Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'

All your baristas are belong to us

June 17th, 2008 · 160 Comments

Spotted by Weston in the back room of a Dallas Starbucks…the coffee chain’s recipe for the “keep-our-employees-locked-in-petty-arguments-so-they-won’t-unionize-accino”!

(Add one pump “disgruntled English Lit Ph.d.s” + one pump “functional illiterates”; shake well.)

Please do not put towels in unless they are ring out 1st thanks

related: An extra bold request

extra credit: Starbucks gossip

Tags: bathroom · group bitchfest · Say wha? · spelling and grammar police · Starbucks · towels · You call that a comeback?

And God knows what

June 16th, 2008 · 147 Comments

Most drivers could easily identify these duct-tape wrapped shapes as the universal sign for “Caution: Crazy Person Ahead,” but our submitter in Boston actually pulled over and parked in order to get a better look. Up close, “the signs were even crazier than we thought,” she reports. “Seriously, what happened to this guy?”

Seriously, what happened to this guy?

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 4

Seriously, what happened to this guy? 2

related: Movin’ out (Anthony’s song)

Tags: Boston · CAPS LOCK · crazypants · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · spelling and grammar police · unnecessary "quotation marks" · WTF?

The audacity of theft

June 6th, 2008 · 152 Comments

Writes an anonymous submitter in Houston: “A neighbor in my building put up an Obama yard sign on the door of her apartment around the time of the Texas primary. When it disappeared, I assumed she took it down herself.”

Then up went this note — a cheerful bit of propaganda that oh-so-subtly disproves all those ugly stereotypes about “self-righteous Obama supporters” with a colorful blaze of moralistic tsk-tsking and First-Amendment flag-waving. (Woo! Obama ’08!)

To the not so neighborly Republican or Hillary support who STOLE my Obama sign: PLEASE return it. Although I am unable to locate a stipulation in the lease that prevents the expresion [sic] of my first amendment rights, I would be more than happy to display the sign inside my apartment rather than on the door. However, STEALING is not only illegal, it's downright tacky. Just put it outside my door and I'll take it inside. THANKS! OBAMA '08!

related: A little bit of shameless gloating

Tags: CAPS LOCK · Houston · neighbors · politics · rainbow-colored · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's illegal

Maybe “no teenagers” would have been simpler

June 2nd, 2008 · 142 Comments

Our anonymous submitter spotted this signage at a homemade water park somewhere near Cherry Point, South Carolina.

pool rules

pool rules

related: And pull up your pants

Tags: crazypants · sex sex sex · South Carolina · spelling and grammar police · swimming pool · unnecessary "quotation marks" · you know who you are

It takes a “genius” to come up with a potluck theme like this one

May 28th, 2008 · 353 Comments

Dealing with the rantings of your crazy boss or overzealous receptionist is one thing, but what do you do when your office’s resident passive-aggressive note-leaver doesn’t even work there? Casey in San Diego (a.k.a. RunBarbara) says that’s the situation she’s found herself in at her job.

The offender, Sandra, “has met me a total of twice, both times for less than a minute,” Casey says. Yet for some reason, when Sandra (the aunt of the owner) stops by the office once a week to water the plants and drop off supplies, “she leaves these strange notes EVERYWHERE — and she almost always directs questions about said notes to me,” Casey says. I often have no idea she posts these notes until someone asks me about the odd directions in them.”

Below, a small sampling of Sandra’s delightfully bizarrre directives. (Just click on the photos to enlarge.)

TO THE MEN WHO ARE USING THE "WOMENS" LADIES ROOM

HELLO LADIES Potluck is on Friday!!!!!! The theme is Mongolia BBQ and I will be bringing ribs and hats if you would like one please let me know. Please sign up below for what you would like to bring. If you don't want to "bring" something but still want to eat potluck then please pay $5 to Casey in Human Resources. Some ideas of what to bring are fortune cookies, paper plates, fruit cups, things with no sugar because some ppl are diabetic, to, shrimp, salad, rice, diet drinks because some people like them to. Some things not to bring are cake and forks because we have some leftovers for the birthday potluck. Please sign below and say what you are going to bring!!!!!!! If you have an idea for a theme please talk to Casey in Human Resources. Thx, Sandra

I’d like to think this note was posted immediately following the “potluck”…

Hello ladies, This is the last time I will remind you: If you have to "throw up" please do it in the trash can. Then take the bag out of the trash can and dispose of it down-stairs in the "facilities" dumpster are pipes are old and can't handle "big jobs" like "throw up." Please also don't flush wrappers and trash papers etc because you can just use the trash can!!!!!!!!! Thx, Sandra

related: The return of Thx Sandra!

Tags: bathroom · battle of the sexes · blitzkrieg approach · California · CAPS LOCK · clip art catastrophe · crazypants · dubious scientific claims · exclamation-point happy!!!! · gloriously redundant · most popular notes of 2008 · office cop · party planning committee · San Diego · spelling and grammar police · thx · toilet · unnecessary "quotation marks" · vomit · You call that punctuation?

“Swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning”

May 21st, 2008 · 111 Comments

Writes Bibs in Tacoma, Washington: “My sophomore year in college, I was placed in a campus house with six other girls I didn’t know.  To say the least, we did not really get along, but we made a chore chart so we would all at least have a semi-clean house to live in.” At least, that was the idea.

Things broke down when one of the housemates, Cindy, was confronted with the reality of seven girls sharing one bathroom. After this little display, Bibs says, the chore wheel pretty much went to hell.

swiffer gives cleaning a whole new meaning

related: Landmine in my bloodline

Tags: cleaning · college life · excessive underlining · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · not cool · roommates · spelling and grammar police · Tacoma · to/too · visual aids

The more you know

May 15th, 2008 · 172 Comments

This public service announcement is brought to us by Tully’s Coffee, courtesy of Megan in Seattle.

Point of interest: The barista who cleans this restroom also makes your coffee. Their mood determines the quality of your coffee. Thanks! P.S. Please don't do drugs in here.

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there’d be no books”

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · cranky barista · drugs · high on highlighter · p.s. · Seattle · spelling and grammar police

If your Grandma wrote PSAs

May 1st, 2008 · 157 Comments

J.Star says he found this passive-aggressive twist on the old RSPCA campaign/Scottish band in a Cincinnati parking lot. (Pet-lovers: just to let you know, it was crumpled up on the ground, not on his windshield.)

phpoJDUbk

related: I can has guilt trip?

Tags: Cincinnati · dogs · guilt trip · MYOB · spelling and grammar police

Covering all the bases

April 9th, 2008 · 92 Comments

“It seems too many people have made love to the office water cooler,” says Lizzy in New York. And some of them, it seems, are getting a little sloppy.

Lizzy says the “Office of Water” thing refers to the fact that “Our office is full of water. Like, the fridge doesn’t have anything but bottled water and Coke,” but I’m not quite buying it. I’d like to think this came from the EPA’s official Office of Water (Benjamin H. Grumbles, assistant administrator).

TO: WATER USERS: Lipstick stains have been noticed the water spigot (the faucet). Please keep your water containers away from the spigot. Also if you notice any stains on the water spigot. PLEASE SANITIZE THE SPIGOT IF YOU PUT STAINS ON IT. THIS CAN BECOME A HEALTH ISSUE. WE ARE THE OFFICE OF WATER REMEMBER. YOURS TRUELY [sic]!!! Also if the water bottle is empty please UNPLUG the water cooler. Thanks

Tags: CAPS LOCK · D.C. · double-entendre alert · New York · obnoxious definition · office · questionable logic · spelling and grammar police · that's unsanitary · water

It’s not a race (it’s a social construct)

March 25th, 2008 · 220 Comments

Here’s a trio of notes from California that each make me very uncomfortable…and not just because of the painful lack of irony.

First up: an excerpt from seating guidelines posted at the quaint little Mexican restaurant in Huntington Beach where Brynn used to waitress. So quaint, Brynn says, “They also posted a dress code rule that ladies must wear makeup and skirts could not be below the knee.”

Mexican people prefer a booth

Meanwhile, a little farther south, a construction worker left this note for James in San Diego…while he was parked in front of his own house.

TRY MOVING YOUR TRUCK UP SO THAT ANOTHER ONE CAN FIT ASSHOLE! O WAIT YOUR PROBABLY A FUCKIN MEXICAN!

And the last word goes to this bit of social commentary, which Jen spotted on the window of a soon-to-be-opened restaurant in San Francisco.

Speak English (OK, BITE ME XENOPHOBE!)

related: Je comprends…moi non plus

extra credit: ¡Ask a Mexican!® [ocweekly.com]

Tags: California · casual xenophobia · parking · restaurant · San Diego · your/you're