(from matt in the netherlands)

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writes lauren in kansas: “my roommate is known for her notes towards me and our other roommate. we never touch each others food as is but i guess she felt the need to threaten us to keep it that way.”

lauren adds: “inside the box? a ton of containers of frozen cookie dough.”

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as the vilification of outback-bread-eating michelle shows, the passive-aggressive notes community has no mercy for the unrepentant food thief.
in fact, screw repentance — we’re out for revenge.
beyond simple note-leaving, one of most popular tactics for dealing with thieves seems to be the “if i can’t have it, nobody can” approach: [...]

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those of you that side consistently with team passive-aggressive might enjoy this excerpt from ian urbina’s book, life’s little annoyances.
urbina’s thesis: “criticizing something for being passive-aggressive is like faulting a tactic for being discreet. just as there are times when subtlety is the worst approach, there are also times when passive aggression is the best.”
as [...]

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if you’re wondering what oxypowder is, allow kenneth to explain.

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(spotted by kyla in regina, saskatchewan.)

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vici lives in london with five roommates — all guys.
(if you don’t have a house full of cereal-stealing warcraft players like vici and don’t get the “orly?” thing…wikipedia to the rescue!)
related: cereal killer 

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(charlie in los angeles did not eat your lunch.)

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oh, how i love (totally tacky) reply-all e-mails.

thanks to kate in new york city, who says she has a whole inbox full of e-mails like this from the coworkers at her law firm.

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(from sarah’s AMAZING photo set, “notes on theft”, and from james in beaumont, texas.)

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the cap’n is saying, “ian: If I catch you eating this delicious cereal, I’ll kill you in your sleep. love, dan.”
(”my roommate ian kept eating all the cereal i bought before i had a chance to have even a single bowl,” dan explains.)

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re: “you left evidence”, Good Soul says:

In 2001, I solved a “disappearing food” problem without these little notes. For some time (3 weeks or so), I bought some very nice food, put my name on it with a “do not touch — not for human consumption!” sign, and watched it disappear. I also [...]

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exhibit a, from lindsay in burbank:

says the author of post-it #2: “the next day, she added a note that said, ‘keep eating my sushi and you’re going to find out!’”
and exhibit b, from jason in new haven:

(to the left, the original note. to the right, the response.)
if you’re guessing these guys are engineers, you’re not [...]

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from the cubicle of michele in jasper, indiana.
michele says she doesn’t actually expect to see her digital camera again, “but I at least wanted to inflict some guilt on the person who took it.”

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…but hot pockets are totally the car radios of the communal freezer.
exhibit a: new york city

exhibit b: southern oregon

exhibit c: washington, d.c.

exhibit d: oahu, hawaii

thanks to beth at columbia and dj shaggy for their help in uncovering this phenomenon.

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don’t be fooled by the smiley: this is the kind of note that really throws you off balance. (it’s been more than a month since she received this note, and kiki from boston says she’s still shaking in her boots a little.)

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this fiendishly funny note comes to us courtesy of jennifer in philly, who does not condone the theft of bottled water of any kind.

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the stolen item in question here? a serving of creamer.

this one’s an anonymous submission, but i have my suspicions…even if the grammar is a little off.

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jimmy in worcester brings this jaunty little note to us from the lambda chi alpha house at WPI.
says jimmy: “the kid whose cookware was hidden ended up just leaving the utensils (tongs, spatula, etc…) wherever they were hidden and simply bought a new set. this forced the kid who originally hid them to find them [...]

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spotted by sam, who also brings us this little gem — the most precise vending-machine operating instructions ever written.

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