Writes Heather in Kentucky: “I keep a basket of candy on my desk, but after having my candy basket completely cleaned out during the night shift on several occasions, I started locking it in my boss’s office overnight.”

A few mornings later, she arrived at her desk to find this oh-so-thoughtful note from one sugar-deprived night-shift worker.

related: This is a candy-optional office

Various religious-themed notes have been popping up all over our submitter’s workplace in Phoenix, Arizona. “Several co-workers have found these messages in their offices, stuck in between papers, and written on whiteboards,” she says, but so far no one has come forward to claim authorship.

One of most recent notes showed up in the office kitchen one morning.

Another note turned up beside it sometime after lunch.

related: There you go, bringing Him into it again.

The sign to the left was posted by the boss at an office in Oneonta, New York. (Adds our submitter: “He claims the spelling was autocorrected by Word.”)

Without even getting into the finer points of what might constitute a “hostile work environment,” I think it’s safe to say that encouraging your employees to commit suicide isn’t the best management technique.

(Of course, some managers might disagree.)

related: Signs you might be stuck in a soul-sucking job

Take it from Whitney, kids: “Crack is whack.” (And it makes you an easy scapegoat for pretty much anything and everything.)

From Akron, Ohio:

From Toronto:

From New York City:

From Pueblo, Colorado:

From Phoenix:

From Seattle:

And lastly, from South London:

related: So if I start selling drugs I can drive an Escalade, too?

Your corporate overlords would like to offer this friendly reminder of how much we value our employees!

related: Recession incentive plan

J.T. got a kick out of this permission slip, which his co-worker had to sign before her 17-year-old son was allowed to go the first high school dance of the year. (Apparently “leave room for Jesus” just doesn’t cover it these days.)

I’m loving the concept of “dance detention,” but the name of the high school is really the cherry on top.

related: You looking pretty is clearly more important than our friendship!

extra credit: The world’s largest dance detention performance [youtube]

Amy and her cousin were enjoying a casual stroll in Toronto when they noticed this note in a neighbor’s garden — a note which Amy says left her with far more questions than answers.

I’d have to agree with Amy that the stand-out line here is the one towards the end about whether the tomato thief ever makes racist or ageist remarks. (Because…huh?)

Adds Amy: “The lack of grammar made me think that ‘young people’ were a new racial group. And why does the note-writer beg the thief to at least return ONE of the stolen tomatoes  — because it’s so precious? And is the last line a threat of being infected by Asian lily beetle poison? I don’t get it!”

related: People of Philadelphia, these tomatoes are not for you!

This indignant note nearly made Mike [sic] with laughter when he saw it posted in the lobby of his apartment building in Surrey, B.C.

(Oh, those Canadians — so hilarious! Even when they’re not trying to be!)

related: A note from Dirty Lady #2