Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'

Some advice on roommate living

April 28th, 2009 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter was mildly amused when he noticed this little hypothetical how-to pop up in his Facebook feed. But the real kicker, he realized, is that the one person tagged in the note happens to be (ouch) the notewriter’s current roommate.

some advice on roommate living

Adds our submitter: “To my surprise, the girl never commented on it, but I’m sure she got the message — she was called out!”

related: Some dating advice

Tags: Facebook · frenemies · roommates · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police

This!! Is how!! You know!! We mean it!!!

March 31st, 2009 · 128 Comments

Writes Desiree: “This is a note at the express (stamps-only counter) at a very busy post office in Washington, D.C.. They are apparently!! very!! uptight!! like everyone else in D.C. (myself included)!!”

STOP!! NO ADDRESSING!! NO PACKAGING!! OF ITEMS AT THIS COUNTER IS ALLOWED AT ANY TIME. THANK YOU, THE MANAGEMENT

Meanwhile!! in Florida…

DO [sic] TO EXTENSIVE FOOD THEFT!!! THIS ROOM IS NOW UNDER VIDEO SURVEILLANCE!!

And! in Los Angeles!

SAY!!! HI! HOW ARE YOU!! WITH SMILE SMILE! SMILE! SMILE!

related: This is why your postal worker is disgruntled

Tags: CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · exclamation-point happy!!!! · going postal · spelling and grammar police · You call that punctuation?

The Candyman Can’t

March 13th, 2009 · 155 Comments

“One morning last summer,” writes Stephanie in Illinois, “my brother and I arrived at the company where we worked to find these notes posted to the candy vending machine. (Mind you, it was 8:45 a.m.) Apparently, the man who fills the vending machines — a.k.a ‘Mr. Candyman’ — had failed to restock the machine for a week, and the ladies of the office had had enough.”

I mean, really. we’re talking about a serious breach of the social contract here, people!

A [sic] Empty Machine is Unaceptable [sic]! Mr. Candyman, you did not keep your WORD! This machine has been empty since Tues last week.

Stephanie and I were both particularly tickled by the the “gas prices” note at top right. (“What does that even mean?” she wonders.)

Gas prices are high but that doesn't do much when our stomach starts to growl!! Hungry!!

Meanwhile, Lisa in Nashville spotted this note posted on the vending machine in the studio arts building at Vanderbilt University. “There had been many previous notes asking (nicely) for more Twizzlers,” Lisa says, but as desperation set in, at least one distraught staff member decided to get lyrical on Candyman’s ass.

Candyman, oh candyman...,Where have you gone? The twizzler slot is empty. Oh yes, we have none. What burden we bear, what sadness we hold, for we thought twizzlers we soon would behold.

related: The Pepsi Challenge

Tags: candy · food · Illinois · office · pleasantries as afterthought · questionable logic · raging against the machine · sad face · spelling and grammar police · vending machine drama

Silent protest

January 27th, 2009 · 101 Comments

Tara in Vancouver organized a meetup for “progressive, radical and lefty librarians” at a place called Subeez Cafe. It wasn’t until afterwards — when she took a look at the contact sheet she’d passed around — that she realized at least one attendee was less-than-pleased with her choice of venue.

“They didn’t complain to me directly, they didn’t even write it on the front of the paper,” seethes Tara. “Were they hoping for a bucket of hummus at a squat?”

Subeez is neither radical or progressive!

related: a matter of taste

Tags: politics · spelling and grammar police · unsolicited feedback · Vancouver

Southern Comfort

January 18th, 2009 · 121 Comments

Though the issue might not be top of mind for sophisticated and urbane readership of this website, let this serve as your warning: Should you find yourself in, say, Fayetteville, Arkansas (like Melissa, a California expat currently attending the U of A) you’ll soon realize how important it is to lay down the law with regard to proper cud disposal.

I know that we live in Arkansas, and we like our tobacco, but the water fountain is not a spit cup for you're [sic] chewed tobacco. It is clogging up the drain. Please refrain from using the water fountain for this purpose.


Of course, when you live as far north as Baltimore and notice that your boss has taken to spitting chaw in your trash can, the situation becomes that much more dire.

Spit in my trashcan and I'll take a dump in yours :)

related: evidently, yes

Tags: all-staff e-mail · Arkansas · Baltimore · garbage · southern charm · spelling and grammar police · spitting · your/you're

Sigh-ned

January 11th, 2009 · 89 Comments

Our anonymous submitter in Cleveland found this note taped to the office paper shredder. “My first thought was, ‘Wow, this person has issues deeper than the full shredder.’”

HEY YOU! Yeah, YOU!! EMPTY THIS EVERY TIME!! THAT YOU USE IT!! SIGHNED [sic] - TICKED OFF!!

related: Especially Deborah

Tags: Cleveland · crazypants · exclamation-point happy!!!! · high on highlighter · office · Ohio · spelling and grammar police

The rules for strip bingo

December 8th, 2008 · 61 Comments

Spotted in the basement of a New Jersey church where people play bingo all the time. Adds submitter Yamis: “I guess we know the demographics of the crowd.”

IF YOUR [sic] COLD WEAR A COAT. IF YOUR [sic] HOT TAKE IT OFF. IT YOU GET HOT FLASHES WEAR LESS. -THE GENERAL

related: More like hardly working

Tags: CAPS LOCK · New Jersey · old folks · spelling and grammar police · temperature · your/you're

Sincerely, disappointed

November 20th, 2008 · 126 Comments

Our anonymous submitter says this display is just one of many microwave missives his coworker has created. “Someone tore it down and threw it on the floor once,” he says, “but she put it back up, laminated with heavy-duty tape.”

WHOEVER HAD THE GENIUS IDEA TO BLOW UP PAPER, OR WHATEVER YOU USED, IN THE MICROWAVE AND DIDN'T CLEAN IT UP, KUDOS TO YOU AND YOUR SLOPPY BEHAVIOR. I'M ASSUMING YOU LIVE EXACTLY LIKE A PIG.

WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEAN: 1. Free from dirt; unsoiled; unstained 2. Free from foreign or extraneous matter 3. Habitually free of dirt WEBSTER'S DEFINITION OF CLEANLINESS: Neat, immaculate, clean, clear, pure refer to freedom from soiling, flaw, stain or mixture

And of course, the art-imitating-life inspiration for this post: Pam Beesly.

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

To whoever made the microwave mess: The microwave is a SHARED kitchen appliance.  By not cleaning it up, you are basically telling whoever follows that their time is less valuable, as they will have to scrub out your disgusting splatter. Sincerely, Disappointed

Hey anonymous Coward who left the note: Be a Man. Spend less time writing notes and more time cleaning up the microwave.

related: To each his own microwave

extra credit: The Office: “Frame Toby”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · fiction · high on highlighter · microwave · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · not-so-veiled threats · obnoxious definition · office · spelling and grammar police

“That’s what she said”

November 18th, 2008 · 201 Comments

Spotted by Randi in Charlotte, North Carolina, this one’s straight out of the Michael Scott playbook.

Do not forget to say hello to our special employee of the month Janet G. She may be slow, but she trys.

related: to the victor goes the bile

Tags: faint praise · most popular notes of 2008 · North Carolina · now that's management · oh no you didn't · spelling and grammar police

The Scarlet Status Update

November 14th, 2008 · 189 Comments

Today’s Facebook Friday submission comes from an anonymous onlooker in College Park, <aryland. (read from the bottom up.)

GUESS WHO CHEATED ON ME AMANDA

related: I challenge you to an emoticon-off!

Tags: ex drama · Facebook · spelling and grammar police