Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'

An arguably heated dispute

November 11th, 2008 · 363 Comments

Technically, Mike in Boston only has two roommates, but roomie #2′s ever-present girlfriend has become the apartment’s de facto fourth resident…the non-rent-or-utilities-paying kind.

Explains Mike: “We only have one thermostat for the whole apartment, but our rooms are so tiny that we can typically keep the heat off and the place stays at 68-70 degrees.” Once winter came, however, the girlfriend wasn’t too pleased with this arrangement…and took to surreptitiously cranking up the heat into the mid-80s.

After one too many nights of waking up in a sauna, Mike and his allied roommate decided to fight back —in true passive-aggressive style — by removing the (detachable) thermostat from the wall. Drama, of course, ensued.

It's Fucking Freezing. Put the Heat thing back. If you think it's nice cold then open your window. It doesn't get warmer without the Heat.

Mike’s roomie then posted a counter-attack:

If your [sic] cold turn the heat on at YOUR APARTMENT! Otherwise...we took a vote 2 to 1 heat stays off. :)

Grammar aside, that one pretty much did the trick.

related: kill hamster too?

Tags: Boston · energy usage · oh snap · roommates · smiley · temperature · your/you're

It’s Pat!

November 5th, 2008 · 60 Comments

On a recent road trip around southern Maine, Noelle and her friends Hilary and Misha spotted this puzzling little note posted in the back of a gas station convenience store.

Pat [redacted] has no authoreity [sic] over anyone, not employees, salespeople, or customers. Pat's job is maintenance of the laundrymat [sic]. Store and grounds and stocking the cooler.

When they left, Noelle says, “The manager ran after us, screaming, ‘What were you girls doing, taking pictures of my store like that?!’” Noelle and her friends fessed up, explaining that they thought the note to Pat was funny, is all. The manager’s reply: “Oh, Pat! Soon as we put up that sign, he quit! That was five years ago. Haven’t seen him since! We just haven’t gotten around to taking the sign down yet.

related: all your baristas are belong to us
extra credit: “laundrymat”

Tags: CAPS LOCK · gas station · Maine · now that's management · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police

The most disgusting thing

October 30th, 2008 · 123 Comments

Says filly in New York: “I think it’s safe the assume the writer is neither a) an English major or b) a feminist.”

The most disgusting thing is a nasty lady!!!! How can you use the bathroom and not clean after yourself!!!! Be hygenical [sic] and consider others!!!! Do yourself and the rest of us a favor. Clean up after yourself, you are not at home!!!!!!!!

related: more from the frontlines of post-post feminism

Tags: bathroom · CAPS LOCK · college life · exclamation-point happy!!!! · hygiene · most popular notes of 2008 · New York · office · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet

The return of Thx Sandra

October 20th, 2008 · 149 Comments

Casey in Human Resources may have moved on, but not to worry — Thx Sandra is here to solve our global climate crysis!

Hello Ladies, This is your friend the thermostat. He likes to be at about 70 degrees in the winter and summer. If you are warm please look behind you and you will see a window. If you open that window fresh air will come in and cool you off. If you are cold you can use a space heater for $3 per week please see Casey in Human Resources if you need to sign up to rent one. Please be aware that our planet is in crysis [sic] and we need to take measures to reduce the trash we throw away and the energy we use (which includes the ceiling fan in Accounting!!!!!) and the recycle bins in the break room. I am sick of being the only conciensios [sic] person here. Thx, Sandra

related: It takes a “genius”

Tags: anthropomorphism · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · energy usage · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · recycling · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · temperature · The Earth · thx

Seriously distruping

October 8th, 2008 · 77 Comments

Found on the street by Joe in Somerville, Mass…

Ruthie, You have been asked many, many times not to leave notes. As this DISTRUPS the work of my fellow employees. Please respect my fellow employees and stop leaving notes. Thank you...

related: Oh, the irony

Tags: CAPS LOCK · meta · Somerville · spelling and grammar police

A “discussion” on shoes

October 2nd, 2008 · 108 Comments

My favorite part of this two-page glory? The flash of insight on page 2: “I realize that last sentence is phrased as a question, but really it is more of a statement.”

(flip over for a discussion on shoes)

Shoes...let's get some shoes.

related: care, it makes a difference

Tags: CAPS LOCK · cleaning · confusion??? · exclamation-point happy!!!! · grow up · high on highlighter · martyr complex · roommates · shoes · spelling and grammar police

Coming soon: the all-you-can-spell buffet

August 31st, 2008 · 80 Comments

Jesse says he spotted this sign at a great Mongolian restaurant in the Dallas area. “They recently changed their name from Ton’s Mongolian Grill to Tao’s garden, but apparently they haven’t figured out how to spell it yet.”

Tao''s Gadren [sic] offers all you can buffet not all you can waste. Thank you!

related: Best. Potluck. Theme. Ever.

Tags: "customer service" · CAPS LOCK · Dallas/Fort Worth · food · restaurant · spelling and grammar police

The right to bear fruit

August 27th, 2008 · 172 Comments

Three U.S. cities where nature-lovers might want to keep their hands to themselves:

1. Austin, Texas

To the people who keep digging up and stealing plants from this garden...The surrounding neighbors have been alerted and are keeping watch now. (Some are ex-Military are not afraid to chase after you or shout.) I'm serious!!! This is private property! You are trespassing and committing a crime. I'm not rich and I like my garden go get a second job if you want plants! I'm warning you!

2. Macon, Georgia

To the Fucktard who stole my watermellon [sic]: It was not even RIPE yet. But I'm sure you didn't notice when you were high on crack. Leave my fucking plants alone! —Proud owner of a .45 and a 38 special

3. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

The Mayor and The Police have been notified — WATCHING for any more Flower destruction and Theft

(Thanks to Don in Austin, Elizabeth in Macon, and Jasmine in Pittsburgh for risking the wrath of some devoted gardening/second amendment enthusiasts to document these warnings.)

related: No “questions” asked

Tags: Austin · blame it on the crackhead · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Georgia · Macon · neighbors · not-so-veiled threats · Pittsburgh · spelling and grammar police · stealing

Cloudy with a chance of hate mail

August 14th, 2008 · 241 Comments

For their daughter’s first birthday, Mr. and Mrs. Schmidt decided it would be fun to throw a casual little backyard get-together at their home in Rochester, Minnesota.

Like the good church-going Minnesotans they are, the Schmidts sent out this e-mail invite to their small-ish congregation of about 200 people, expecting maybe 20 or 30 to stop by for some cake.

Hello St. Luke’s family! Madeleine turns ONE on 8/8/8! To celebrate, she’s hosting her very own backyard tea party on Saturday, August 9th at 1:00 p.m. No gifts necessary – your presence is present enough. :) We hope you and your family will join us as we celebrate the first of many fun birthdays with our little princess. If you have a moment, please RSVP to so we know how many cucumber sandwiches to make. :)

Mr. Schmidt happens to be the local TV weatherman, but neither of the Schmidts could have predicted the outraged response they received by mail a few days later (unsigned, with no return address).

Mr + Mrs. Schmidt: I think I've heard everything now. Who invites every adult that they know to a 1 year old's birthday? If you want free toys, baby cloths [sic] and cash gifts why doesn't Mr. Schmidt just annonce it on his always wrong weather show? Why do you have to burden every person within hearing range to run out and buy a card and a gift. You two truely [sic] are a pair of complete asses, that doesn't say to [sic] much for your parents. How long are you going to terrioze [sic] this community?

Adds Mrs. Schmidt: “We have no clue who sent it, and decided we’d have to laugh it off or go crazy trying to figure it out…so I’m doing my own passive-aggressive act and posting it here.”

related: An occasion that Blue Mountain Arts has yet to animate

Tags: birthday · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · Minnesota · Moms & Dads · most popular notes of 2008 · spelling and grammar police

Signed with a Glasgow kiss

August 12th, 2008 · 107 Comments

Rodti and Laura Elizabeth spotted these charming examples of local Scottish color outside an Internet cafe in Glasgow’s West End.

Folks we have toilets that only paying customers can use. I don't care who you are, how old you are, if your [sic] ill or not i have heard them all, FROM 1 - 100. The answer is no you can't use our toilet! Thank the person who smashed my toilet, don't take your energy out on the staff this was the owners statement!

Toilet poem! for all non customers who wish to use our toilet please read and take note! The pee house! for all the people who need the loo, heres a poem just for you, wether its a 1 or a 2 our lovely toilet is not for you! jog on!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, a grocery story elsewhere in Glasgow displays a similar plea for clemency…one that seems intended for a similar clientele.

Do to delivery error I regret to inform that this shop has no Buckfast at ALL please do not abuse the staff as it is not their fault. Thanks

related: Blame it on Coke

extra credit: Buckfast tonic wine [wikipedia]
The worst toilet in Scotland [youtube]

Tags: "customer service" · apostrophe abuse · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Glasgow · irregular capitalization · not my fault · pure poetry · spelling and grammar police · toilet · U.K.