, and I can imagine its gotta be pretty darn annoying to get so many notifications from a group that you DON'T want to participate in SO, ....let me to do you a favor... Ill remove you from this group and if you ever have a change of heart you can come back. :-) HOWEVER, keep in mind we are an active group and only active members are invited, so I'll have my eye on you! Tough love hurts but somebody's gotta do it or you'll never try something new! Welp until next time.... *tear

 

Tags: "helpful" advice · e-mail · North Carolina · painfully polite · smiley

Monster in my bed

April 22nd, 2012 · 129 Comments

Writes our submitter in Virginia: “One of my (two) roommates is convinced that someone is sleeping in her bed when she is not here. Even though NO ONE has slept in her bed, angry text messages have been exchanged about these mystery sleepover guests, but (like everything else) she has never confronted us face to face. The other night, I stumbled across this gem on her pillows when I dared to enter her room to turn off the light she leaves on for days upon days.”

Do NOT sleep in my bed. I will be able to tell, and I will be PISSED. I respect your stuff, so please respect mine. And if you think this note is weird, I think it's even weirder that you're in here reading it. :)

related: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Quarters

Tags: roommates · sleeping · smiley · Virginia

When frenemies attack

April 17th, 2012 · 90 Comments

Well, girls, I’d say you have at least few things in common…unfortunately for the rest of us.

ATTN Roomies: You are jerks for locking me out of the room while I was in the shower. I hate you all. We have nothing in common anymore, and are officially no longer friends. That is all. -Caley

Dear Caley, We did that on purpose. We all secretly hate you. We have nothing in common. -Ayesha :) P.S. We're gonna do it again...

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

Tags: college life · heart · mean girls · roommates · smiley · Texas

Hello, 911? My neighbors are loud walkers!

March 11th, 2012 · 154 Comments

Writes Chelsea in Colorado: “This is just hilarious. Their bass shakes our floor at all hours on a pretty much daily basis, but they’re upset because…we walk loudly?”

Hi, As much as I understand your guys' frustration with our loud music on the weekends, (which by the way you've made clear through your stomping) it IS within the

related: How now, Mad Cow?

Tags: college life · Colorado · neighbors · noise · non-apology apology · smiley

Love, Numb Nuts

February 20th, 2012 · 44 Comments

Ty — an innocent bystander in this situation — saw this reply note taped to the door of his apartment building in Omaha. “I LOVE it!’ says Ty. Me too, Ty. Me too.

Polite neighbor — Thank You for that lovely note reminding me how crappy my car is...but just for you, I just spent more $ than my car is worth to fix it!! So sleep tight :) Love, Numb Nuts P.S. I really am sorry that you had to hear it. I know how annoying it is, but next time be a little nicer...please.

related: Save the earth, kill the kids?

Tags: car · heart · neighbors · Omaha · p.s. · smiley · thanks (but not really)