Entries Tagged as 'smoking'

subtle on the nose, with an oddly cloying finish

June 24th, 2009 · 56 Comments

Writes Devra in San Luis Obispo, California:  “I’m visiting my parents in Napa, where they both work at wineries. They recently found out that I smoke cigarettes, and though I’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. My mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, [...]

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Tags: moms & dads · odor · smiley · smoking

if she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 169 Comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening.  He [...]

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Tags: actually totally reasonable · california · moms & dads · piss · smoking · toilet

For Mr. Korean

April 29th, 2009 · 148 Comments

“There are many ethnicities crammed into a fairly small area here,” writes John in Singapore, “and sometimes there are…frictions. The red bin referred to in the note (at the bottom of the photo there) is an incinerator for firing up offerings to various deities/dearly departed by Chinese Buddhists. They are all over the place here [...]

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Tags: Singapore · Uncategorized · smoking

over and over – the warning (passive-aggressive remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 Comments

laid back? i’ll give you laid back. in fact, i’ll spell it out for you: janice will break your legs.

(thanks to peter in milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)
related: be informed, homeland security will be

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Tags: crazypants · milwaukee · pure poetry · say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · you call that punctuation?

where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 70 Comments

from an anonymous heathen in washington, d.c.:

related: it must have been a pretty big bite

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Tags: bold underlined italics · d.c. · exclamation-point happy! · neighbors · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting

It’s not food, mister — it’s ice cream!

November 29th, 2007 · 100 Comments

Tourist traps have the best signs. More proof? This exercise in subtlety is from Provincetown, Mass., where it was spotted by intrepid vacationer Teresa from Boise.

Exhibit b) is from Washington, D.C., in a store Sam says sold “all sorts of crap, from Nixon and Michael Jackson pins to African drums and sweaters.”

And in Las Vegas, [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · beverages · blitzkrieg approach · cape cod · d.c. · food · ice cream · massachusetts · questionable logic · smoking

Be informed, Homeland Security will be

November 6th, 2007 · 199 Comments

PES picked this note out of an apartment building in Newark, New Jersey in 2004 because he loved the third paragraph, which is oh-so-amazing. Add in the peculiar diction and the glorious redundancy of it all, and you’ve got one fucking delicious note.

related: Your to lazy
extra credit: For more deliciousness, be sure to check out [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · gloriously redundant · graffiti · jersey · landlord · loitering · newark · not-so-veiled threats · questionable logic · shameless meme-mongering · smoking · vandalism

now finish up them taters, i’m gonna go fondle my sweaters

November 2nd, 2007 · 487 Comments

writes tessa, who works at a restaurant in albuquerque: “the day manager left this note for the night cook, who does spend all night smoking, watching TV and calling his girlfriend on the business phone.” (i’m sure this note will absoutley set him straight.)

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Tags: albuquerque · now that's management · restaurant · smoking · spelling and grammar police

Your to lazy

October 15th, 2007 · 178 Comments

Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway [...]

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Tags: TLDR · cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlord · missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · vandalism · your/you're

This aggression will not stand, man

September 22nd, 2007 · 163 Comments

As a little weekend bonus, I bring you this screed from the Smith Daily Jolt’s alumnae forum. Yes, it’s long.

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Tags: TLDR · bathroom · e-mail · garbage · just an asshole · martyr complex · money · not wrong · posted online · rebuttals · roommates · sig o · smoking · that's a fire hazard · university