Entries Tagged as 'stealing'

I know where she lives

January 3rd, 2008 · 126 Comments

Margarita spotted this note in the window of a laundromat in San Francisco. Honestly, she says, “I’m more afraid of a vindictive, threatening neighbor than a laundry ‘theif.’”

LAUNDRY THEIF [sic]

related: No, that’s not the British spelling

Tags: laundry · neighbors · San Francisco · spelling and grammar police · stealing · warning

Adio, amigo

December 12th, 2007 · 103 Comments

Our anonymous submitter saw this note posted on the door to the walk-in cooler at a convenience store in Boerne, Texas. “The clerk told me that the Red Bull delivery guy had been drinking Red Bull and leaving the empty cans on the floor of the walk-in,” our submitter says. “In her words, ‘he was knockin’ himself off!’”

adio, amigo

(the full scene)

but it gives you wings

related: “If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books.”

Tags: beverages · CAPS LOCK · message to all intended for one · spelling and grammar police · stealing

It’s not funny, it’s my sandwich

December 5th, 2007 · 138 Comments

Joe in Northern Virginia has amassed a pretty divine collection of office fridge notes over the years, the best of which portend various forms of karmic/economic/physical retribution.

IT's not funny! It's not a joke! It's STEALING...and it could cost you your job! Please be sure that you don't "accidentally" eat someone else's food!

BEWARE One of your coworkers is a thief and so completely lazy that they stole my sandwich. They stole a HOMEMADE sandwich. Who steals food in the first place? And honestly, who steals a non-packaged product? Do you really want something someone else handled? From now on, I suggest everyone sneezes on and profusely licks their food prior to bringing it to work. I know I will.

The the ignorant person who stole my lunch between yesterday and today: I just wanted to let you know that I have strep throat and you'll notice I had partially eaten the food. Don't be surprised if you get sick.

related: It must have been a pretty big bite

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · ellipses-crazed · food · karma's a bitch · licking · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · Reston · stealing · Virginia

ABP on the V8

December 2nd, 2007 · 88 Comments

Nobody likes it when food goes missing from the office fridge, but one V8-drinking facilities staffer in Savannah, Georgia wanted to make her displeasure a bit more official.

ABP on the V8

Adds our anonymous submitter: “As you can see, the pest control department took appropriate action.”

ABP on the V8

related: If the TSA was in charge of the office fridge? 

Tags: beverages · Georgia · office · office fridge · Savannah · stealing

I’ve got my eye on you

November 27th, 2007 · 135 Comments

Laura spotted this punchline of a note (“you know it’s time to move out when…”) at her apartment building in downtown Brooklyn. Or rather, her former apartment building. It’s unclear whether the note-leaver was motivated by recent research suggesting that pictures of eyes may deter crime.

Attn: To the Ass-hole who keeps breaking & entering this building to steal the locks off the doors, you will be caught.

Meanwhile, Kim in Worcester, Massachusetts spotted a convenience store taking a similarly whimsical approach to theft prevention.

Did you know? Stealing is a crime. When we catch you we will call the police and have you arrested. We are watching you and so are the camera's [sic]. Say cheese!

Tags: apostrophe abuse · Brooklyn · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · Massachusetts · more aggressive than passive · not-so-veiled threats · stealing · the po-po · Worcester

“No” questions asked

November 26th, 2007 · 122 Comments

I love how the notewriter quickly abandons the initial pretense here, then completely throws in the towel with the last line.

Will the people who "borrowed" our flower boxes (white flowers, dirt and all) please return them? No questions asked. :(  (Except - WHY???)

Thanks to Adam in San Francisco for spotting this masterpiece!

Tags: "accidental" "borrowing" · CAPS LOCK · confusion??? · flowers, trees, houseplants & gardens · sad face · San Francisco · stealing

“If it wasn’t for the toilet, there would be no books”

November 21st, 2007 · 117 Comments

Reading in the bathroom is one thing…but kicking back with a purloined Snapple? Tbat’s one step too far for this food service establishment, as spotted by Jenny in Washington, D.C.

*Attention Customers* Recently we have experienced customers stealing drinks and consuming them in our bathroom. We kindly ask that you stop this as we do not tolerate stealers in our store. If this continues to proceed, right course of action will be taken to stop this violation immediately. Thank you.

You gotta love that passive voice! Any kindly guesses re: the crossed-out word?

Tags: "customer service" · bathroom · high on highlighter · not-so-veiled threats · passive voice · restaurant · stealing

Come get some

October 26th, 2007 · 148 Comments

Lisa in Berkeley says she was doing laundry in her dorm building when someone pointed out this amazing note to her. “According to that person, who knew the note-poster through a friend, ‘The towels were actually nice. They were from Kohl’s or something.’”

I just want whoever stole my fucking towels last night, btwn the hours of 3 and 8 am, to know that u deserve to die for that shit, its [sic] trifling, and disgusting. I wiped btwn my legs with those towels! U are nasty. Please know that if either I or my roommate notice our towels in your load one day, and [sic] ass kicking will surely follow. 4th floor Slottman residents, come get some.

Lisa says the note has since been taken down. “I guess either an RA got to it, or someone got a beating.”

Tags: Berkeley · California · college life · Comic Sans Alert · comma diarrhea · die bitch die · laundry · not-so-veiled threats · RA · spelling and grammar police · stealing · that's disgusting · TMI · towels

Free markets, free people, free papers

October 19th, 2007 · 217 Comments

Another doozy of an apartment manager note from Oakland, California! Our anonymous submitter wasn’t able to save any of those 14 notices, so it’s unclear if any of them were anything like this one.

if only they had consulted m-w.com

related: love, apt. 3

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · excessive underlining · guilt trip · landlords and property managers · neighbors · newspaper · Oakland · obnoxious definition · stealing

You gotta keep ’em separated

October 18th, 2007 · 184 Comments

This delightful note comes to us from the wilds of suburban Orange County, California. “There is a door at my school (a private college) that is constantly propped open,” explains Amy, a grad student. “Up until yesterday, the note on the door said, ‘Please close door.’ I have NO idea about the microwave burning, or what the note writer has against skateboarders.”

OK, WE GIVE UP!

Adds Amy: “How does one burn a microwave, anyway? Maybe they put one microwave inside of another microwave?”

Tags: California · CAPS LOCK · college life · excessive underlining · exclamation-point happy!!!! · irregular capitalization · microwave · opening/closing · Orange County · reverse psychology · spelling and grammar police · stealing · thanks (but not really)