(Charlie in Los Angeles did not eat your lunch.)
Entries Tagged as 'stealing'
June 5th, 2007 · 12 Comments
June 4th, 2007 · 7 Comments
Oh, how I love (totally tacky) reply-all e-mails.
Thanks to submitter Kate in New York City — who says she has a whole inbox full of e-mails like this from the coworkers at her law firm.
June 4th, 2007 · 38 Comments
What Would Jesus Steal?
(Thanks to Sarah at Greenville College (a Christian school in Illinois) and James in Beaumont, Texas for their submissions.)
related: Would Jesus steal jelly?
June 3rd, 2007 · 21 Comments
“My roommate Ian kept eating all the cereal I bought before I had a chance to have even a single bowl,” Dan says. Apparently the Cap’n decided to take matters into his own hands.
If you can’t read it, the Cap’n is saying: “Ian, If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. Love, Dan.”
June 1st, 2007 · 17 Comments
re: “You left evidence”, Good Soul says:
In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also found out about the fine taste of the thief – sugar was high in the rank. So on a random day, I placed a box of very nice sugar treats with the same sign, in the same place, and — as expected — it disappeared pretty soon. That was 9-10AM. By 2PM, the horse laxative I put in the food made two co-workers abandon the office in a hurry, only to spend the next 24 to 48 hours in the hospital.
Nothing was ever said (it could lead to lawsuit). If needed, I would claim the treats where for my horses, and “not for human consumption” — notice a similarity? I immediately stopped eating the food I left behind, just in case they thought of doing the same. Somehow, food never disappeared again. Next time I would use ink — permanent ink — just in case the idiots choose the lawsuit option.
Back in the day when I worked at a public library somebody stole my Hot Pockets. I responded by writing this passive-aggressive haiku (or something similar, I can’t recall it exactly) and posting it on the fridge:
Dear Hot Pocket Thief:
I hope that it tastes like guilt,
So hot and delish
The next day there was a note from the Hot Pocket thief who was profuse in his/her apology, as well as two new replacement boxes of hot pockets. I felt really terrible despite it all, and attempt to curb any passive aggressive behavior from myself.
re:“I spit in mine”, briggs says:
Where I used to work, there was this guy who would drink from anothers guy drink when he left the room. One time he place his drink on a napkin and wrote: “I spit in this”. When he got back somebody else had written “So did I!”
May 31st, 2007 · 23 Comments
From Lindsay in Burbank:
Says the author of post-it #2: “The next day, she added a note that said, ‘Keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”
And from Jason in New Haven:
(To the left, the original note. To the right, the response.)
If you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not that far off.
May 30th, 2007 · 14 Comments
This exercise in redundancy is brought to us by Erika in Los Angeles. It’s like the note-writer couldn’t decide which tactic would be most effective and just opted for all of the above.
Tags: "helpful" advice · bullet points · excessive underlining · food · guilt trip · high on highlighter · Los Angeles · not-so-veiled threats · office · office fridge · pleasantries as afterthought · spelling and grammar police · stealing
May 30th, 2007 · 25 Comments
Michele in Jasper, Indiana says she doesn’t actually expect to see her digital camera again, “but I at least wanted to inflict some guilt on the person who took it.”
May 29th, 2007 · 33 Comments
…but Hot Pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.
Exhibit a: New York City
Exhibit b: Southern Oregon
Exhibit c: Washington, D.C.
Exhibit d: Oahu, Hawaii
Thanks to Beth at Columbia and DJ Shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.
May 28th, 2007 · 19 Comments
Don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (It’s been more than a month since she received this note, and Kiki from Boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)
related: I Can’t Believe It’s Not (My) Butter