chris in providence brings us this show-stopper from the computer science department at brown university. my head is still spinning a little bit.

meanwhile, in lake forest, california…

related: the nerd’s guide to passive-aggressive behavior

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this good-humored e-mail was send out to the entire staff of an elementary school…IN HELL!
(click the image below to enlarge)

related: what would jesus do for a klondike bar?

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when dealing with anonymous strangers, there’s no point in playing coy about your hopes and dreams. tell us, kids, what do you REALLY want?

related: i hope your cat chokes

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shannon in new york saw this note posted on the fence of the nearby community garden while she and her roommate were taking her dog for a walk for.
the thought of a little old lady glued to her binoculars at 4 in the morning, this had them laughing for many prepositional phrases of time.

related: the [...]

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another sign of the times: nick in tampa, florida says the sodas in his small office used to be free, but now they cost 50 cents. and yet, when they’re left out “unguarded and unsecured, naturally, people steal them,” nick says. eventually, one coworker thought instilling the fear of god would make for a good [...]

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today’s post is dedicated to the dirty minds in the department of double entendres. (hey there, commenters!)
this first note, as spotted by dana in san francisco, needs no further introduction.

next up: michelle in orlando says this note posted on the employee mailboxes at the theme park where she works. “our uniforms include a vest made [...]

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sarah in san francisco convinced her friend tim to take a photo of this note, the third in a series of progressively sterner notes that has appeared in his office restroom. writes sarah: “i am a fan of, inter alia, the fact that the author ‘buries the lead’ in the p.s. in the middle; the [...]

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this is one of those notes i’ve spent far too long puzzling over. the frustratingly random capitalization, the misuse of/missing punctuation, the center justification, and of course, THE BOX. WHY THE BOX?

sir/ma’am, i will gladly supply you with as many baby ruths as you can stuff down your gullet if you can reconstruct the thought [...]

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kim in canberra says this a3-sized missive was posted in numerous locations on all four floors of her building. of this numbered list, i’d say #3 is what puts it over the top.
on a related note:  did you know the word “avocado” comes from the aztec word for testicle? (thanks, wikipedia!)

 
related: who moved my cheese?
extra [...]

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this (long-overdue) all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (how this one got buried in my inbox for so long, i have no idea.)
it comes to us courtesy of jennifer in chapel hill, n.c., who notes: “in this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate hq — [...]

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extra p in charlottesville, virginia found this note in his office break room. he draws our attention to two sections in particular: “the ‘let there be closure’ line, which seems more appropriate for a break-up note, and the ‘mark an X if you threw it away’ part, which reminds me of grade school mash notes. [...]

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writes toni in wales: ” i found these fightin’ words taped to one housemate’s cupboard. we’ve had some things go missing in the house, so i sympathise with their frustration. but the funniest part of this note, i think, is that this housemate had previously called a house meeting to complain about the other housemates’ [...]

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failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.

2. feigning empathy for said thief.

3. chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.

(grazie mille to nadia [...]

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“one of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes ali in minnesota. “when others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. after a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went [...]

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writes joe in van nuys, california: “dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea.  apparently, he was unaware of other potential daves in the office. next time, maybe he should clarify?”

related: who’s the smartass?

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i mean, really…messages like this are just chum for bored teenagers, no?
writes marc from chicago: “i saw this in a small town off route 26 in nebraska. as soon as i finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what i was doing. once she [...]

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two words: missing tarantula.

mascara-borrowing roommate.

just pathetic.

related: just another picture to burn

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joanna from san diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in chattanooga, tennessee.  writes joanna: “i love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. delicious!”

related: no, He uses vaseline

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writes our anonymous submitter in hartford, connecticut: “we’re not much for posting notes in our restroom at work., so the situation must have been pretty dire for someone to go to the trouble to craft this one.”
i appreciate the initial sentiment here — i really do. this website has already condemned the cutesy rhyme that [...]

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veronica spotted this gloriously expressive exercise in futility stapled to a telephone pole near her home in san francisco. i totally forgive the double p in “apartment,” because dude,  i know exactly how you feel.
also, the idea of someone ripping off one of those tabs and going “why yes, i will fuck myself!” is just [...]

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