Entries Tagged as 'stealing'
This all-staff e-mail is like a fetus-sized version of one of my favorite self-righteous masterpieces. (How this one got buried in my inbox for so long, I have no idea.)
It comes to us courtesy of Jennifer in Chapel Hill, N.C., who notes: “In this instance, ‘local users,’ is everyone in our corporate HQ — including the president, vice presidents, directors, legal counsel, etc., who don’t typically utilize the refrigerator in the staff break room.”
related: It must have been a pretty big bite
extra credit: STFU, Parents
Tags: all-staff e-mail · Moms & Dads · North Carolina · office · office fridge · preggers · runaway run-on sentences · stealing · yogurt
Evan in San Diego spotted this bilingual warning in a local thrift shop. “I particularly enjoy the vaguely racist implication of the Spanish translation,” Evan adds. “It’s the only sign in the store (among dozens) that’s en espanol.”
related: When nature calls
Si te robas algo de esta tienda, es lo mismo que robar de alguien que esta infectado con SIDA. Fijate!!! Stealing from this shop is the same as stealing from people with AIDS. Consider this!!!
Tags: Espanol · guilt trip · oh no you didn't · questionable logic · retail hell · San Diego · stealing
Extra P in Charlottesville, Virginia found this note in his office break room. He draws our attention to two sections in particular: “the ‘let there be closure’ line, which seems more appropriate for a break-up note, and the ‘mark an X if you threw it away’ part, which reminds me of grade school mash notes. Besides, what did our local kleptomaniac want with a jelly jar full of water, anyway?”
related: Next time, go for the Fiji?
Missing jelly jar please return. The night before last I put a kelly jar on the dish rack full of water, to soak. It has a water tight lid. I know it doesn’t seem like something important, but I would like it back. If you have it, please bring it back. If you threw it away, please let me know so there can be closure. Thank you.
Tags: Charlottesville · office · stealing · Virginia
Writes Toni in Wales: “I found these fightin’ words taped to one housemate’s cupboard. We’ve had some things go missing in the house, so I sympathise with their frustration. But the funniest part of this note, I think, is that this housemate had previously called a house meeting to complain about the other housemates’ infrequent and only slightly passive-aggressive notes. She considered them to be lowering the tone of the household, and demanded that any issues be raised in person (fair enough) — but then posted this doozy with no warning. The 30 exclamation points are a nice touch, though.”
related: What would Jesus do for a Klondike bar?
Tags: CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · roommates · stealing · Wales
Failed strategies in bicycle theft deterrence:
1. Assuming the thief who stole your bike is schooled in Italian neorealism; appealing to said thief’s desire to be one of the cool kids.
2. Feigning empathy for said thief.
3. Chiding said thief for his stupidity via a barely legible run-on sentence without double-checking “you’re” grammar first.
(Grazie mille to Nadia in Melbourne, Chris in Amsterdam, and Tom in London for submitting!)
related: No, Daddy, I asked for a Wii!
Tags: Amsterdam · Australia · bicycle · London · Melbourne · public shaming · stealing · your/you're
“One of my coworkers — normally a calm, even-keeled woman — sits near the door of the office,” writes Ali in Minnesota. “When others come in at night to write reports or look up info, they apparently destroy her desk in the matter of minutes. After a series of coffee cups and chair-lowerings, up went this note. Everyone in the office found it so funny they started adding snarling animals to the note. Ferocious!”
While I can understand this woman’s frustration, one thing I’ll never be able to understand is the logic behind highlighting an entire (caps-locked!) message.
related: cubicle etiquette
Tags: CAPS LOCK · high on highlighter · Minnesota · not-so-veiled threats · office · stealing
Writes Joe in Van Nuys, California: “Dave has been upset because people have been drinking his tea. Apparently, he was unaware of other potential Daves in the office. Next time, maybe he should clarify?”
related: Who’s the smartass?
Tags: California · most popular notes of 2009 · office fridge · rebuttals · stealing · tea
Writes Marc from Chicago: “I saw this in a small town off Route 26 in Nebraska. As soon as I finished snapping photos of the signs, the woman who ran the drive-thru came out and demanded to know what I was doing. Once she realized that I was not there to mess with the sign, she became friendly. Evidently, the situation was exactly as it appeared: unidentified no-goodniks had been swiping the letters from the sign or re-arranging the amiable witticisms (‘Men, I don’t understand. Chocolate, I’m an expert!’) into significantly ruder form.”
Meanwhile, Rikki spotted this sign (which may or may not be an homage to this one, which made the rounds on the interweb a few years back) in downtown Oklahoma City.
related: and pull up your sign
Tags: Nebraska · Oklahoma · restaurant · retail hell · stealing · vandalism
Two words: missing tarantula.
related: Just one question
Tags: office · roommates · stealing
Joanna from San Diego spotted this beauty in the public kitchen at her grandparents’ retirement home in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Writes Joanna: “I love it because it combines passive-aggressiveness with religious sanctimony. Delicious!”
related: no, He uses vaseline
Tags: "helpful" advice · CAPS LOCK · exclamation-point happy!!!! · Jesus · martyr complex · most popular notes of 2009 · old folks · stealing · Tennessee