CT and his friends were driving home from the beach when they stopped at a gas station in Luverne, Alabama and found this posted next to the men’s bathroom.
“The ‘Danger!’ sign below was apparently the first attempt to keep people from opening this door,” says CT. “God only knows what’s behind it. I’m assuming this door of unspeakable power continued to get opened, prompting the posting of the second sign.”
Hey, I feel your pain, gas station attendant, having to deal with so much stupidity all day long. But — with the help of Rachael in Portland — I think I’ve found someone else who can relate.
So, these two crazy kids (both of whom still live with their parents, according to our submitter), had a lil’ accident. A really exciting one! So exciting they decided the best way to share the news was en masse, via Facebook status update! So be excited for them, dammit!!!
Anybody else in the mood for a no-holds-barred, batshit-crazy tirade? ’Cause I sure am! Pretty much the only thing remotely “passive” about this message — which Jared in Seattle found taped to the front entrance of his share house — is the fact that it was delivered by note, rather than say, by fist.
The note writer takes a little while here to build up steam, but manages to get in at least one solidly below-the-belt jab before spiraling into a CAPS LOCK-induced rage blackout.
When Sarah saw this notice posted in the restroom of a Chicago movie theater, she says, “I was thrilled to find a company willing to admit what I have always secretly felt: that despite their tree-saving abilities, electric hand dryers suck.”
Scott was also thrilled to spot this sign in the men’s room of a bar in Council Bluffs, Iowa. “It’s mainly the incredibly bad spelling and punctuation that I love about it,” he says. (The less-than-incredible attempt to drum up excitement for those “fast and new hand blowers”? Not so much.)
Alejandro found this note posted in the men’s toilet of his Santa Monica office building. “All I know is the guy that does this also uses half a roll of TP,” Alejandro says, “so he’s disgusting AND he hates the environment.”
UPDATE: Yes, it’s true: women’s toilets are often left in just as “discussing” a state as the one above. As Amanda in Austin recounts: “Somebody at my work had a terribly disgusting accident in the restroom that they did not clean up, and the custodians weren’t too happy. Neither were all the other women in the building. (And though it took place in the handicap-accessible stall, as far as we know, nobody in the building is disabled.)” A trifling matter? I think not.
Our submitter and his wife in Loveland, Colorado used to work the night shift together, and they’d generally get home around 3 or 4 in the morning. “We did try our best to keep quiet,” our submitter says…but apparently their best wasn’t good enough for one of their neighbors. They never actually met this particular neighbor, but they did find this note on their door one night.
This note appears to be the work of the a non-native English speaker, so it’s not the grammar here that I’d like to draw attention to. Actually, what impressed me is what a perfectly clear picture this note paints of the writer’s mental state. ”I CAN HEAR YOU IN MY MIND!!!!!!” — complete with the six trailing exclamation points — does that not just say it all?
"I once invited a couple and their 7 year old for dinner. I received a detailed list of what the child would eat. Not a list like "pasta, cheese, pizza," but a list that included brand names, types of cheese, and the SHAPE THE CHEESE SHOULD BE CUT INTO. I tried to follow the list & thought I was golden, but was greeted by wails because the pasta was the wrong shape.
Do I need to mention that I have never invited them over again??"