PassiveAggressiveNotes.com » spurned lover http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com funny (if not necessarily "passive-aggressive") notes from pissed-off people Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:51:33 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 Sorry to break it to you http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/05/sorry-to-break-it-to-you/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/05/sorry-to-break-it-to-you/#comments Mon, 05 Jul 2010 22:55:13 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=15289 The following message is a bit long, yes, but I had to post it because it reads uncannily like what I imagine as the epistolary novel of the future — complete with an unreliable narrator à la the Adrian Mole Diaries (or the sub-par American ripoff, Youth in Revolt).

It comes to us from Helen in Northern Ireland, who gives the following backstory:  ”So, I met a friend of a friend on a night out and he offered to ‘walk me home.’ Seeing right through that clever ruse, I left, only to be bombarded with no fewer than four texts, a Facebook message and a voicemail all saying some inebriated yet romantic things.”

Months later, Helen ran into a mutual friend of this would-be Lothario, and casually said something along the lines of, ‘He tried to walk me home once, but I think he is a bit strange.’ Shortly thereafter, she received this gem of a Facebook message. “Luckily,” Helen says, “he removed and blocked me from Facebook immediately after sending it. Nice chap!”

Don't flatter yourself

related: And women like u wonder why u get judged and labeled shallow

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/07/05/sorry-to-break-it-to-you/feed/ 101 Sonic Boo http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/02/14/its-sonic-good/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/02/14/its-sonic-good/#comments Mon, 15 Feb 2010 02:22:50 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=13181 As a Valentine’s Day gift to you all, I present you with this epic love story (which Teddie in Minneapolis discovered pinned to the bulletin board in his apartment building).

Teddie’s love note to this love note: “I love that this person (he? she?) used commas, ellipses, and possibly a semicolon, but no periods. I also love how the all-caps rant in the middle segues into a plea to be Myspace friends again with an offhand ‘anyway.’ Also, what happened to her dad?”

Dear Deseray [redacted], I love you, First of all and I pretty much always Loved you really u was tha Best girlFriend I ever had you Know, you meant the world to me even though you was cheating on Her with Me everytime you was angry at Her For dancing with alot of girls at district or when your Love and affection fubbed OFF on Me and you really didn't even care, But anyway's I Miss you and talking to you and PLEASE TELL CORY dat I am sorry I Really AM, I just couldn't Help it I knew her LONGER than you and well after a While She Found Me SUPER ATTRACTIVE, and I did the Same For Her and Pretty Much everyBody kept saying dat we was great couples and SHIT you know YOU was the ONE For ME deseray I SWEAR TA MUdAFUCKING GOD you was My only Love For Me deseray. I AIN'T Never Felt No Love Like you and us...your my Guardian Angel and I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU FOREVER MORE, anyway I wish you can UNBLOCK me OFF Myspace so I can Talk to you instead of having to come all the way here on the Bus and write This shit in person you know, Anyway Hit Me up my # is [redacted] OKay and again I Love you and Miss you and will always Love you Sincerly [illegible] [redacted] A.K.A Sonic ur Boo Forever P.s; Sorry For what Happen to your DaD Too I had the Same Feeling...Love You xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Oh, Charles. You are so SUPER ATTRACTIVE I can hardly help myself. Deseray doesn’t know what’s she missing!

related: perfect for each other

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2010/02/14/its-sonic-good/feed/ 102 Textbook Dmitri http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/08/12/textbook-dmitri/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/08/12/textbook-dmitri/#comments Thu, 13 Aug 2009 03:19:17 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=11332 K, so Court in Michigan met this guy out at a bar. He seemed harmless enough, but Court knew right he wasn’t her type. Still, she didn’t have the heart to give him a flat-out “no” when he asked for her number. (She couldn’t give him a fake one, either, ’cause he the did the “dial his number into the phone and call” thing.)

Says Court: “The first time he called, I talked to him and decided right then I definitely wasn’t interested.” By the end of the conversation, she figured he’d gotten the message…but then he kept calling. And then, texting. When she didn’t respond, Court says, “I assumed he’d take the hint…but I’m not too sure he did.” Um, yeah, you could say that.

Fine, be a bitch then!

related: Not a match

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/08/12/textbook-dmitri/feed/ 184 Really though — carnations? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/03/09/really-though-%e2%80%94%c2%a0carnations/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/03/09/really-though-%e2%80%94%c2%a0carnations/#comments Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:26:37 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10577 So, Kevin in san francisco says his friend’s roommate went on three “hang out at a bar” dates with this guy from France. After the third date — in admirably straightforward fashion — he told Frenchie it wasn’t wasn’t working out and he didn’t want to see him anymore. (You know, the old “it’s not me, it’s you” routine.)

Unfortunately for them both, le bachelor did not take le hint. Instead, Kevin says, he showed up at his would-be lover’s house and paced back and forth outside the door for an hour while sending creepy text messages. “He finally left, but not without leaving a bouquet of red carnations on the hood of the car with this note attached.”

Please understand I LOVE YOU AND CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH THAT

related: he’s just not that into unicorns

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/03/09/really-though-%e2%80%94%c2%a0carnations/feed/ 143 He’s just not that into unicorns http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/15/hes-just-not-that-into-unicorns/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/15/hes-just-not-that-into-unicorns/#comments Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:04:58 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/?p=10438 Two target customers for Lisa Frank’s new line of movie tie-in stickers — coming soon to the Hot Topic/Urban Outfitters near you!

Dear Tyler, I painted you a valentine turtle and you said you would meet me earlier so I could give it to you, but YOU LIED! So, I am taping it to your door. Happy Valentine's day! I don't think we should see each other any more. Love, Molly!

(Above, from Colorado. Below, from California.)

Amor, I'm really disappointed in you. You are not my better half instead my Bitter Half!

related: Do not kiss on someone else’s kiss
extra credit: The legend of Casey™ and Caymus™

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/02/15/hes-just-not-that-into-unicorns/feed/ 97 What, no bubble letters? http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/26/what-no-bubble-letters/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/26/what-no-bubble-letters/#comments Wed, 26 Mar 2008 14:32:43 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/26/what-no-bubble-letters/ Cameron in Hyde Park, New York brings us this “maybe not-so-classic dorm dispute: girl meets boy, girl likes boy, boy has girlfriend, girl obsesses over boy, boy’s female neighbors post rejection note from boy to girl, girl…threatens neighbors, artistically.”

MIND YOUR BUSINESS, BITCH!

]]> http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/03/26/what-no-bubble-letters/feed/ 98 To be young http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/14/to-be-young/ http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/14/to-be-young/#comments Thu, 14 Feb 2008 16:56:47 +0000 Kerry http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2008/02/14/to-be-young/ Happy Valentine’s Day, kids!

Gavyn is a heart braker [sic] don't like him

(Thanks to Ron in West Jordan, Utah, who found this note taped to his front door.)

related: wake me up? wham!

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