Entries Tagged as 'stealing'

…since we’re a community

October 25th, 2009 · 146 Comments

chris in providence brings us this show-stopper from the computer science department at brown university. my head is still spinning a little bit.

meanwhile, in lake forest, california…

related: the nerd’s guide to passive-aggressive behavior

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · signed with love · stealing · university

sympathy for the devil

October 4th, 2009 · 145 Comments

this good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!
(click the image below to enlarge)

related: what would jesus do for a klondike bar?

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · god · guilt trip · ice cream · stealing · you're like so going to hell

wishin’ and hopin’

September 24th, 2009 · 116 Comments

when dealing with anonymous strangers, there’s no point in playing coy about your hopes and dreams. tell us, kids, what do you REALLY want?

related: i hope your cat chokes

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Tags: die bitch die · god · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · office fridge · stealing

totally fried green tomatoes

September 9th, 2009 · 94 Comments

shannon in new york saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for.
the thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

related: the [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · new york · plants · spelling and grammar police · stealing · wtf?

and jesus said “oh, snap!”

September 7th, 2009 · 133 Comments

another sign of the times: nick in tampa, florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. and yet, when they’re left out “unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them,” nick says. eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good [...]

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Tags: diet coke · jesus · office · oh snap · stealing · tampa

your vest smells like beaver mustard

August 31st, 2009 · 111 Comments

today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (hey there, commenters!)
this first note, as spotted by dana in san francisco, needs no further introduction.

next up: michelle in orlando says this note posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “our uniforms include a vest made [...]

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Tags: double-entendre alert · heart · office · p.s. · sad face · smiley · stealing · thanks (but not really)

comrades, take notice!

August 23rd, 2009 · 92 Comments

sarah in san francisco convinced her friend tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom. writes sarah: “i am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the [...]

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Tags: TP · not-so-veiled threats · p.s. · stealing

okay, now you’re just screwing with me

August 5th, 2009 · 128 Comments

this is one of those notes i’ve spent far too long puzzling over. the frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

sir/ma’am, i will gladly supply you with as many baby ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought [...]

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Tags: god · irregular capitalization · new york · office · stealing · wtf? · you call that punctuation?

a lunch thief with serious balls

July 19th, 2009 · 124 Comments

kim in canberra says this a3-sized missive was posted in numerous locations on all four floors of her building. of this numbered list, i’d say #3 is what puts it over the top.
on a related note:  did you know the word “avocado” comes from the aztec word for testicle? (thanks, wikipedia!)

 
related: who moved my cheese?
extra [...]

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Tags: australia · canberra · martyr complex · stealing · university

and those cheetos were my baby’s yellow dye #6

June 26th, 2009 · 90 Comments

this (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (how this one got buried in my inbox for so long, i have no idea.)
it comes to us courtesy of jennifer in chapel hill, n.c., who notes: “in this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate hq — [...]

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Tags: all-staff e-mail · moms & dads · north carolina · office · preggers · stealing

that personalized stationery finally comes in handy

June 10th, 2009 · 132 Comments

extra p in charlottesville, virginia found this note in his office break room. he draws our attention to two sections in particular: “the ‘let there be closure’ line, which seems more appropriate for a break-up note, and the ‘mark an X if you threw it away’ part, which reminds me of grade school mash notes. [...]

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Tags: charlottesville · office · stealing · virginia · water

i don’t remember signing any bond/contract regarding your use of exclamation points!!!!!

May 26th, 2009 · 117 Comments

writes toni in wales: ” i found these fightin’ words taped to one housemate’s cupboard. we’ve had some things go missing in the house, so i sympathise with their frustration. but the funniest part of this note, i think, is that this housemate had previously called a house meeting to complain about the other housemates’ [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · roommates · stealing · wales

ladri di biciclette

May 11th, 2009 · 192 Comments

failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

2. feigning empathy for said thief.

3. chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

(grazie mille to nadia [...]

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Tags: Amsterdam · australia · bicycle · london · melbourne · stealing

people got a lotta nerve

April 26th, 2009 · 126 Comments

“one of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes ali in minnesota. “when others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. after a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · highlighter · minnesota · not-so-veiled threats · office · stealing

the international brotherhood of daves

April 16th, 2009 · 161 Comments

writes joe in van nuys, california: “dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea.  apparently, he was unaware of other potential daves in the office. next time, maybe he should clarify?”

related: who’s the smartass?

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Tags: california · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · tea

askin’ for it

April 13th, 2009 · 130 Comments

i mean, really…messages like this are just chum for bored teenagers, no?
writes marc from chicago: “i saw this in a small town off route 26 in nebraska. as soon as i finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what i was doing. once she [...]

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Tags: restaurant · retail hell · stealing · vandalism

the soul of lingerie

April 10th, 2009 · 110 Comments

two words: missing tarantula.

mascara-borrowing roommate.

just pathetic.

related: just another picture to burn

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Tags: office · roommates · stealing

what would jesus do for a klondike bar?

April 7th, 2009 · 104 Comments

joanna from san diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in chattanooga, tennessee.  writes joanna: “i love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. delicious!”

related: no, He uses vaseline

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Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy! · jesus · martyr complex · old folks · stealing · tennessee

and yet…the pink flowers?

March 29th, 2009 · 81 Comments

writes our anonymous submitter in hartford, connecticut: “we’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
i appreciate the initial sentiment here — i really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that [...]

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Tags: bathroom · clip art catastrophe · disgruntled janitor · exclamation-point happy! · inappropriate word EMPHASIS · irregular capitalization · office · piss · stealing · toilet

the ripped-off tabs are what get me

March 18th, 2009 · 154 Comments

veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in san francisco. i totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  i know exactly how you feel.
also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going “why yes, i will fuck myself!” is just [...]

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Tags: CAPS LOCK · california · fuck fuckity fuck fuck · san francisco · stealing