Entries Tagged as 'smoking'

Love, the Landlord

July 13th, 2011 · 112 Comments

Jon’s assessment after a night of partying: “Totally worth it.”

No smoking  Jon Please clear the porch -Spilled beer -Ash on the kids table -Cigarettes on porch/stairs -Matches  <3 Will

related: Late night beer parties!

Tags: drizzunk · landlords and property managers · Ohio · smoking

The Huffing & Puffing Post

February 17th, 2011 · 67 Comments

When he first moved in, says our submitter in Melbourne, the apartment across the way already had the two big handmade nuclear posts in the window. Two months later, up went the note at the left about unneighborly acts like obscene “jestures” (which makes me envision of motley crew of courtyard jugglers giving the finger to nosy busybodies in the apartments above.) The cigarette notice is the latest addition.

Says our submitter: “I’m tempted to strut about without trousers and see if I can get a mention, too!”

If you have problems with residents of the apartment blocs e.g. antisocial behaviour, laundry on balcony, noise, music, mobile phone conversations, shouting, obscene jestures [sic] Contact: [redacted]. NO Nuclear AUSTRALIA! BAN URANIUM MINING and EXPORTS! First floor flat opposite throwing cigarette butts into the street. Ground floor flat likewise.

In the meantime, his other neighbors seem to already be getting in on the act.

POLITICAL MESSAGE - POINTLESS SIGN

(As always, just click on the images to enlarge them.)

related: WiFi for Passive-Aggressives

Tags: "helpful" advice · Melbourne · neighbors · note wars · raging against the machine · smoking

This Christmas, give the gift of honesty

November 30th, 2010 · 93 Comments

While helping her dad clean out her grandmother’s old apartment, Amanda says she found this incredible “love note” tucked in a bottom drawer. “All my dad could say was, ‘Well, romance wasn’t always your grandfather’s strong suit.’”

12-22-88  Here is a present for you.. I'm not certain just which brand you smoke but I think that after 35 years of sneaking, lying, cheating, stealing you can try to be honest about this.  Don't sneak it any more -- I really don't give a damn if you smoke a carton a day and as a matter of fact if you will return the empty I will buy you another -- and if you have a preference let me know as these were $1.50 each. If it will hurry along the process I am all for it but don't expect me to do for your whaty you did for your mother -- get Connie to do it...

related:  I don’t want to hear another damn word about flowers.

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · love & marriage · old folks · smoking

Civil diso-brattiness

November 28th, 2010 · 124 Comments

“My boyfriend, Alex, lives in a high-rise apartment building occupied by college/university students — people you’d think would have some intelligence,” says Meghan in Hamilton, Ontario.

Of course, a little learning is a dangerous thing. In Alex’s building, this seemingly civil request from one of the building’s residents garnered the following indignant response.

Please smoke on the balcony.  Everyone's apartment smells of cigarettes because someone is chain-smoking all day long. Please be considerate of your neighbours.

No I won't!  What next? Don't cook Currie or fish Don't use smelly cleaners Don't perk coffee Don't bring food into building. I can smell it Don't drink, you stink up elevators Don't take shoes off, smelly feet Don't fart or burp, I can hear it and smell it.  Move to a smoke free hotel room.

But Meghan says her favorite thing about this exchange is the placement — right next that big ol’ city-mandated “no smoking” sign.

NO SMOKING: City of Hamilton By-law 80-258 Maximum Fine $5000

related: Cigarettes & energy drinks

Tags: Canada · neighbors · odor · Ontario · questionable logic · rebuttals · smoking

Warnings for the altruistic tourist

June 13th, 2010 · 84 Comments

Juliet from Los Angeles came upon this sign near the summit of a 12-km hike up Turrialba Volcano, in Costa Rica. “As I stared down into giant crater of the active volcano, dotted with sulfur pools, I realized the sign was right. Swimming in those pools probably wasn’t worth the expense.”

It is costly to take an injured or dead person out. Avoid unnecessary expense.

The dryly practical approach seems to be a popular one at tourist locations around the world — especially zoos, such as this one on Langkawi Island:

PLEASE BE SAFE - Do not stand, sit, climb or lean on the fences. If you fall, animals could eat you and that might make them sick. Thank you.

Meanwhile, this resort in the Bahamas adds its own whimsical twist:

PLEASE DO NOT DROP CIGARETTE BUTTS ON THE GROUND. THE FISH COME OUT AT NIGHT TO SMOKE THEM AND WE ARE TRYING TO GET THEM TO QUIT.

related: You don’t need a cell phone to talk to God

Tags: Americans abroad · animal welfare · Bahamas · Costa Rica · Espanol · Malaysia · most popular notes of 2010 · smoking · that's irresponsible · tourists

Subtle on the nose, with an oddly cloying finish

June 24th, 2009 · 56 Comments

Writes Devra in San Luis Obispo, California: “I’m visiting my parents in Napa, where they both work at wineries. They recently found out that I smoke cigarettes, and though I’m sure they disapprove, there has been little to no discussion on the matter. My mom wanted me to go with her to a tasting today, so she printed out directions from Google Maps with this note written on it. I found it waiting on my bedside table when I woke up.”

They don't like strong perfume or smoke odor in tasting room :) See you! Mom

related: And pull up your pants!

Tags: Moms & Dads · Mother-daughter notes · odor · smiley · smoking

If she were really passive-aggressive, she’d get the fence secretly electrified

May 18th, 2009 · 170 Comments

Writes Chris in Riverside, California: “My friend Eric essentially has a LAN center in his garage. Cigarettes and energy drinks are the diet of choice and we (usually 5 to 7 people lanning there at any given time) piss on his fence so we don’t flush the toilet too many times over the evening. He woke up one morning with this note from his mother.”

I’d say Eric got off pretty easy, no?

ERIC - PICK UP THE CIGARETTE BUTTS! NOW & do not piss on the fence! That is so Disrespectful to me & this house! What the hell Eric! There is a bathroom right thru the door! USE IT.

related: WoW, indeed

Tags: actually totally reasonable · California · Moms & Dads · piss · smoking · toilet

For Mr. Korean

April 29th, 2009 · 149 Comments

“There are many ethnicities crammed into a fairly small area here,” writes John in Singapore, “and sometimes there are…frictions. The red bin referred to in the note (at the bottom of the photo there) is an incinerator for firing up offerings to various deities/dearly departed by Chinese Buddhists. They are all over the place here in Chinatown, and everybody knows what they’re for.”

Without a doubt, John says, “The Korean gentleman using it as an ashtray is provoking his neighbors deliberately.” How…how…what’s the word I’m looking for here?

For Mr. Korean

related: it’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

Tags: Singapore · smoking

Over and Over – The Warning (Passive-aggressive Remix)

February 21st, 2008 · 156 Comments

Laid back? I’ll give you laid back. In fact, I’ll spell it out for you: Janice will break your legs.

I'm tired of it  no more smoking for no one not at all but me and my room is no smoking room or using me for a place to smoke your cigarettes at no more my room is my room and no one else's room so don't demand me what to do in my room either Janice

(Thanks to Peter in Milwaukee for documenting — you’re my number one guy!)

related: Be informed, Homeland Security will be

Tags: crazypants · Milwaukee · pure poetry · Say wha? · smoking · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?

Where angels fear to spit

February 13th, 2008 · 69 Comments

From an anonymous heathen in Washington, D.C.:

Dear Those Who LOITER/SMOKE in THIS PARTICULAR HALLWAY: This is not a place where you can place your trash!!! People actually live here, believe it or not, and frankly, we're sick and tired of cleaning up after grown people who can go outside and do their business !!!!!!! The last thing people who actually work and have a life in this APARTMENT BULIDING [sic] WANT TO SEE WHEN THEY COME HOME IS ASHES, CIGARETTE BUTTS AND SALIVA (OR SPIT, FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT READ) IN THIS HALLWAY!!!! GO AWAY AND DO YOUR BUSINESS ELSEWHERE, WE'RE VERY SICK AND TIRED OF CLEANING UP AFTER YOU!!! BE A ROACH AND A HEATHEN SOMEWHERE ELSE. Dutifully, Disgruntled Resident

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: bold underlined italics · D.C. · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · neighbors · obnoxious definition · smoking · spelling and grammar police · spitting