Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'

Dear nice person: you will get caught or cancer and that makes me happy.

February 23rd, 2011 · 62 Comments

Laura in Tempe, Arizona found this note posted in the laundry room of her apartment complex, where it’s common knowledge that if you wash your clothes late at night, you’d best grab as they’re done.

Now, I realize not everyone will appreciate the subtlety of this kind of crazy. And sure, notes about stolen laundry aren’t all that uncommon. But for some reason, the peculiar syntax and semi-twisted tone of this one really got me. English majors, can we get a close reading here?

Dear nice person whom stole my laundry out of dryer 17, you are a low-life and I still recall your acts. You will get caught, or cancer and that makes me happy.

related: Panty raid!

Tags: Arizona · laundry · neighbors · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Tempe

In the words of former President Bush (Yale ’68): “Childrens can learn!”

February 20th, 2011 · 45 Comments

Nope, it’s not just a West Coast thing — you can has exemplary higher education all over the country!

To wit: Marybeth spotted this totally [sic] bulletin board at Central Connecticut State University back in 2006.

HOW IS YOUR EYES? My eyes? My eyes [is] great. Yours [is] not so great.

related: Yes, this is from a college campus.

Tags: college life · Connecticut · smartass · spelling and grammar police

Yes, this is from a college campus.

February 7th, 2011 · 113 Comments

Okay, crazy cat lovers — enough. Let’s get back to a topic we can all agree on, like, say, how some people are OMG soooo dumb. (Lawls all around!) For example, Jeremy claims the colorful banner to the left was posted by an R.A. at a dorm on his California college campus.

related: You say “debackle,” I say…who let you into college?

extra credit: How do you pronounce “Qatar”? [Slate]

Tags: California · college life · RA · rainbow-colored · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police

To whom that wanted my cat bot

February 6th, 2011 · 254 Comments

The proper care of outdoor cats has become one of those issues — like tipping, or whether the toilet paper roll should hang over or under — that will no doubt incite flame wars until the end of time. That said, Lindsay in Oregon was still a bit surprised when this note appeared on her apartment building’s bulletin board, given that “FOUND” posters referencing the same collar-less cat had been posted on said bulletin board for weeks on end.

To whom that wanted to be a superhero and take my cat to the pound, Thank you...Now I can't afford to post bail to get my cat out of kitty jail. Sorry she didn't have her collar on but I have bot [sic] her six of them already. And she hates them and she likes to some how get them off outside. I tried to keep her from the front but she liked all the attention. It's ok tho, My cat was the only thing I trusted and loved. Way to be an outstanding citizen.

After experiencing similar problems with the neighbors (despite the fact that his cat already wears tags with his owner’s phone number on them) Elisa’s friend in Seattle had another tag made in hopes of preventing future trips to “kitty jail” — or at least to piss of the neighbors taking his cat there.

Says Elisa in Seattle:

related: Cat fight!

Tags: cats · money · MYOB · neighbors · Oregon · rebuttals · sarcasm · Seattle · spelling and grammar police · thanks (but not really)

Sorry, I thought those were the *shared* office toenail clippers!

January 11th, 2011 · 68 Comments

Our submitter, Rob in Cleveland, says he found this note on his computer screen upon returning to his desk after lunch one day. “I honestly don’t bring my toenail clippers to work,” Rob says. “They were just hurting inside my pocket so I put them on my desk and forgot about them, and this is what I get.”

Thank you for the use of your clippers. Mine were to[sic] to do my toenails. They were really bugging me & started to destroy linings in my shoes.

At first glance, I thought the note must have been sarcastic — surely, no one would actually borrow another’s toenail clippers, right? — so I asked Rob for some clarification.

As it turns out, Rob is pretty sure the note was no joke. “The guy who wrote it is one of the grossest people at work,” he explains. And as for why he had toenail clippers in his pocket to begin with? Says Rob: “I cut my nails in my car on the way to work.”

Of course. Well, I’m glad we cleared that one up.

related: The Jake Issues

Tags: Cleveland · hygiene · questionable logic · that's unsanitary · TMI · to/too · WTF?

May your New Year be very prosperous…so you can tip me better next time.

January 3rd, 2011 · 63 Comments

Shawn in Pennsylvania found this oh-so-subtly guilt-trippy thank you note tucked inside his Sunday paper. (“Apparently our paper delivery person is hoping for bigger and better tips in 2011,” he says.)

Happy New Year I would like to say to all that gave or didn't give a thoughtful gift. Thank You doing [sic] these economic times, believe me last year was a very tough year for me, you all made the end of my year lot better [sic]. Once again thank you all and may your New Year be very prosperous and blessed.  Your carrier, [redacted]

related: If you don’t tip you’re racist

Tags: guilt trip · holiday spirit · newspaper · Pennsylvania · spelling and grammar police · tipping

Thanks for making me risk MY life to feed YOUR addiction!

December 27th, 2010 · 196 Comments

Writes Justin in Salem, Massachusetts: “It was the middle of the recent blizzard and we had gone for a drive in the worst of the weather (because that’s what you do for fun when you drive a Jeep) and decided to stop for a cup of coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts” (because that’s what you do for fun if you’re a New Englander).

Upon arrival, Justin and his companion were greeted with this heartfelt note of congratulations from the Dunkin’ Donuts snowstorm staff (Rick).

YOU HAVE RISKED YOU'RE [sic] LIFE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE! Congrats xoxo  Love, The Dunk's Staff (Rick)

related: Dunkin’ Donuts Employee of the Month

Tags: "customer service" · coffee · driving · most popular notes of 2010 · signed with love · snow · xoxo · your/you're

Won’t someone think of the children?

December 16th, 2010 · 57 Comments

Part 2 in our “How to be the worst neighbor ever” series comes to us courtesy of Chris in Fort Worth, Texas.

When he first saw the note go up in his apartment complex, says Chris, “I thought it was pretty funny, but it wasn’t until the thief wrote a response that I had to take a picture.”

[Typewritten:} Stop taking my newspapers, you goddamn jerk.

related: All the news that’s fit to steal

Tags: Dallas/Fort Worth · neighbors · newspaper · rebuttals · spelling and grammar police · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

The passive-aggressive mailbox prankster

December 15th, 2010 · 43 Comments

Stuffing your neighbor’s mailbox with a bag of dog poo/a dead rodent/a hundred boxes of orange tic-tacs? So amateur. If you really want to drive someone crazy, try repeatedly scratching out her name and writing “VACANT” over it instead. Apparently, it works like a charm.

Dear whoever keeps finding it necessary to inform the mail carrier my apartment is vacant, It is not. I do live here and have a need to receive my mail. Please mind your own business and stop fucking around in other people's mail boxes.  Sincerely, Apt. D

related: Stop ordering McDonald’s and then not answering your door!

Tags: going postal · i before e · irregular capitalization · neighbors · New Orleans

Feeling of failing

November 21st, 2010 · 116 Comments

Our submitter, a college student in Wisconsin, passes along this “debackle” of an e-mail a girl in her art history class recently sent to all the other students in the class — and, in a particularly gutsy/idiotic move — to the professor, too.

Adds our submitter: “The funny thing is that the class is actually very enjoyable, the instructor has never changed a test date/format, and the lectures are always well organized and engaging. Judging from all the spelling errors, she might want to drop art history and pick up an English class instead.”

Hi. I'm a classmate forced to suffer with you on this painful road of the history of art. I am reaching out to anyone who is struggling to keep up with the changing tests, the lack of pertanant [sic] information, and the hair pulling debackle [sic] of lecture.  I'm looking for people who are up for study groups and that are willing to share the load when figuring out where the hell we're going.  Feel free to contact me if your [sic] interested in hooking up and NEVER TAKING THIS CLASS AGAIN!  I'm willing to work and desprate [sic] not to do this again.  All my info is listed below, texting or e-mail is best.

related: One final critique — put the damned phone away!

Tags: college life · e-mail · Oops? · spelling and grammar police · Wisconsin · your/you're