Entries Tagged as 'spelling and grammar police'
September 24th, 2010 · 84 Comments
“I guess I’m a bad parker,” says Renee in San Antonio — but really, how bad does a parking job have to be to inspire this kind of blind rage? Especially when the scene of the crime is the parking lot outside a big box store like Best Buy, not some precious residential block.
P.S. If you’re thinking “PMS bad,” next time I escape from the kitchen, I might have to give you a barefoot kick to the crotch.
related: When parking gets political
Tags: casual sexism · p.s. · parking · San Antonio · spelling and grammar police
September 20th, 2010 · 46 Comments
Which is your favorite ode to replacing the roll?
Entry #1, from Baltimore?
Entry #2, from New Orleans?
or Entry #3, from Long Island City?
related: Scatological poetry slam
Tags: Baltimore · bathroom · ellipses-crazed · excessive capitalization · New Orleans · pure poetry · Queens · spelling and grammar police · toilet paper
September 12th, 2010 · 82 Comments
“New York Times reader” didn’t become a right-wing synonym for “elitist” out of nowhere. As the newspaper itself proclaims, “Times readers are a well-educated group. They expect sophisticated coverage and literate prose.”
But how does that literate sophistication hold up when the Gray Lady goes a-missin’? Well, if “self-aggrandizing smugness” counts as sophistication and “almost free of basic spelling and grammar errors” counts as “literate” — remarkably well, actually! (That whole “i before e” thing is pretty tricky, after all.)
Exhibit a) From Alan in Washington, DC:
Exhibit b) From an anonymous submitter in Lawrence, Kansas:
Exhibit c) From Elizabeth in Queens:
Unimpressed? Well, for the sake of comparison, let’s take a look at some notes by readers of less “sophisticated” newspapers. Like, say, the Washington Post:
Adds Robin in DC: “This person has also posted several other notes making various threats, including a promise to fill their paper with feces and glitter.”
As much as I appreciate that imagery, it’s actually New York’s other status-symbol-paper that inspires my favorite note of this genre — primarily because it so perfectly captures the essence of the Patrick Bateman/Gordon Gekko-worshipping tool I imagine the writer to be.
Our submitter, meanwhile, found the note more puzzling than anything else. Writes Danielle: “What kind of boring person steals the Wall Street Journal?”
And that, dear readers, is a question for another day.
related: Free markets, free people, free papers
extra credit: Dear Neighbors, Read This Note! [nytimes.com]
Tags: CAPS LOCK · die bitch die · i before e · most popular notes of 2010 · neighbors · newspaper · not-so-veiled threats · signed with love · stealing
Shortly after moving to Columbus, Ohio, Julie received a welcome-wagon visit from her new neighbors…in the form of a post-it note stuck to the side of her motorcycle. Her bike, which was parked on the public city street across from her house, had apparently disrupted the neighborhood’s unofficial parking “regimin.”
“I complied with the rules of their little microcosm,” Julie says, “but I also turned the note into an overhead, which was a real gold mine for the rhetoric class I was teaching at Ohio State.”
Adds Julie: “Incidentally, when parked perpendicularly, a motorcycle uses roughly 2.5 feet of street.”
related: I shoveled this spot. IT’S MINE.
Tags: Columbus · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · heart · irregular capitalization · motorcycles · neighbors · parking · spelling and grammar police
Really, folks? You share a kitchen and a bathroom, and this is all you’ve got to complain about?
::sigh:: White bread problems…
(Thanks to Sarah Jane in Australia and Michelle in Canada for submitting!)
related: Is this a thing now?
extra credit: Toasted Toast Post-it Notes [Amazon.com]
Tags: Australia · bread · roommates · siblings · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Waterloo
For her 28th birthday, Jennifer in Arizona received this thoughtful card from her mother-in-law (who apparently comes from the same school of gift-giving as my own Grandma Cookie). “Since April I’ve lost 15 pounds,” Jennifer explains. “Apparently she’s concerned that I’ll gain it back.”
related: Take this and go buy yourself a couple of scales, okay, sweetie?
Tags: Arizona · birthday · ice cream · irregular capitalization · Mothers-in-Law · your/you're
Spotted by Kelly at gas station somewhere between Los Angeles and Monterey, California: a prime example of why notewriters (and corporations) cannot live on spell-check alone.
related: Stupid is as stuiped does
Tags: California · Clearly a non-native English speaker · gas station · irregular capitalization · spelling and grammar police · toilet · You call that punctuation?
Though your attention might have drifted ever so briefly, I’d like to reassure you that the ongoing debate over which restrooms (men’s or women’s) are the foulest continues to rage on — and yes, it’s as nauseating as ever!
I literally received these two submissions — the first from an EMT school in Massachusetts, the second from a non-profit in D.C. — within minutes of each other. Mere coincidence? Or a cosmic clue from the Internet gods that it was time for a showdown between “Angulated Rectum Guy” and “The Queen of Diahrriah?” Okay, that was a gimme. The real question: who would you rather share a loo with?
Exhibit A) as witnessed by Josh in Fall River, Mass.
Exhibit B) From an anonymous bystander in College Park, Maryland
related: And you thought college students were foul…
Tags: bathroom · bold-underlined-caps · D.C. · ellipses-crazed · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Massachusetts · obnoxious definition · office · shit · spelling and grammar police · that's disgusting · toilet
Amanda in Charlestown, Mass. lives in a three-story home with an apartment on each floor and a shared patio out back. “Our downstairs neighbor is notorious for leaving us notes — ‘Don’t slam the door,’ ‘The patio is not a storage area,’ etc. — but this note topped them all,” Amanda says. ”Oh, and she clearly cannot spell.”
related: Thank you for not using my grill again
Tags: Massachusetts · neighbors · nice stationery · sharing is caring · spelling and grammar police
Catie in Indianapolis was over at the house of her boyfriend’s family’s house when she spied this adorable-looking note on the fridge. Upon further investigation, she learned it was written by her boyfriend’s 7-year-old niece as a gift to her grandparents. Adds Catie: “I saw these girls in action over the weekend, and I think the fourth line actually overstates her feelings for her sisters.”
I only hope the kid’s family holds on to her note until she’s old enough to be embarrassed/amused by her young self. As it happens, Sarah in Waco, Texas recently had the opportunity to do just that.
While cleaning out boxes after her grandmother passed away, she stumbled upon a thank you note she had written to her grandparents years earlier. (“In my defense,” Sarah says, “my brother never did write his own thank you note.”)
related: Dear Mommy, I love you…sometimes.
Tags: family · Indianapolis · nice stationery · siblings · signed with love · smiley · spelling and grammar police · Texas