PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » spelling and grammar police

You’re a good student, but not my best speller

Kerry — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 19:19:01 +0000

Writes Mrs. McMahon in Melbourne, Australia: “One of the students in my class decided to make a a big card for World Teachers Day and have it signed by all her peers in our grade. When I read this message, I could not stop laughing.”

What am I, the office sugar mama?

Kerry — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:43:52 +0000

Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”

A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.

God may love you, but I can’t speak for the rest of the office

Kerry — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:02:12 +0000

Various religious-themed notes have been popping up all over our submitter’s workplace in Phoenix, Arizona. “Several co-workers have found these messages in their offices, stuck in between papers, and written on whiteboards,” she says, but so far no one has come forward to claim authorship.

One of most recent notes showed up in the office kitchen one morning.

Another note turned up beside it sometime after lunch.

Perhaps your boss is due for a little chat with HR?

Kerry — Wed, 28 Sep 2011 20:44:36 +0000

The sign to the left was posted by the boss at an office in Oneonta, New York. (Adds our submitter: “He claims the spelling was autocorrected by Word.”)

Without even getting into the finer points of what might constitute a “hostile work environment,” I think it’s safe to say that encouraging your employees to commit suicide isn’t the best management technique.

(Of course, some managers might disagree.)

Oh, sure, blame it on the crackhead.

Kerry — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 19:30:54 +0000

Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)

From Akron, Ohio:

From Toronto:

From New York City:

From Pueblo, Colorado:

From Phoenix:

From Seattle:

And lastly, from South London:

In case you’d forgotten that you are but a tiny, eminently replaceable cog in this vast machine…

Kerry — Fri, 19 Aug 2011 00:12:27 +0000

Your corporate overlords would like to offer this friendly reminder of how much we value our employees!

related: Recession incentive plan

Nobody puts Baby in Dance Detention

Kerry — Tue, 16 Aug 2011 23:24:59 +0000

J.T. got a kick out of this permission slip, which his co-worker had to sign before her 17-year-old son was allowed to go the first high school dance of the year. (Apparently “leave room for Jesus” just doesn’t cover it these days.)

I’m loving the concept of “dance detention,” but the name of the high school is really the cherry on top.

extra credit: The world’s largest dance detention performance [youtube]

Must have the precious…

Kerry — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 20:28:12 +0000

Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.

I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)

Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”

Beware of argumentative farm animals!

Kerry — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 02:31:26 +0000

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2

Colonel Mustard? Meet Major Peteve.

Kerry — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 22:05:19 +0000

“As far as I know,” says Meagan in Ohio, “my boss, an early-40s white lady named Sandee, is a native English speaker.” I made sure to double-check with Meaghan on this, because, well — just read the thing.

As Meagan points out, her boss “does not seem to understand that the pet peeve is the thing you shouldn’t do…or that ‘peteve’ is not a thing…or really, anything. How could you hit ‘print’ on this?”

Except to underline the fact that Meagan’s place of employment is a winery — one where open bottles of wine seem have to have a tendency to be strewn about willy-nilly — I must say I have no idea.

related: My pet peeve

Really, Garry, you had me at “plese.”

Kerry — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 04:56:11 +0000

I asked our submitter if she might be able to snap another photo of this memo/notice — one without the ghostly reflection of the man in the wifebeater — but alas, she says, it has since been taken down and replaced with a new memo offering a $500 reward for information leading to the culprit still vandalizing the elevator.

And yet, now that I’ve spent a little time with this image (in all of its beautiful absurdity), I’ve come to feel that it just wouldn’t feel quite complete without wifebeater man. Because this, my friends, is a work of art.

related: Thx Sandra

So, you were hoping to get an A for “asshole-like entitlement”?

Kerry — Thu, 05 May 2011 03:53:33 +0000

Our submitter in North Dakota, an instructor at one of the state’s institutions of higher learning, found this note left behind by a student in one of her English Composition classes. “We had begun meeting in a computer lab two classes prior,” she writes, “something which had been announced at the beginning of the classes leading up to the room switch as well as on the syllabus.”

But you know, “nobody likes to have to dig your syllabus out.” That’s like, a total drag, dude!

Seriously, kids today(!!!)

extra credit: “In the Basement of the Ivory Tower,” by Professor X [theatlantic.com]

Your not narmal, Sneeky

Kerry — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 03:06:56 +0000

Tina in Jacksonville, Florida was in the process of moving out of her current apartment — apparently not a moment too soon — when she spotted this note on the door of her downstairs’ neighbor.

I’m not sure which is more disturbing: the content of this note (as best as I can follow it) or the truly sic spelling and punctuation. Altogether, it just kinda freaks me out.

So thanks, Tina, for giving me another reason to avoid what is probably my least-favorite state. (Not that I don’t cherish my time with you in Clearwater, Grandma Cookie!!!)

See you never again in my life

Kerry — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 15:55:16 +0000

Writes Tracie in Sleaford, England: “My daughter Daisy (9) is a super kid…until she’s asked to tidy her room.”

(Then she’s just downright adorable.)

P.S. “Fillets” is the name of the fish & chip shop in town.

related: (I’m Gonna) Run Away