An anonymous submitter brings us this note from the kitchen of Vermont Theater’s group housing, “where all the techies live.” Unlike other notes we’ve seen attributed to management/the apartment/the cat, etc., our submitter says the bit at the bottom was, in fact, written by the house’s cleaning lady. “Granted,” he says, “the kitchen was messy, but this is from the CLEANING LADY!”

(I’m wondering though, if “messy” might be a bit of an understatement…)

Our anonymous submitter lives in a 30-story condo building in Chicago. Her father works in the same building, and received this note in the suggestion box.

“I found the letter slipped under my door one day,” she says. “My dad had put it there after reading it with his boss. I’m sure he’s damn proud of his little girl!”

In her defense, our submitter believes the notes allegations to be more than a bit exaggerated. “I have never (that I can remember) regurgitated in the garage,” she says, adding, in the immortal words of Salt n Pepa: “If I wanna take a guy home with me tonight/IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”

Amy in Seattle says her favorite part of the note is the children (Please, think of the children!) but I was most impressed by the use of both “being effected” and “being impacted” in a single sentence. Those loud, “vulgar-related” noises might, in fact, be the sound of English teachers around the world crying out in agony.

Then there’s this one, from William over at lowercase l. It was slipped into his mailbox in Brooklyn by a neighbor several years (and girlfriends) ago. considering the awkwardness of the situation, I find it’s actually quite civil. It’s interesting, though, how people feel the need to give elaborate, vaguely scientific justifications (the acoustical properties of the windows, REM sleep) for why they don’t want to hear you getting it on.

I’m just gonna let Ben from D.C. set this one up:

Last October, I moved from one apartment to another on fairly short notice. The kid I found on Craigslist to take my spot really wanted to move in a few days early, which was incredibly inconvenient for me. However, I agreed, so I spent most of Halloween weekend moving my stuff out. The one thing I couldn’t move was my futon, because it wouldn’t fit on top of my car. I figured he’d give me a little leeway though, since I’d done him a favor, and I came back to pick it up November 10. A week later I came home to find this amazing passive-aggressive e-mail from him:

Justin in Winston-Salem, N.C. spotted this classic mom note on the fridge at his friends’ house — with a bonus roommate note, to boot!

Says Justin: “I love the magnet — not sure if it’s supposed to be a letter grade or not, but I prefer to think that it is. If they get an F, I’d get a negative B or so.”

(Wings, corn dogs, taquitos AND mac & cheese? Ah, college.)

Paddy in Belfast sends us this series of shots from his office kitchen, where several of his coworkers have taken their frustrations with microwave cleanliness into their own hands.

It all started when one day, a microwave appeared bearing this note:

…but SDT wasn’t taking any chances.

Later, a second microwave appeared, complete with its own note:

…which prompted this note on the wall between them:

related: No smelly foods

This series of signs (all made by one person, and pinned up across an entire bulletin board) is among my all-time favorites. The glorious redundancies, the inappropriate quotation marks, the clip art — oh, it’s just too good.

(Yeah, the last one is blurry. Our anonymous Canadian submitter apologizes.)

related: A clue your coworker isn’t up for cubicle small talk

Explains an anony-dad in St. Louis: “I asked our babysitter to fill out a short form for us on a daily basis, letting us know a summary of what happened with the kids during the day — when they last ate, whether they seemed like they were getting sick, that sort of thing. I guess it offended her.”

An awfully long note for someone who doesn’t like paperwork, no?

related: Happy to be of service