This exercise in how not to get a job is brought to us by an anonymous submitter in Kansas City. The worst part? Before sending this e-mail, this guy was actually in the top five.
Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'
October 22nd, 2007 · 141 Comments
October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments
This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”
Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”
Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)
October 15th, 2007 · 178 Comments
Those troublemakers requesting more crazy apartment notes can thank our anonymous submitter (a GM at a property management firm in Springfield, Missouri) for today’s masterpiece. “One of our resident managers delivered this letter to 115 units at her property, then e-mailed me a copy because she was REALLY proud of it,” our submitter writes. “I got halfway through and realized I had to send it to you.”
Now, for the complaints…
Tags: cleaning · dogs · exclamation-point happy!!!! · garbage · irregular capitalization · itemized list · landlords and property managers · Missouri · more like crazy · music · noise · not-so-veiled threats · parking · rhetorical question · smoking · spelling and grammar police · TL;DR · vandalism · your/you're
October 12th, 2007 · 146 Comments
When our saga begins, our anonymous submitter’s girlfriend was living in a tiny apartment in Sydney, Australia. Due to space constraints, she was temporarily sleeping on what our submitter admits was “possibly one of the world’s shittiest sofabeds.”
But while the mailbox notes were presumably written first (based on the tone) they weren’t actually discovered until after a third note was slipped under the apartment door…
Mortified, our loving couple did, in fact, move their mattress to the floor. But that didn’t seem to placate their dear nameless neighb, who pinned this note to the the building’s common noticeboard…
“Ironically,” our submitter says, “it was found when we were moving out the horrible couch.”
related: visual aids always help
Tags: "helpful" advice · Australia · awk abbrev · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · most popular notes of 2007 · neighbors · noise · saga · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police · Sydney
October 11th, 2007 · 96 Comments
Our anonymous submitter dutifully passes along this company-wide farewell e-mail, but says: “I have no idea what’s he’s talking about. Holla!”
October 4th, 2007 · 88 Comments
(Green ink is being kicked out by black ink.)
related: I can’t stand this shit anymore.
September 26th, 2007 · 94 Comments
Sounds like somebody in this Seattle office is havin’ a little ‘roid rage.
What’s Muscle Milk, you ask? Well, say its makers, “Muscle Milk is arguably America’s favorite protein.” Apparently because unlike, say, chicken, Muscle Milk comes in flavors like “egg nog,” “chocolate banana crunch” and “root beer float.”
related: Try a bite
September 24th, 2007 · 128 Comments
“You know when you drink so much that you can’t remember what you did the night before?” asks our anonymous Scottish pizza bandit. “Sometimes we’re lucky enough to encounter certain things which trigger memories of our alcohol-fueled rampage. I was lucky enough to come across this the next day.”
September 19th, 2007 · 265 Comments
Attention: corporate emergency in the Chicagoland area!
Meanwhile, in Seattle…
Adds our anonymous submitter, “All the glassware for all departments is washed by the poor lab slaves at least twice a day, and then promptly returned to the shelves. How much glassware are they using that they notice if a beaker or two went missing?”
September 14th, 2007 · 180 Comments
This note, from the science library of Washington & Lee University in Lexington, Virginia, has a bit of a backstory.
Explains our anonymous submitter: “Here, you can reserve a carrel for the entire school year, with two students to a carrel. Our honor system is such that people leave their books and belongings at their carrel basically all the time.” Our submitter caught sight of this little exchange and sneakily made a photocopy to share with us. (Oh, and FYI: “A&P,” our submitter says, refers to Anatomy and Physiology — a popular course that generally only seniors get into.)