Nothing could have prepared Lauren in Oakland for the passive-aggressive avalanche that awaited her the other day at her new apartment. She calls the experience of finding the notes totally surreal. “It keeps playing back in slow motion in my mind, from the second I saw the first one hanging over the threshold to my absolute horror and delight at finding an eleventh one hours later on the bathroom door.” Here’s the theme park version!

“I’m not sure anything in particular prompted it,” Lauren says, “but I live, apparently, in some kind of alternate dimension where full-grown adults believe in chore-wheels, so it could’ve been anything — but certainly not ELEVEN things to correspond with the number of found notes. Then again, I’m not a timebomb waiting to explode, so how would I know?”

related: recipe for roommate discord

Nicky in Elwood, Indiana (a diehard fan of the Indianapolis Colts) put this sign on her office door last week only to find it defaced by a phantom Pats fan each night after she left. Needless to say, Nicky’s feeling quite vindicated today on behalf of both brothers Manning.

tangential: The partly cloudy patriot [wnyc.org]

“The tiny Sioux City, Iowa airport had a jaw-droppingly comprehensive intro to what one could or could not take on board a plane,” reports Timoni from San Francisco, including actual sample-sized bottles of toiletries taped up, show-and-tell style. “The corker, though, was this vehement note near the end (which, yes, had a plastic QUART-SIZE BAG!!!!!!!!! taped underneath).”

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge

Mishee was about to go ahead and just pay for that Snapple…until she saw this colorful little note at a drugstore in Sunnyvale, California. Phew!

UPDATE: Mishee (ever the overachiever) has returned to the scene to satisfy your curiosity about the signs behind the signs…and finds her Snapple-drinking plans foiled in the process!

related: If it weren’t for the toilet, there would be no books

When Julie in Elkhart, Indiana saw this note from her roommate, Molly…

…she decided it was time to go on the offensive.

Then came the counter attack…

…and then Julie photographed the exchange and sent it to us.

Game, set, match.

related: I know where she lives

Margarita spotted this note in the window of a laundromat in San Francisco. Honestly, she says, “I’m more afraid of a vindictive, threatening neighbor than a laundry ‘theif.’”

related: No, that’s not the British spelling

(And much love to our submitter Robin in Sydney!)

“We really don’t hate the holidays,” says our anonymous foreign-policy elf in Washington, D.C., “just passive-aggressive coworkers.”

related: Perhaps a committee to assess the health of the committee?