Entries Tagged as 'smiley'

“I don’t need a birthday cake,” I said.

September 12th, 2008 · 115 Comments

(My roommate disagreed.)

Fuck you! I made a cake anyway :)

Now it’s my turn: Happy birthday, Kim! (emoticon emoticon emoticon)

related: an occasion that blue mountain arts has yet to animate
extra credit: cake wrecks

Tags: birthday · Brooklyn · cake · Park Slope · roommates · smiley

Making time for the important things in life…like Facebook apps.

September 5th, 2008 · 65 Comments

Spotted by an anonymous bullshit cop in Knoxville, Tennessee…

OMFG — I have more important things to think about (like my child) than your stupid ass middle school drama! Get over it & leave me alone! Have a nice day :D

related: Facebook schoolyard smackdown

Tags: Facebook · Knoxville · smiley

Franger al fresco

July 26th, 2008 · 118 Comments

Geetha in Sydney says this note appeared in the shared dining room the day after the city’s gay Mardi Gras. The best part? “A few people admitted the condom might be theirs, but nobody would take credit for the note.”

To the owner of this condom, the backyard is no place for the use of such things. Please use rooms provided. :)

related: Dearest roommate

Tags: roommates · sex sex sex · smiley · Sydney · visual aids

“So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that’d be great.”

July 24th, 2008 · 234 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter from Canada: “I got back to my desk after lunch on a Friday and found this heartfelt note on my keyboard. I was touched.”

Thanks for all your hard work this week on the report. I had to fix almost everything because of you. There were mistakes (a lot.) I stayed late. It was TONS of fun!!! have a great weekend and don't worry about all those mistakes :)

Adds our submitter: “I worked my ass off on that damn report!”

related: Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!
extra credit: TPS report cover sheet

Tags: Canada · office · smiley · thanks (but not really) · TPS reports

The womb that would birth a thousand excuses

July 8th, 2008 · 214 Comments

The most irritating part of finding this note propped on her keyboard, says Jackie in Philly, is that she wasn’t the person who requested dark chocolate in the office vending machine. “In fact, I can’t stand the stuff!” (In that case…hello, baby shower gift?)

Hi Jackie, Since you requested the dark chocolate, please eat it. The pregnant person needs chocolate & your bars are taking up valuable space for GOOD TASTING chocolate. :)

related: Bun — er, — pizza in the oven

Tags: office · Philadelphia · preggers · smiley · vending machine drama

Three things your health teacher didn’t tell you about herpes

June 18th, 2008 · 109 Comments

(A Passiveaggressivenotes.com public disservice announcement)

1. From Portland, Oregon…

FYI - a recent study at Harvard Medical School linked a rare, disfiguring and painful form of genital herpes to leaving dirty dishes in the sink. Be careful out there.

2. From Williamsburg, Virginia…

Stealing ice cream gives you herpes. :)

3. From Miami, Florida…

Surgeon's General Warning Entering Starbucks now greatly increases your chance of contracting herpes.

related: Come get some

extra credit: Herpes: it’s got New York by the balls [nymag.com]

Tags: college life · FYI · Miami · not-so-veiled threats · now that's not true · Portland · roommates · smiley · Starbucks · stealing · Virginia · warning · whiteboard · Williamsburg

Oh sweetie, I love it when you talk dirty!

June 10th, 2008 · 150 Comments

“My friend Katelyn’s roommate left her this note before she went away for Memorial Day weekend last year,” says Monica in Boston. “I love how it starts off so BFF-like…then takes a sharp left into passive-aggressive territory.”

oh sweetie, i love it when you talk dirty!

Adds Monica: “While Katelyn normally likes to avoid confrontation, I think this note pushed her over the edge. She didn’t empty the trash or rinse a dish the entire weekend, and they spent the next three months before their lease ended in a passive-aggressive standoff (purposely being loud when they knew the other had to study…’accidentally’ breaking the other’s belongings, etc.) Good times!”

related: (They match the plastic slipcover on the futon)

Tags: cleaning · college life · dishes · heart · mean girls · p.s. · roommates · smiley

(They match the plastic slipcover on the futon.)

May 7th, 2008 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter lives in what she says is a typical college apartment, one that is “not decorated according to any theme.” And yet, in a transformation a college freshman taking Lit 101 might describe as “Kafkaesque,” one of her roommates has been replaced by your [fill-in-your-own-ethnic-stereotype-here] grandmother.

These towels were meant as decoration towels! Please don't use! Thanks :)

Adds our submitter: “These weird towels wouldn’t dry two fingers, much less two hands, so we don’t use them anyway! (Maybe if they weren’t so ugly…)”

Towels for decoration only!

related: Text me at work if you want to talk!!

Tags: a matter of taste · bathroom · college life · most popular notes of 2008 · roommates · smiley · Wisconsin

Oh, she said it.

April 30th, 2008 · 129 Comments

Ellen in San Francisco says this note is but the latest development in what has become a toilet paper-thin relationship with her passive-aggressive roommate. It started two months ago, she says, when her roommate “decided after six months of sharing that I was no longer allowed to use her toilet paper. I should mention that she never once asked me to chip in for toilet paper, and I never really had an opportunity to buy more because she bought it in bulk and we always had a huge supply.”

Ellen obliged “until this morning, when nature called and I had just run out.” When Ellen got home, this work of art (my favorite line: “now that we’ve settled this”) was waiting for her.

Do not use my toilet paper. I know you have done it before in the past but stop! And don't get made, we both know you do.

Adds Ellen: “Funnier still is that this roommate freaked out on another roommate for leaving a note. She yelled at her, ‘If you have a problem with me, talk to me, don’t leave me a note. Be an adult about it!’ Nice to see she followed her own advice.”

related: it always comes down to the toilet paper

Tags: bathroom · money · paper product fairy · roommates · San Francisco · smiley · toilet paper

Two points for honesty

April 24th, 2008 · 226 Comments

Writes our anonymous submitter: “I work as a payment processor for a local ambulance company. I see lots of notes scribbled on bills, but this one was a first. At least he/she is honest! :)”

I won't pay this, and you can't make me! :)

related: three cents for the saliva

Tags: Michigan · money · raging against the machine · smiley