Entries Tagged as 'stealing'

On the naughty list

December 19th, 2014 · 9 Comments

Our submitter in Townsville, Australia says that Christmas decorating season is in full swing along Australia’s Gold Coast. Unfortunately, all those strings of lights have set off a string of front-yard vandalism as well. And in Townsville, people take their Christmas lights seriously

In the spirit of the season, one disgruntled resident has added this sign to his decor. “I’m not sure how the choice profanity will go down with hundreds of cars full of children passing by every night,” she writes.  (Please note that our submitter has pre-censored the profanity from the photo, in deference to our readers’ delicate sensibilities.)

To the mongrel who stole all my solar candy canes and broke my fairy lights - I hope you're happy with yourself. Wishing you a big Merry Fuck you!!

Meanwhile, in Michigan, I think this local news headline says it all:
Beheaded Mickey Mouse Christmas decoration leaves Davison resident upset, children scared

Well, in any case, it says considerably more than the accompanying photo of this terrifying scene:

My favorite quote from the article:

“She was able to sew Mickey back together and use some Gorilla tape to patch up the gingerbread man, but some of her children’s innocence has been lost.”

related: Decor-nappings of Christmases past

extra credit: Queenslander risks death for killer Christmas light display”  [abc news brisbane]

Tags: Australia · Christmas · holiday spirit · stealing · the F word · Won't somebody think of the children?

This used to be a pretty doormat.

September 26th, 2014 · 25 Comments

Out submitter in Chicago notes that, remarkably enough, within a day or so of this note being posted (or rather, secured with packing tape to the floor), the oh-so-pretty doormat magically reappeared!

This used to be a pretty doormat until some dumb fuckin' asshole took it

(I’d like to imagine that this was the stolen doormat in question.)

THE NEIGHBORS HAVE BETTER STUFF

related: Wrath mat

extra credit: How to keep a doormat from being stolen [metafilter.com]

Tags: Chicago · neighbors · stealing

Hide Green Tomatoes!

September 18th, 2014 · 43 Comments

Emma in Canada spotted this very un-Canadian note today in her neighborhood.

Some asshole ate my ripe tomato - so now I have to eat my tomatoes not ripe to keep the their [sic] from enjoying months of watering + work. Don't steal any more JERK

Meanwhile, Christa in North Carolina apparently takes her ripe tomatoes quite seriously, too.

Steal from our garden again & I'll cut your fucking head off. K thanks bye! XOXO Christa

related: Attack of the tomato killers!

Tags: flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · stealing · xoxo

Jock block

May 5th, 2014 · 52 Comments

Michael in Las Vegas went to pick up his mail today and spotted this cocky little note:

Whoever has my package that was delivered Wednesday April 23.....I hope you are enjoying my athletic supporter. It's to protect your balls....which obviously you have none! [sic]

related: Your ultra charmin’ neighbor

Tags: Las Vegas · neighbors · stealing

Ah, the miracle of childbirth!

March 13th, 2014 · 135 Comments

Isaac prefaces this by saying, “I feel bad for the person who posted this screed. I really do.”

But — and isn’t there always a but? — he adds: “The university library here has a HUGE laptop and gadget-theft problem, and there are signs everywhere warning people not to leave their stuff unattended. This guy left a $2000+ shiny Apple laptop just sitting on a table, with all of his super-sentimental irreplaceable pictures on it, and just walked away. And then expected nothing to happen. Really?

My Apple MacBook Pro was stolen January 30 from the Alexander Library at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J.  I have just a few words for the opportunistic, cowardly thief, and I would like to throw them out into the universe so I can move on:  First, I will give you the benefit of the doubt that you are least some portion of an actual human being with a conscience and a degree or two of a moral compass...  Before you wipe my computer clean (and sell it to feed whatever disgusting vice moves you), you should open some of the folders of photography from the last 35 days. You will find all of the images and video I shot of my son Gavin since he was born on Dec, 31, 2013. Spending every moment I could with him since he was born, the backing up of my files took a back seat; your one selfish act has robbed Gavin, my wife, and my family of many irreplaceable memories. You stole everything we had to document Gavin's arrival into the world.  You should look at those photos and ask yourself a few questions about who you are. What kind of future do you think you will have if you are capable of so casually inflicting pain on other people? If you can look at those images of my son in the isolate, jabbed with i.v.'s and struggling to keep his premature body warm, and you don't feel something, then you are a lost cause. There is no pathos for you. You have chosen your path and you will walk alone to the grave. You have taken so much from me, my son, and my wife, but I can still pick up my son and feel his perfect breath on my cheek. Good luck ever finding that in your life.

related: Which is a more despicable crime?

Tags: college life · guilt trip · New Jersey · purple prose · stealing

Also, Santa hates you

December 12th, 2013 · 165 Comments

Writes our submitter from Portland, Oregon: “People steal out of the fridge all the time, so I’m not sure why someone thought money would be safe taped to barbecue sauce.”

Happy Holidays Co-Workers! Are you $2 richer? Did you find $2 taped to a bottle of BBQ sauce in the fridge? Well that means you are a thief! Also Santa hates you and I hope a Reinder poops on you. Merry Christmas you dirty animal!

related: I hope you…

Tags: Christmas · holiday spirit · money · most popular notes of 2013 · office fridge · stealing

Is it really Baby Jesus stealing season again already?

November 18th, 2013 · 99 Comments

It’s not even Thanksgiving yet, but as Rachel in Victoria, B.C. noticed, nativity scenes are already becoming crime scenes.

I hate to say that and most of you may not even believe it, but there are people they steal

related: Baby Jesus is AWOL

Tags: British Columbia · Christmas · Jesus · most popular notes of 2013 · stealing · warning

Another year without the Great Pumpkin

October 17th, 2013 · 43 Comments

Well, it’s that time of year again…time for heartless hooligans to smash pumpkins (and with them, the hearts of small, gourd-loving children).

David in California spotted this sign next to a small field of corn and pumpkins located next to a popular public jogging trail.

Whoever stole the Big Pumpkin you broke a little boy's heart

related: It’s hard out there for a pumpkin.

Tags: California · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · Halloween · stealing · Won't somebody think of the children?

What is it about mothers-in-law and towels?

September 25th, 2013 · 44 Comments

And was it one of the “special” towels? (The kind that keep you in indentured servitude for seven years before you’re allowed to marry?)

To whoever stole my big yellow towel,  I am glad you used my towel and have taken it off to be washed. However, that towel actually wasn't mine, it was my future mother-in-law's, lent to me last week. I'd really like to get married one day so if you could bring the towel back ASAP, that would be great

P.S. I’d like to dedicate this post to my brother Danny and his fiancée, Meg, who are getting married this weekend in Minneapolis!

related: Those were the special towels!

Tags: family · Ireland · stealing

Is that a chicken wing in your pocket, or…

September 16th, 2013 · 18 Comments

Those must be some darn big pockets you’ve got there, Elwood.

Elwood- I have you on video tape stuffing chicken wings in your pockets! You owe $82. Roper

(Thanks to Jessi in Illinois for submitting!)

related: A Roadside Intervention

extra credit: “Men accused of stealing $65,000 in chicken wings” [cbsatlanta.com]

Tags: food · Illinois · money · most popular notes of 2013 · public shaming · small town living · stealing