Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'

What if God were a cyclist?

September 15th, 2014 · No Comments

Glen found this magnificent notice attached to a lamppost on 4th & Jackson in San Jose.

Stolen!!! You stole my bike! Yeah you did. You came up and grabbed it and knew exactly where it was so I know your (sic) around this 'hood! Seen me riding it before too huh!?! Just wait till (sic) I see YOU riding it! I'll call the cops real quick homie! Oh wait, you sold it? Not likely, it didn't ride very well and the parts were hella old. Doubt anyone wants it anyway, probably won't get you that much. So just bring it back and I'll give you some recyclables. Turn to doing good or face the wrath of GOD!!!

related: I hope you step on a Lego!

Tags: bicycle · God · San Jose · spelling and grammar police

New York City? Get a rope.

July 30th, 2014 · 76 Comments

Our submitter just moved to a small town in South Dakota, and says that seeing this “edited” ad at a diner was the biggest culture shock she’s had yet! “As an art teacher,” she writes, “I was irritated that someone would try so hard to dissuade some kids from pursuing what sounds like a pretty cool experience.”

New York City? Get a rope.

 

related: Hey, redneck

Tags: God · schools & teachers · small town living · spelling and grammar police

Rotten heel, steel toes

June 1st, 2014 · 75 Comments

One of Allison’s coworkers recently became convinced that one of the evening janitors had it in for her shoes — different shoes. On multiple occasions. “Needless to say,” Allison says, “she didn’t last much longer.”

Janitors don't ever put my shoes in the garbage. Your [sic] not nice.

 

I know who you are and you are evil to do this to my shoe and toss out the other one, you will be punished for this. You are disgusting creep O.K.. You will rot in hell.

Meanwhile, Kris in Alabama spotted this note on a locker at his place of business:

It's note nice to steel a Marine's boots. You can't hide.
related: Or I will CUT YOU

Tags: Edmonton · I know who you are · office · spelling and grammar police · you're like so going to hell · your/you're

Prison? Or the prison or hurt feelings? You decide.

April 30th, 2014 · 20 Comments

Sarah in Philadelphia calls this note, from a much-beloved bookstall at the Reading Terminal Market, “the single most adorable and passive aggressive note I have ever read in my life.”

If u do not abide by the rules you will be confined to the prison of hurt feelings for ever

Meanwhile, as Jenna shows us with this sign from an Albuquerque Antiques Mall, the “adorable” approach doesn’t work for everyone.

If you steal here you may just die here theives [sic] beware I hate you!!!!

related: May you get a seriously itchy bum!

Tags: "customer service" · i before e

Unthightly and unsymphatetic

November 12th, 2013 · 62 Comments

Alrighty, folks. Yesterday’s “millennial-bashing” post seemed to stir up outdoor-cat levels of ire, so I think it’s time for a day of healing. I’ll even set aside the issue of “passive-aggressive” vs. “just straightforward aggressive.” Cheap laughs for all, courtesy of Sarah in Providence and Peter in New York!

PLEASE CLOSE DOOR  THIGHTLY AT ALL TIMES. BETTER SAFE THEM SORRY.

'Gentlements' be 'symphatetic enough' not to use: 'ladies restroom' thanks management

related: “Employees” must “wash hands” with “soap”

Tags: bathroom · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks"

Drag Queen Problems

September 22nd, 2013 · 47 Comments

Spotted backstage at a resort in St. Petersburg, Florida — drama! 

ALL DRAG QUEENS: ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT JOBS AS A QUEEN IS LIPSYNCHING!!!!!! WE HAVE RECEIVED MANY COMPLAINTS ABOUT PERFORMERS NOT KNOWING THEIR WORD. THEREFORE WE WILL BE WATCHING VERY CLOSELY WEATHER [SIC] YOU KNOW YOUR WORDS OR NOT!!!! WATERMELON, WATERMELON, MOTHER FUCKER, WATERMELON WILL NOT WORK ANYMORE. IF YOU DO NOT KNOW YOUR WORDS YOU WILL NOT BE PAID FOR THAT NUMBER!!!! THATS ALL QUEEN.............

Or, as RuPaul put it:

related: Stripper Problems

Tags: bold-underlined-caps · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Florida · most popular notes of 2013 · spelling and grammar police

Failure to Yeild

August 14th, 2013 · 81 Comments

“My spelling skills are a perpetual work in progress,” admits Kelly in Calgary. “When I told my sticky-note-happy coworker about my most recent spelling mistake caught by my boss, she decided to take action.”

YIELD — i before e except after c...bla bla blah — yIELd - IE  — yield yield yield

related: A personal pet peive

Tags: blitzkrieg approach · Calgary · i before e · office · smartass · spelling and grammar police

It’s hard out there for a tanning salon owner

August 6th, 2013 · 37 Comments

As if the clients pissing in the trash cans weren’t enough…the owner of this tanning salon in Boston also can’t afford spellcheck.

I fired the fat, ugly, pig for stealing from me This inconvenience was brought about by her Sorry  Will reopen soon

related: In case you were wondering why we’re closed

Tags: Boston · don't blame us · fired · opening/closing · passive voice · spelling and grammar police · TMI

Actually, we have a garden for that

July 22nd, 2013 · 54 Comments

Rachel in the U.K. found this note pushed through the letterbox this morning. “This the first note either I or my boyfriend have had regarding any kind of ‘leek,’” she says. “I just checked both the bathroom and the kitchen for anything watery where it shouldn’t be and there’s nothing, so I’m very confused. I’m not sure what she wants us to sort, either. Exciting stuff!”

This is the second time Ive had to wright to you. and I'm slowly getting annoyed. You seem to have a leek in your bathroom that is slowly ruining my newly decorated bathroom. I now have bubbles and cracks in my ceiling which will now need repainting! If you don't get it sorted I will and the bill will be fixed to your address! No. 26

related: Drippy faucets

Tags: bathroom · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · U.K.

People should no

July 21st, 2013 · 37 Comments

Rob lives in a seaside town in the U.K. He and several other neighbo(u)rs recently received versions of this handwritten note, seemingly written by an ex-employee of a hot dog stall at a nearby fairground.

Writes Rob: “It’s not quite clear who the notewriter is or exactly what the problem is. Is it the hot dogs? It is the van? Is it the terrible grammar? It is the writer responsible for the ‘handling’ of the ‘disgusting’ food? Who is the mysterious friend who was ill for 3 weeks? What is it that people should ‘no’?”

Mrs Shearan and her daughter own a hot hot dog & burger van at the fair ground, I worked.  For them, and found the handling of the food was disgusting they have been warned, if you visit them this easter they are not what they seem next to the hot dog & burger van they have a childrens amusement their name is on the van,  (people should no [sic] about them iff [sic] they have children, my friend was ill for 3 weeks)

related: Small-town swimming pool rules

Tags: food · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · U.K.