All I can say is…wow.
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One of our regular trouble makers, Boggywoggy (a.k.a. Val in Oregon) took some time off from the comments section this weekend to go fishing, and decided to grab a quick bite at Waldport, Oregon’s, er, finest: The Flounder Inn. Val spotted this note on one of the restroom stalls.
Adds Val, “I thought about putting my own message about Carrie Lee on the door, just for kicks, but then realized that person probably really meant business!”
“The Healthy Companies Committee,” explains Katherine in D.C., is the name of the office pep squad led by the sender of the e-mail. (“Ironically,” she adds, “he does not seem to be able to deal with his frustration in a ‘healthy’ way.”)
The hilarity of this note is more subtle than say, a “Thank you Terry,” but don’t be fooled: it’s not your garden-variety “do your dishes” note, either. (Pay particular attention to paragraphs one and four.) It’s like something straight out of a script from The Office.
Don’t you wish you could read the earlier drafts?
Writes Kristi in Chicago: “This was sent from our receptionist to the ENTIRE office (except, for some reason, me, until a coworker forwarded it so I wouldn’t miss out on the fun. It’s the receptionist’s job to order supplies and put away deliveries, but apparently she doesn’t like to do any heavy lifting. The last line really sent the office into a tizzy!”
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It’s the second-to-last line that sends me into a bit of a tizzy…
Mary saw this collection of missives while visiting friends in Long Island City, Queens last spring.
Anthony left a note on the door…
Saving his pennies for someday…
You oughta know by now
Workin’ too hard can give you a heart attackackackackackack
And it seems such a waste of time
You should never argue with a crazy mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mind
But she’s not movin’ out.
Tags: landlords and property managers · money · more aggressive than passive · more like crazy · most popular notes of 2007 · moving/not moving · Queens · questionable logic · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police
An anonymous submitter brings us this note from the kitchen of Vermont Theater’s group housing, “where all the techies live.” Unlike other notes we’ve seen attributed to management/the apartment/the cat, etc., our submitter says the bit at the bottom was, in fact, written by the house’s cleaning lady. “Granted,” he says, “the kitchen was messy, but this is from the CLEANING LADY!”
(I’m wondering though, if “messy” might be a bit of an understatement…)
Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.
“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”
In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
Tags: Chicago · danger · drizzunk · drugs · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Moms & Dads · neighbors · noise · nonsensical spacing · not-so-veiled threats · sex sex sex · spelling and grammar police
Amy in Seattle says her favorite part of the note is the children (Please, think of the children!) but I was most impressed by the use of both “being effected” and “being impacted” in a single sentence. Those loud, “vulgar-related” noises might, in fact, be the sound of English teachers around the world crying out in agony.
Then there’s this one, from William over at lowercase l. It was slipped into his mailbox in Brooklyn by a neighbor several years (and girlfriends) ago. considering the awkwardness of the situation, I find it’s actually quite civil. It’s interesting, though, how people feel the need to give elaborate, vaguely scientific justifications (the acoustical properties of the windows, REM sleep) for why they don’t want to hear you getting it on.
I’m just gonna let Ben from D.C. set this one up:
Last October, I moved from one apartment to another on fairly short notice. The kid I found on Craigslist to take my spot really wanted to move in a few days early, which was incredibly inconvenient for me. However, I agreed, so I spent most of Halloween weekend moving my stuff out. The one thing I couldn’t move was my futon, because it wouldn’t fit on top of my car. I figured he’d give me a little leeway though, since I’d done him a favor, and I came back to pick it up November 10. A week later I came home to find this amazing passive-aggressive e-mail from him:
Justin in Winston-Salem, N.C. spotted this classic mom note on the fridge at his friends’ house — with a bonus roommate note, to boot!
Says Justin: “I love the magnet — not sure if it’s supposed to be a letter grade or not, but I prefer to think that it is. If they get an F, I’d get a negative B or so.”
(Wings, corn dogs, taquitos AND mac & cheese? Ah, college.)